Joe volunteered to lay wreaths at Arlington, it seemed to put him in the Christmas mood but me, I complained to him just days before Christmas that I wasn't in the spirit, and wasn't really looking forward to it. I feel bad. I ended up with major PMS sparked by the darn meds. I felt terrible. I forgot to bring the BC with me on vacation and had to call the nurses and explain my ineptness. I feel silly. Christmas eve was nice, but weird. My crazy aunt gave me a necklace with her initial on it, my grab gift was awesome, the kids we're too cute, I got to see my cousin S whom I always seem to miss at family functions, and my husband didn't seem to crack under my families extreme ability to make an immense amount of noise. I felt pretty good.
Christmas day was nice, my parents in the morning; his in the afternoon. It was a nice time. Then the weekend came and went. We had a party with the W extended family. The drive to and from was horrid thanks to constant complaining by L. The party itself was fun. Over all I just felt indifferent over the season in general. The good the bad and the thought of ugliness continues.
January 12 is soon approaching. I cannot think of much else. Really Christmas was a blur, I was in a personal fog and continue to be that way. I am concerned from everything from money to child care during the process. Not sure if I am really feeling the real issues associated with IVF. I am almost numb to it, but every other thought, feeling, or action is times five. It is so not me.
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