Sunday, January 29, 2012


I sold the Volvo :P) S is taking the cash to the post office tomorrow so that he can get a few money orders, then we are sending them directly to Citi Bank. Life is good my friends. Life is good.

The Countdowns

Because December was the month of which I shall not speak of concerning countdowns I figured January would be horrible when started crunching numbers again. But alas, I faced the music. 

DEBT: Well we added a new car, obviously that adds to the mountain, but we were reasonable and feel good about that. We also paid off the old car first and have that to sell, we've procured a potential buyer; there's a story there - I think I am going to back out of the sale, but I am confident that we can sell it by the end of February. In the end if you don't count the new car we were able to get our number down 42079 which is a whopping 800 dollars down in two months. That is pretty lousy, but we're back on the horse! The 42079 is a moot point because of the new vehicle but the countdown certainly is not. Next on the list. Citi Bank. We are just tackling one at a time now. The balance: 2233.00. This is left over from our very first IVF cycle with the military. It will be so nice when that is non-existent! The new job will certainly help that one :P)

Weight: M and I are still plugging away and I have been seeing results. I am down yet another few pounds and started to flatten out in some of my rounder areas. Also my boobs are smaller - thank GOD! I hate having a large chest. You'd think that since I had a breast reduction surgery I wouldn't have that problem, but I do. Those puppies shoot up to a Double D at the first sign of emotional eating.

The Sale: I have buyer in waiting. They've offered cash and just request I drive it to them one town away. At first it sounded reasonable but in one day they called me three or four times asking oddly specific questions about the DMV, transferring plates, and asking to lower the price for this reason or that. Then they asked if they could keep my plates until they were able to go the DMV. Another call was concerning the timing belt. I was honest, it hasn't been changed, it costs 675 for that and the water pump at my mechanic, he'll honor that price for  you, and they were like "well it really costs 1000." Anyway they are suppose to call me with a time to meet up. Keep in mind they haven't even seen the car yet. If they don't call by noon, I'm calling them and telling them no thank you. If they call me, I am telling them the same thing.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Week One ... Down & Out

This was my first full week in my office. I survived. Plus it is pay day! I was so excited to get my first real paycheck in almost four years! I got my nails done on the way home! I must talk in all exclamations!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Nicknames

I still haven't come up with the witty, pun filled, and silly nickname for the clinic. There has to be one out there, but currently all that seems to be on my mind is nicknaming the people I work with:

Co-worker 1: The "Where's Waldo" of the fertility clinic. I've played more Where's Waldo in the last few days they I have my entire motherhood. However this co-worker is a girl, so it's more like "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" So co-worker #1 equals Carmen. Furthermore it has shifted from Where's Waldo as I get to know people because they've stopped all looking alike, lab coats, and really bad shoes. [ Are these people checking the mirror before they leave the house?]

Co-worker 2: The judge aka Judge-E-McJudgerson. She knows everyone and everyone knows her. And behind your back she tells everyone else all of your pitfalls. She has used terms like "incompetent", "hard headed", "a little slow", "brain dead", and "uneducated" to talk about almost everyone in the office and I've only known her for a few days. Also, she's been there the longest of any employee in the office (including the doctors) and she has already been asking me how to do things. Scary. (oddly I find old grannies quite endearing and like her in spite of her judgmental ways.)

Favorite nurse = Favorite nurse, there's only one and she is my favorite.

Grouchy nurse = Grouchy nurse, there is one in particular but this could serve as several nicknames in one.

Doctor 1# Late all the time. Runs up to two hours off schedule. Very sweet, very caring, very nice. Slightly passive aggressive. Nickname = Herb.

Doctor 2 # Young guy, nice, prompt, obviously a favorite amongst patients, although so is Herb; to be fair, has a slight case of  'I'm the doctor-itis', but overall pleasant, slightly confrontational in a passive aggressive manner. (He's coming to give you what for ... then he pussies out) I'm great ul he's a puss. Although it would be completely inaccurate to call him such all the time. He's a work in progress. Doctor 2 will have to suffice. 

Then there is BFGG. Bodily Function Gross Girl. She burped on me today. It was so disgusting that I almost threw up. Her job and mine are closely related, I pretty much cannot do my job without her. Plus everyone in the office loves her. I find her repulsive. Really. Nasty. BFGG. 

Today after the incident I was in a daze and handed Doctor #2 a chart without bringing his patients back. Then when he asked where they were I said, I'd bring them back and accidentally brought them directly to him instead of having them wait in his waiting area. He was totally unprepared, I was still fighting the urge to vomit, and I swear the smell of BFGG was following me around, Doc 2 then becomes slightly confrontational in the most passive aggressive way and I was thinking "dude just send me an email - do you not know that I was almost killed by BFGG?!?!?!? I might actaully die right here, right now."

And then there is "corporate" which is anyone at the main hospital, pain in my ass. My response to their constant comments and picking today "I am too new to be wrapped up in these politics." Obviously I will be speaking to my favorite nurse to help.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Just A Rant

Dearest Asshole,

The red light is in 50 yards, we don't have to race there.


The Driver Going the Speed Limit!

Dearest Co-worker,

Sure you have a migraine. Sure. Thanks for calling in sick. I know it was gorgeous outside. I would have loved a day off too.


The New Girl, Who Just Got Screwed

Dearest 7/11,

Thank you so much for carrying Chobani. I ran out. And of course thank you for charging me double the actual cost. 

The Oddly Grateful One

Dearest Mother Nature,

THANK YOU! I had a blast today outside with C. This weather makes me feel so refreshed!


The Girl Who Doesn't Really Believe in Mother Nature - so Thanks God!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


The number of patients we saw today in a three hour window. Crazy morning. The nurses looked like they were going to pull their hair out. Can't say I blame them. This is a record. 

Oh well, that is why we get paid right?!?!? Ha, ha. Sooo speaking of being paid. I cannot wait until Friday. My dearest husband forgot his government credit card when he was on travel last week to NY and he forgot all of his emergency CC's too. So he charged everything on our bank card. We'll get the $ back but until then we have 57 bucks left in our checking account! And... I need gas. Plus I think EZ pass is going to pull $75.00 this week too - since I've been using it like crazy for work. PLUSSSSS, day care is due tomorrow at $140.00 - see yesterdays tangent. Hmm time to transfer money from savings again. Sometimes I wonder why I even put the money in savings in the first place. :)

Saturday, January 21, 2012


That is the number of patients our clinic saw this morning from 7-10am. That is only about 35 more than the supposed average. K and I (K is my weekend co-worker & I love working with her) talked with one of the sonographers and she mentioned that she thinks "they" are going to have to extend our weekend hours to accommodate so many patients. I think that is a a definite possibility, so I volunteered to work the extended hours. If it is at all possible (i.e. they haven't filled my part time slot yet) then I would just cut a few hours during the week. (like Monday afternoons!) The best part - finger crossed it works out - it would save us $140 a week in day care! Yes it really does cost that much here, thank you Fairfax County and half day Mondays!

Tangent: The high-schoolers and middle-schoolers do no get out until 3:00. Grades K-6 get out at 12:50. So a teenager after school sitter is out of the question. Currently we need a baby sitter on Mondays from 12:50-4:00 and T-F from 3:45-4:00. I kid you not. $140 a week for 4 hours of day care! We are on the wait lists for the after school program run by the school system but even that is on a sliding scale and we are now at the top. $575.00 per month. So currently 140*52/12= $606 a month. Crazy huh?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Dear Caller

Dear Fertility Center Caller,

Thanks so much for calling me and explaining that your wife has been on top for over three months and yet she is still not pregnant. I understand that as you put it "We have the sex and still she not working" and we would be happy to assist you. I also understand that you are a former patient and would like to start a new cycle. You will need to meet with your doctor for a consult. Your explanation of your last semen anaylasis was sufficiant. I appreciate your colorfulness. "I had the organic exer-rack-ulation in the mug" explains that yes you have had a recent test of your little swimmers. Perfect. Your all set up.

Good Luck, and thank you for making me end my day with a smile.

Sincerely the ever diligent worker.

*** Just a side note. I so need to come up with a nick name for my new job. I am having a blast every day listening to these poor men try to explain things. Women in general are so clinical when they call. The men just put it all out there. A total riot!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Good, The Bad, & The BORING!

Holy Mother of GOD have the past two days been dull. It is no surprise that people are not warm and fuzzy here, they are stiff, polite, but oddly distant, but man I did not know how dull a day in an office can be when no one seems to put any effort into the niceties. Politeness is good but seriously boring. The scoop:

I worked the last two days in a different hospital than the one I will be working in full time for training purposes. It seems that a few of these girls get "stuck" training other employees all the time. Great, so I am loved from the start. Anyway, all of them, even the supervisors are constantly on their cell phones. So when there is down time, and there certainly is a LOT of down time in that office, you cannot get to know one another or get the dirt on anyone else. Not that I want to be a gossip, but geez anything would have been better than watching other people play on their iPhones. Like watching paint dry.

Today around 11:00 I just couldn't take it anymore and volunteered to work in the call center. Obviously I am an idiot. Obviously. I figured I'd be making a bunch of appointments and transferring a few calls to a nurse. Right, that was so little of the job that I hardly learned anything I needed too. I just kept getting complete lunatics on the phone. One woman was swearing up one side and another that she'd been seen there before and needed a follow up. After five minutes I still couldn't find her in the system and desperately asked if she was positive she'd been seen at the fertility clinic. Her answer "Oh, no, this isn't Montgomery General?" Seriously? I answered the phone with our hospital name and the word FERTILITY is in it! 

Then the last call of the day; a woman wanted to know the nursing supervisors name. I ask her to hold, get the info and let her know but then she wants to know my supervisor and the supervisors supervisor and who runs the donor team and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. At first it seemed like a totally normal call but then she kept saying "We are having a communication problem are you there?" And then she would repeat the same questions. Eventually I just had to ask another girl to take the call. I just didn't have enough knowledge about the whole hierarchy to help her. Actually it ended up being the best part of the day. At least that call was entertaining. It ended up going to our highest supervisor and from the sounds of it even she was having trouble helping.

One more day of training in that office and then I head to my official spot in Virginia. Thank the LORD! Honestly I am thankful that I have a job and I do like the parts I have learned so far - it has potential. Plus I am sure I will get a lot of entertainment out of it in the months to come. One funny note: I have never said the words, sperm, ejaculation, and masturbation so much in one day (let alone a year!) in my life. By the end of the day I could almost say them with out cracking up.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Starting Monday

I cannot believe that I start my new job on Monday. It seemed like it was going to be forever until I started and surprise it is here. I would have thought I'd be busy cleaning, cooking, preparing, but nope, I was actaully bored today. I ran around doing a few errands, met S for lunch, walked to dog, talked to my mommy, and now I am hanging out watching Ellen. (Hilarious BTW) All proof that I am more than ready to go back to work during the day. :P) I hope I still feel like that at the end of next week. 

C has been giving me an earful about going to an after school program. My feeling, TOUGH. In the past I felt completely guilty about sending him to daycare. This time around, not so much. We found a good program, close to home, expensive but convenient, with caring providers and lots of fun things to do. He is lucky. I refuse to parent with guilt and remorse. Sometimes it is on your heart to stay home through grade school or later and sometimes it isn't. This time around we set up a great schedule and both of us (i.e. the parents) are ready. Obviously this is just a pep talk for myself.


Thursday, January 12, 2012

I Heart My New Car

It is so pretty. It is so nice, smooth ride & everything works; all the doors, all the windows, all the locks, and all three rows fold flat without getting stuck! (well except the driver seat, that doesn't fold, hee, hee) 

And now we have my old one to sell. Hopefully that is pretty painless, my neighbor is really interested, although I sort of hope her interest doesn't stick. If something goes wrong with the car I do not want to feel responsible. Full disclosure or all the gritty details- but still you never know what the future holds. :P)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Test Driving & Shitty Salesmen

First lets start by saying I bought a new car today. Oh Yeah Baby! But also lets just say that it was such an annoying process and I have had an entertaining afternoon leaving feedback on customer service surveys. Let's just look at the highlights:

The Chevy Aveo
  • Dick of a salesmen
  • Left me in a the car for almost 15 minutes while he searched for a gate tag to get out of the lot. Didn't even leave the keys in the car for me to listen to the radio, turn the heat on or off, or roll down the windows. Also he parked horribly near a carwash entrance and at least 20 people who worked there were giving me the hairy eyeball.
  • When I said I didn't like the car he said that is because it was too compact. So I asked to test drive the Malibu next.
  • Told me not to buy an piece of American crap

The Chevy Malibu
  • Same flipping salesman
  • Same great demeanor, when we were pulling out of the lot  he told me to "watch out for that cop" - I was at a stop sign and it was my turn, why would I watch out???
  • Horribly small trunk opening
The Ford Fusion
  • Next Dealership, cool car but pricey
  • Asshole salesman who asked me two different times "Why you not buy today?" Really, isn't English required to sell me a car. I don't speak Fragmented Asshole.
  • The Asshole kind of smelled
  • I asked if they had any older models with better prices he replied "I check when you bring your husband back"
  • I LEFT!
The Hyundai Santa Fe
  • Next Dealership
  • Test drive with salesman whom seems nice enough
  • When the drive is over I mention that the car smell of cigarettes and ask if there is something similar like a Toyota Rav4  that doesn't smell
  • He didn't like my attitude. He said "You shouldn't be so abrupt, this is a great car for the money, nothing some detailing couldn't fix." and I said "Then that should have already been taken care of"
  • I LEFT!
Toyota Rav4
  • Yet another dealership
  • Nice car! Expensive car.
  • Pretty normal test drive except the guy didn't want me to go on the highway where I wanted to go. West has a higher speed limit and I wanted to see how the car handled. 
  • When I asked him if I could hit a pothole to see how it felt the man cringed, I laughed and said "I am only kidding, how about a few speed bumps?" I was serious, he wasn't amused.
Volvo CX90
  • The Winner
  • New Dealership
  • They didn't ask to see my license, they didn't ask my mother's maiden name, or for an arm and a leg
  • They let me test all the cars I wanted all by myself
  • When I asked if I could hit a pot hole the guy answered "There are several out back"
  • When I asked if they could move on the price ... They did!
  • The man never had to go talk to a boss or ask someone else for help
  • He never asked me about my husband or made any comments about me buying my own car
  • I found the one I wanted, negotiated a fair deal, got a few perks - like extra maintenance and a longer warranty at no cost to me and walked out a  happy girl.
  • I signed the paperwork to have the car and price on hold for me until tomorrow. Unless I wake up full of dread and regret the car is mine and I can go pick it up. (S and I have an agreement there - we always sleep on the idea, sure has saved us from a lot of mistakes.)

Monday, January 9, 2012

Winds Blow

Tides are turning, slowly. The husband is trying and I certainly appreciate it. 

Work is good. This weekend we had a patient that almost made me cry - just because she was so upset. I felt so bad for her. Hopefully I said the right things to comfort her a little. Other than that one thing everything else went smoothly. There is still no exact work on when I start. It feels like a lifetime away but really that isn't a bad thing. It gives my family time to ease into things. This morning was S's first day of bus stop duty and I gotta tell my future self, it was pretty funny. The man really didn't know how to make a school lunch or to tell an 8 yr old to wear a coat when it is 27 degrees out. But I helped out and everyone made it to where they were going , group effort style. Family Style. 

So speaking of family style, on Saturday we decided to have a family game night. We pulled out all the board games we got for Christmas and started to assemble. U-build connect four was absolutely CRAZY and although fun in the end a little hard to play without having to constantly chasing after rouge checkers. We apologize to anyone we sent this game to - sometimes the games just look so cool. We also put together Statego which was certainly one of my favorites as a kid. This game is a really good game for C. He loved it and we ended up leaving it on the table and playing all weekend. Thank you J, K & not so baby A.

Good times were had by all ;=)

Thursday, January 5, 2012


Today has proven to be quite productive and somewhat annoying. Let's just start out with the disclaimer, I love my husband. He is kind, loving, supporting, generous, and so on and so on. All that being said, he is really on my nerves. Why on earth does everything have to be over analyzed and beat to a pulp? It is just life people, just life. There are times when I just do not understand the compulsion to understand every detail in every corner of every minute detail that pertains to you!

Deep breath. 

Recently S put in for a job in England. He heard back today that they did not choose him. I am so relieved. Really, if he'd gotten it I would have been excited, but on the other hand I feel like I am just starting to gain momentum here and the selfish part of me is glad we are not headed across the pond. But I digress, he calls to tell me this information and he is a little bummed out, understandably, but he just keeps harping on the "why". Really? It was on the equal list, and Air Force wide job opening list. That means every one else who fit the requirements was up for the job too. Someone else probably had a year on him and hadn't ever been overseas. It isn't like it is rocket science to draw that conclusion. But NOOOO, he wants to call over to the job site and ask why he wasn't chosen, email them to let him know if there are anymore openings, see what he can change so he can get picked for these assignments, and as previously pointed out beat the damn thing into the ground. I would so mark this in the "Oh Well" category of life. I just don't get it. 

Deep breath, Diet Coke.

Meanwhile I have been on the phone all morning trying to procure daycare for C when I go back to work. I got the call yesterday with the official offer and benefit information. I start in the next two weeks. I was so excited and still am, but finding care is turning out to be rough. Plus I get the impression that my husband doesn't really want to help. That sucks. Before I even applied for the job I talked to him about the hours and asked if he could work with that. He says yes, but then doesn't really seem like he means it. Yesterday as we were discussing the after school care I offered up a scenario and he agreed that it was worth a try, but then totally went back on saying yes after explaining that he misunderstood. Okay... But then still he had no real ideas himself that involved him helping. And he said like three times "Well I still need to go to the gym". Yeah - I get it, your important too! I offered probably seven or eight different ideas and he just kept saying things like "we'll see" and "I need to go the gym". Really?? How about I am going back to work and you need to just step up and move your schedule around a little bit, go into work later, go to the gym during work hours at the end of the day (that is totally allowed in the USAF) and we will just eat dinner a little later and cut back on a few TV programs to make time for other stuff. I am not asking the world. I am asking that he go to work for 8:00 and leaves at 4:30, goes to the gym and leaves around 5:30 or 6:00. And BTW just to let you know, it was never mention that I would get to go to the gym or have any time to workout what so ever it was all about him. But you know, "we'll see". Right, come by our neighborhood around 4:30 in the fucking morning, you'll see me walking the dog, that will just have to do.

Here I am trying to fit it all together and he is so selfishly acting like the world revolves around him. I swear there is no consideration for the things that I put high on the priority list. For crying out loud, he'll spend half the day whining about not getting an assignment he wanted and over analyzing every detail about it but won't take ten minutes to look up possible day cares or ask around at work if anyone else has a provider they like. And just to be clear - I am really mad at him. He promised me if I went back to work this time would be different. He promised. So far - we're right on the same track. I become responsible for everything and he becomes responsible only for the bare minimum.

I'll be cleaning and making more phone calls if you need me. I have already managed to get a ton of laundry done  amongst the daily things. But man it feels good to let all this out. I really do love my husband. I just wish that today he'd left work at work. Well better get back on the horn. Apparently there is some martial  arts place that offers busing from school in the afternoon for kids at C's school. We'll just see how expensive that one is, although at this point know one else has an opening anyway.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Countdowns & Other Rantings

The Countdowns continue. Although December is the month of which we shall not speak of in that regard. YIKES.

Other ramblings:

  • I realize I am mad at IVF. I let it totally control me last year and it didn't even work. I am going to try to resolve that one - but it is buried kind of deep. I suppose that is why I like my job. I have a chance to make someone's cycle a little more bearable.
  • I haven't really heard officially if I have the full time position at said job yet,  but they did tell me they want to move forward after every one gets back from Vacation. (they are a little poky over in HR :))
  • My sister, husband, and I are doing another weight loss challenge. This one is going until March. Should be fun. This one is double or nothing. {We did one before Christmas but didn't have time to cash in the prize}
  • I need to send out thank you cards
  • I need to go grocery shopping
  • I need to recolor my gray
  • I wonder when you start to go gray in other places as compared to your head ... 
  • Biggest Looser is back - and I am so hooked. This season promises to be horribly staged - right up my alley. 
  • Vampire Diaries is very yummy. I am on season two and totally loving it.
  • Massachusetts was entertaining. A good Christmas for sure - we're just glad to be home. In fact everything about the holiday was pretty perfect other than us running out of time to visit with everyone.