Monday, November 30, 2009

November - Make it Disapear!

Holy Crap.

What more can one person take in a month? I tell ya - I am loosing it. Between the in-law battle, C doing crappy in school, the Thanksgiving traffic, bills, life in general, and now today - ERRRR.

Today it is rainy and cold. It was also the first day of one more tutoring program we were able to sign C up for. The teacher and the school sent home multiple notices that C can take the bus home and will be dropped off at 1:35 pm and if we are not there he will be returned to school and if this happens three times he will be kicked out of the program. So today I hike over to the bus stop at 1:25, just to be safe. The rain started to pick up and before I knew it the dog was soaked and time seemed to stand still. Then two different school buses went by and I started to get a little worried. Then a daycare bus went in the direction of the school and then ten minutes later returned. That is when I got really scared. Where the heck was my son? I ran back to the house. It is 1/10 of a mile - not far at all, but certainly if I am down the street the bus driver will not drop him off. So I ran fast and then went inside only to see it was 2:05! I called the school and they weren't even certain C was there. They kept saying some parents have already called because their kids weren't there either. I had to interrupt the lady and say "yes, but is my son C.W. there?" and the lady tells me to hold while she checks. Then she gets on the phone and says "Oh yes DJ has just walked in the door." I was livid at this point and quite curtly said "Is my son C.W. there? He is not DJ." The lady apologized and said he was and then added that she thinks the bus was a few minutes early because four kids came back and she thinks this because the first stop's kid was absent and the bus got an early start. I complained saying that it was more than a few minutes early. The stop was in my sight 10 minutes prior and then I added that they should inform the parents if the bus is going to be early and then call us immediately when they are returned to the school. I hung up and grabbed my keys. Then I proceeded to cry the entire way to the school.

C didn't really care, but I did. I told the school he won't be taking the Monday bus again and they seemed offended. After all they had to pull some strings to get the late bus to stop on our street after the tutoring program. But - who cares? I am not taking chances like that with my child. What if the weather was worse and he had to be on the bus even longer? What if .... there are endless possibilities that I don't like the thought of. I am really angry with the school. Is this program really worth it? He gets home on Monday's normally at 1:05. It is only an extra 30 minutes and plus if the bus gets an "early" start - how much time is he actually working extra? I have my doubts about this.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Not Sooooo Bad

I am in Massachusetts and actually heading up to bed in a few, but really I just wanted to waste even more time doing nothing before relenting and admitting that vacation is really over. Also I am addicted to Mafia Wars on Facebook and need to wait to earn more energy on the darn game. (pathetic I know)

L wasn't so bad this time around. I enjoyed our visit the other day and could tell she was making an effort to be more positive. It was a stretch, but she did try.

Thanksgiving was pleasant and quite calm. The food was really good. This is a stretch for me to admit because I really don't like this holiday food. I always feel sick after and don't really care for Turkey. I use to like it but then about five or six years ago I made a turkey for a holiday and it was great. I sliced off the breast meat and the legs and left the rest in the pan. Later that day when we started to clean up we realized that the center of the bird was frozen solid. We had six people eating the other parts of the turkey and no one else got sick. But, I had to call them all and tell them and I was really embarrassed and felt terrible. I was really puking sick the next day and haven't really enjoyed any style of holiday food since - except of course desert.

In other news, I am really tired. We never get any sleep while we are here. It is always go go go. Thanksgiving, black Friday shopping, visiting and even today - we went to a wedding reception, also very nice and then after went to my sisters for games and an awesome dinner, now almost midnight and I am just starting to wind down.

Oh well, home sweet home, not so bad this time around - Worcester might loose it's 'destination' only tag if it isn't careful.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Assholes

I cannot stand them. There it is said. My stomach is in knots over it and now I am remembering why I banned the Massachusetts Holiday Season. My in-laws are assholes.

They made is quite clear that they don't think we should come home and or don't want us there. The comments, the suggestions, the excuses, and the lies - they can keep them all. I cannot believe my family four pack is less crazy! My mother who can't tell a straight tale, my sister whose paying for an education that is making itself very hard to pay her back, my father whose know it all attitude still hasn't helped him get a job to support his education and me - a barren mess are all more sane and nice and polite and kind.

I try so hard to please them, to make them happy, to help them enjoy our time together and it is all for nothing. I am so tired of L being miserable and us being the ones who have to be understanding. I am so tired of D just going along with anything L wants. It is crazy - they are crazy. There isn't much I can do about it, but I tell you our passive natures are fading when it comes to this situation.

S told L and D that we would be going our cousin's wedding reception. (I am wicked excited about it - but somehow they have managed to ruin some of that excitement too) Anyway S explained that although we were all going we would not be driving with them because after the reception we are going to visit my sister and cousin. (very much looking forward to that too!) And L told him "well, I'm not surprised you won't be going with us." No good tidings, no - hope you enjoy - no too bad we wanted to drive out there with you to visit - no hey sounds great or that's right M has a new apartment hope you have fun - we got a wise ass comment and D said nothing. They disgust me lately. It probably doesn't sound all that bad taken out of the context that is our relationship with them - but I assure me and anyone else who remotely cares - it is only the tip of a cold iceberg.

Since the summer visit our contact with them has gone from at least once a week to maybe every three - and that is only because S calls. They have called only a few times since then. One day I assume they will just stop answering the phone and that will be the end of it. I can't imagine what we ever did or why we are worth so much disappointment and anguish to them. From my side we look like pretty awesome kids to have. We've been together since we were kids, we married after their son finished a college degree, we adopted our son five years into our marriage, we call, we write, we never forget a birthday, we invite them always, and include them in our lives, we've reach out to them in times of need and support, we've prayed for their needs and supported them. We never call and ask for money or favors. We attend the same church they raised their son in and we are raising our son the same way. Where did we go wrong? Misery loves company and we aren't obliging company I suppose.

Happy Holidays Assholes. No hard feelings, just know that I know. I know about your asshole feelings, your asshole mindset, your asshole beliefs, your asshole comments, your asshole perceptions, your asshole Christian attitude that suits you when you need it to, your asshole judgment, and your asshole guilt. I know all about it, assholes. Well you know what you can kiss - you can kiss mine.

Obviously I will be praying for forgiveness and the saving of my soul for the above outburst.

The Update

A lot has happened in the last few days. In general I am surprised at how much catches me off guard still. I am a smart girl, why can't I anticipate the unpleasant? Why can't I see the forest through the trees when I need too? Am I the only one? Here as usual is the long winded rundown:

  1. My Grandfather is doing okay. He has a bacterial infection in his blood and it has spread through his body. On Friday the doctors unplugged him from all antibiotics and just "made him comfortable" suggesting he wouldn't make it through the weekend. He defied logic and made it through to Saturday. In fact on Saturday he felt better and looked a lot better so the doctors hooked him back up to "curing" drugs and changed his prognosis to a long term care facility. Our family was very hopeful. Scott and I promised Grampa we'd take him to a ballgame in the spring and my sister promised him she'd see him at Christmas. Then on Sunday Grampa seemed worse, a little confused and very week from all the visitors the previous day. We are all hopeful he makes it through the Holidays, it is really his wish too.
  2. When we were in Jersey visiting S and I both had an epiphany. It put at ease about one decision we had to make. S has been contemplating staying in the USAF and, any follower knows, I wasn't too excited about it. In fact I was wishing he'd change his mind. His job makes close to six figures on the outside, and our insurance from the USAF doesn't cover a major procedure that we desperately need. But then the epiphany: Gramma paid for dinner the night we all visited my Grandfather. Her husband was in the hospital with number days, she's facing the idea of being a widow, but she wasn't worried about the house, money, bank accounts, or lack there of. Grampa is retired Military and has been in the hospital since the 8th of November. There will be no copay, there will be no bill, there will be no procedure uncovered. The money certainly would be nice now, but the insurance and pensions are unbeatable in the long run. S re-upped yesterday.
  3. My in-laws are assholes. Selfish and mean. We don't understand and we certainly do not want to at this point. They have a great ability to ruin our faith in family. Assholes. There could be more on it - but I am too upset over it. I wish they would just stop. What did we ever do to them? So sorry we are ruining their holiday plans by coming home. I'll go into later.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Over the River

and through the woods its of to gramma's house we go...

This morning on my way to work I called my mother. I knew something was wrong the second she paused a hello. It went something like this:

" ........... hello."
"Hey Ma - what's wrong?"
"Grampa is dying I'm packing for Jersey right now, dad is on his way home - he's driving"

There was no leading up to the bad news softly or easily it was just laid out like it is. For this I admire my mother. We talked for a few and agreed I'd call my sister and she'd call my cousin and we'd talk in a few. So I called M and completely lead up to the bad news with "well, I am calling with some not so good news, you know grampa has been sick for a long time and has been in the hospital for over a week now ..." We talk - she agrees to call him at the hospital right away and then my cousins calls and by now everyone is crying and we are all calling each other back and forth - it was ridiculous. The more we talked the more upset each of us got. The only one of us that had any brains was my sister who although sad and crying managed to call grampa to tell him she loved him and would see him at Christmas.

We are leaving in the morning to visit him in the hospital. He is a very sick man who has been quite frail for about five years since he had a stroke. Over the last year every time he coughed to hard or said he felt weak my mother thought he was dying. She hasn't missed a birthday, an anniversary or one chance to see them - every time she gets two days off in a row she is flying over the Tapenzee in her Hyundai trying to get there as fast as possible. But I haven't ever felt that way, the need to hurry up and get there - just in case. But this time it is different, blood tests show his kidney's are failing due to a toxic blood infection and the medical staff cannot stop the infection. They warned my grandmother that when the infection gets to his artificial valve in his heart he will not make it.

I am sad but almost distant from it. I haven't ever been close to anyone who died. My great grandmother, two great aunts, and an uncle passed away all fairly close together - and I do miss them, but it isn't the same. I never went to their funerals or was asked too. I never really felt a huge loss and was able to pray for their soles and say they lead good lives. This one is going to knock the wind out of my sails, I can already feel it.

On my refrigerator is a blue piece of paper. I wrote all over it last year during Thanksgiving. Each time I went into the kitchen I jotted down something new my grandfather had told me. He was almost giddy with pride as he told us stories of his families first car, his cousins, stories his father shared with him about when he was a little boy, and plenty more memories. It was a really special time. I better read over my doctor handwriting and ask any questions.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

ABC's & XYZ's

Well it has been a week since C started tutoring and since we've been practicing phonics at home; I do see a slight improvement. I have also pinpointed his weakness, which I am wondering why his teacher didn't see it. In her defense she has 25 kids to worry about, not one.

C's problem lies in sounding out words. Looking back on his work it all looks like he has no idea what he is doing. Letters are everywhere, and there isn't a word that is even close to ... well, being a word. That is until detective Mom broke the code. We've been working on word spacing and the importance of writing all in one row. Those things he really needs practice with. But the cracked code lies in his phonics. He identifies the first sound and goes through the word piece by piece, but he only writes down the more prominent beginning and ending sounds. Suddenly I am able to decipher the work C has done. When I was able to read his story last night he got so excited. I could see his face light up and he was so proud that he actually did something right. His words were Bubgum - chocolat - mi - I - fs - gv -had. He spelled had and I right. I was impressed with his bubblegum and chocolate, and thrilled that I figured out fs was friends, mi was my, and gv was give because when I read those back to him his face just light up.

When C and I finished the work I talked to him about middle sounds. He was pensive over it for a few and then said - "Okay, can I play video games now?" and off he went. A little while later he came back to me and said, mom can I fix my story. I jumped at the chance, dropping the chore of dirty dishes (like I need convincing there) and got his work out of his backpack. He looked over his story and squeezed in a few middle sounds like a r in friends and a i in give. I didn't' hover too much and just let him work. I was bursting with pride.

This morning C had tutoring before school. I asked him if he was looking forward to it. He replied "Oh sure, I am pretty smart so I'll get this stuff soon." I started to cry. I am such a girl.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My Dress

I found the best dress. Yippppeeeeee. It matches my green retro dress coat and is perfect for Thanksgiving and my Christmas play. Plus I had enough $ in my store account to pay for it. Actually I had to buy two becuase it is online and I couldn't tell what size. I wear a 16 dress, but the sizes were 14/16 - that might be too small and the 16/18 might be too big - but the store has a free return policy, so I can send back the one that doesn't fit.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Riddle Me This ...

OTH - seriously I am still angered by the entire Payton and Lucas exit strategy, the network must have felt the burn of that because they actually mentioned them a few weeks ago in an episode - my God they didn't fall of the face of the planet - they just aren't there, imagine that. So I was on my way to dropping the program from my DVR list. In fact on occasion I fast forwarded the entire episode only briefly playing the Brook and Julian story line.

Then a few weeks ago something happened - one they mentioned P & L and brought some validity back to the story lines - two they actually had a story line - and three they managed to show that some of the new characters can actually act (a little scary since they act better than a few veterans - (sorry Hales - your facial expressions are the worst!) So here I am all caught up in the new heart throb's love life and wondering why I even care about it.

Not that this week was particularly cutting edge -in fact is was actually a little dry and predictable. No one has had a drug addiction in a while so they threw that bone to Millie, Brook found out she's not pregnant and revealed this week that she can't have kids - whatever - it isn't that easy to find that out and the doctors never say never even if it is the ugly disgusting, horrific, truth - I should know - but I digress. Mouth's character is just watching Millie fall apart and Dan is back with his new wife and former classmate of Nathan (this year's main, main character) Rachel. Blah, blah, blah. Life isn't that crazy or lusty or incestuous - and to think this show replaced my Joey and Dawson love affair - which by the end I was totally on board with Pacey. Wow - I think way too much about TV.

Speaking of Dawson's Creek - that actually replaced my 90210 obsession. Which started with my obsession of lust between a drunken teen, Dylan and Midwest smart ass, Brenda. Lust, lust, lust. By the time Dawson came around 90210 was on it's last legs - everyone was out of high school, college, and way into their careers - most of the main characters were gone and I think they were starting to have kids??? Some shows really need to end in their prime.

Moving on, or back: As I was watching OTH tonight I actually felt like crap. All these people intertwined living dream lives with dream bodies and great hair - even their problems seem self imposed and easy to solve. It is just a soap opera that runs once a week instead of five. They are all successful, all grew up to do what they wanted to do in their careers and they all have money - how strange. I am no where near where I wanted to be at 30 and I am 32.

Either I am tired, drunk from Diet Coke, or just PMSing somehow - but I swear seeing some stupid show about stupid people is really bugging me. Well - actually if I just take a step back I can see where the issue lies, anytime anyone suggests anything with pregnancy I flip out. In fact life is kind of sucky in that department right now. Kind of might be putting it lightly - and here after twenty minutes of writing about unimportant TV story lines I get to the point ...

Scott is re-enlisting next Monday. I hate it. It isn't fair. I don't want him too. If he stays in, that is it - were in for the 20. This enlistment will put him at 15 years by the time it ends. It make logical sense - it is good for his career - it is good for retirement and life time health insurance. Common sense wise it is a no brainer. But as good as the insurance is, it doesn't cover IVF and we are going to be paying for the last two attempts for a few years. And years even just months are an enemy to any IVFer. If we lived in Massachusetts we'd be covered - it is the state law. And people wonder why I always vote Democrat when I live in a republican world - HA. I want to go home. Stupid TV show. S and I talked about this but there isn't anything we can really do - it is almost as if we are just watching ourselves through a little snow globe - one that has been shaken too many times. I think he's almost numb to it. It isn't fair - we both know it, and he is just doing his best to continue with the good.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

You Never Know Just How Filthy Your House Is ...

until your husband attempts to cook.

This morning S made breakfast. He didn't have the exhaust fan on and proceeded to cook bacon, eggs and burnt pancakes. First the fire alarms went off. The first ones were just little beeps, no biggie. Then the load ones kicked in and then the house alarm started in with a piercing noise that also had a voice yelling FIRE there is SMOKE AND FIRE EVACUATE. Is scared S so much the first time it went off that he dropped a pan that had grease in it on a burner and some flames went up. Finally we go all the windows and doors open, the fans on, and the detectors turned off. However I was stuck with my hands over the speakers on the house alarm because it was so loud. The golfers on the course behind the house were starting to stare and one guy was even squinting and putting his hand over his eyes trying to see in our house! LOL - what a sight we must have been. Finally I realized that the alarm was connected to a small motion detector in the other room and had S jump in and keep the alarm covered and I grabbed a broom and started waving it in front of the mini motion detector. Finally after five minutes of blaring noise we could breath. It was crazy!

Eventually we sit down to breakfast and S says "well hunny, I wanted you to sleep late, relax, feel refreshed and not have to worry about the cooking, so enjoy" We both were laughing pretty good at that. In the end the meal was pretty good and we had a nice family breakfast together - which doesn't happen all that often, so I was thankful. After breakfast I ventured upstairs and watched TV - trying to dull a pounding headache. The headache wasn't a result of all the alarms, I actually woke up with it - it is all from my darn jaw.

Anyway... during the day we went shopping. We didn't buy a darn thing, which wasn't the point of shopping, but oh well. Once we got home I noticed everything smelled like bacon and opened a few windows back up - then and settled in and I called my sister. That is when I noticed that the breakfast dishes never got done. YUCK. So I start loading the dishwasher, taking the trash out and picking up the bacon bits left on the counter. Then I noticed that the floor was slippery. Yup, slippery. So when I got off the phone with M, my sister, I took a closer look. It was grease from the bacon! It wasn't just on the kitchen floor it was everywhere - on the counters, the cabinets, it had been tracked into the living room, dining room and the the windows all had a layer of filth on them as well.

GROSS. S cooked the bacon on a flat griddle pan with no cover, which started smoking and the fat was crackling and then the smoke got thicker and thicker and wafted through the house settling on every surface imaginable. I am so thankful that the doors to the bedrooms and the computer room were closed. I got the floors mopped, I went over them three times and may have to go over them once again tomorrow. I wiped down all the cabinets with Spic and Span and peeled off the layer that formed under the stove fan / vent thingy. I got most of the film off the counters and the dining room chairs. I also put down some carpet refresher and baking soda on the carpets and vacuumed those - hopefully I won't smell burnt bacon in the morning when I wake up. At the moment I smell nothing but my dogs raunchy fart - so I am gagging and might possibly keel over in agony any minute.

I saved the windows for tomorrow. What a darn mess. I think in the right conditions we could have had a real fire. I cannot believe we didn't smell it when we were here this morning.

To my dear husband, No more cooking. We'll have cereal when I sleep in. It is okay - really - please - we're good. No more. Thank you, your loving wife.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I know I'm Lucky!

Oh man what an exciting and slightly embarrassing few days!

First, I won two tickets to see one of my favorite main stream bands One Republic at a private showing for 50 people at an Italian Resturant. They are touring with Rob Thomas and just stopped in for an interview with Jack Diamond and a record promotion. It was awesome. Really - I am so excited about it still and it has been more than twenty four hours since the show. Here is the quick run down:

I knew I was going to win something. I normally do. The first time I went to Vegas I knew I was going to win big, and I did, I couldn't lose. Once when I was kid my mom took us to a picnic and there was a raffle for prizes the tickets cost like five bucks - which was a lot more then than it is now, so we made a deal if I won great, enjoy but if I lost I owed her five bucks. I won a 1.00 kite - LOL. Another time at a Christmas party I knew I'd win the door prize. Everyone got a free ticket for coming and then you could buy extras. Scott asked me if I wanted more, and I just said no, this one is a winner, and I won a two night stay at a resort hotel - funny thing was it was in California only about 15 miles from our base??? So we went just to use the pool and all night the fire alarms were going off - I don't even remember if we stayed the night or left - LOL. So my point - sometimes I know when I am going to win something and sometimes it doesn't really turn out to be exactly what I thought or so great and other times it is the best thing ever.

So last week I was listening to one of my favorite radio stations at work and they announced that if you are the 10th caller when they play their song of the day then you win 1000.00. I was like "oh yeah, I am going to win that before Christmas" and I logged onto their website to get their phone number and entered their loyal listeners contest page. I have the radio on ALL day anyway so why not. I programmed their number into my cell and went back to work. So for the rest of the week and Monday of this week I logged on found the song of the day and listened away. I never got to be caller ten. But heck - I've got until December 24th right? So then on Monday night I get this call, from the radio station saying that I won tickets to their special luncheon with One Republic! I was freaking out. I called my friend and begged her to get a sitter and come with ... well, I don't think I actually had to twist her arm, Once she you tubed them she knew who they were. LOL.

So there it is the longest possible version of how I won a few tickets to a really cool event. We got to meet the band, albeit very quickly for a picture and autograph photos. We were served a free lunch and just enjoyed being there for a few short hours.

But this isn't' the lucky story. You know come to think of it I haven't done anything all that embarrassing lately. In fact I might have been challenging my record. Might of been being the operative word...

I have these great Old Navy Jeans. They are size 12 and I wear a 14 or 16 depending on the style. So needless to say I LOVE my size size 12 Mediums. Funny but they always fall down. In fact yesterday when my friend A met me at my house before the show I mentioned to her that I just wanted to wear my other jeans because these 12's wouldn't stay up. So I changed quick in my family room where there was a pile of clean laundry. I threw the 12's on top and off we went. Anyway this morning I got around to putting those jeans away and I noticed something funny. There is an adjustable waist band hidden inside just like the ones on kids jeans. Now I have had these jeans for at least two months and worn them plenty of times and somehow I never noticed this. I think because the elastic was lost inside the lining. So I fished it out of the lining and adjust them - I had to pull the belt thing all the way to the last loops to get them to stay up right. After my discovery I took them off (I tried them on once I found the adjustable waist) and was pretty happy with myself until I looked at the tag more carefully. Old Navy 12M. Yes my friends that would be Maternity not Medium. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or bust out laughing. I know I am lucky - only me. How on earth did I miss this? How would I know that Old Navy has Maternity clothes? Why would they be on the clearance rack in the regular sizes and why on earth were they only 9.99? Well that is easy - they thought the elastic was missing. So ... do I still wear them - or should I just list them on my eBay store and call it a day. Yeah - the store I know. But man these jeans are perfect! LOL - really only me.

Okay off to bed - and to check to see if I have any other size 12M, 14M, or 16M's for that matter.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Nope - Not Jesus

Things are crazy here. Nightmares, Dentists, Bills - Oh MY! But I'll stick to what is on my mind currently - which I already emailed to on of my newer BFF's - sorry for the redundancy there - but you know I am still a little ticked. LOL - Only me.

I am not exactly enamored with my boss. G is not only a putts but sort of an ass. He calls me out on every infraction. Even asking if I could write bigger on deposit forms. He is so nit picky that I am seriously considering finding another job. G asked me to check email daily - and it is causing so much stress. Today he emailed me and asked me why I didn't enter a state ID number in our payroll system after I said I did- then he went on to ask if I faxed anything and to who. I emailed back that there was a misunderstanding, I never said I did it and I did in fact email him with details as to why not and no I didn't fax anything because it is a non issue. I have yet to check for a response; but I don't like it. He really is asking for a lot from a girl who works for half pay for 10 hours a week. Plus I swear he is so middle eastern it is sickening sometimes. Last Wednesday he was three hours late for work and explained that he had the children. I said, you're the boss, you are allowed to stay home with the kids with out an explanation and I sort of laughed. He jumped back with "OH no, we have a nanny - I do NOT have to stay with kids" it was crazy. Some men just think they are so manly! To prove my point another middle eastern guy almost killed himself today just to get out of being helped by a women ...

C and I went to the post office today. On the way home I was stopped at a red light and looked to my left. There was this guy standing on the top rung of a ladder, leaning towards a building with a screw driver. The ladder was wobbling and I notice only one on the those levers that go across from the back to the front of the ladder and lock were actually locked into place, the other was only half down and the top step, which he was standing on as mentioned was bent or bowed almost to a 45 degree angle under his weight! I almost screamed out the window, then I noticed that I had room to make a hard left and go into the parking lot and help him. So I did it as fast as I could and jumped out of my car. I yelled up to the idiot "Hello - would you let me help you by holding this ladder?" and he said "NO" then I said "are you sure this looks pretty unsafe, like you are going to fall?" and he yelled "NO _ THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN BUT I NEED NO HELP!" I said "I am sorry you feel that way - BE CAREFUL!" and I got back in my car and left. C was just in awe saying "Mom what were you doing" and I replied "Obviously not being Jesus". I was really angered by this man. I was also very concerned and could do nothing.

And speaking of doing nothing - I wrote about the Herndon honeymoon period being over ... well more proof. Saturday night we were driving down the main street and I saw this man stand in the A formation stance like he was shooting a gun facing a car with the window down. The were all yelling and screaming but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I was going to lean on the horn but just then they all started laughing and the guy backed up - he didn't have a gun. I was so petrified. After all I thought we moved away from the danger of DC. Am I just paranoid now?

I just want out and now, S is re-enlisting for another 4, which will put him at 15. I guess that means we are officially lifers. I am sick over it. I didn't really realize just how much until I left a parking lot today wondering if a man was going to fall to his death or not.

What a Nightmare

I have been having horrid nightmares lately. Just horrid, C gets kidnapped and turns up with a sex offender, C gets lost forever, the house goes up in flames, I cannot find S and someone tells me he won't be back, and the worst one we all die and we are just lying there while the dog cries and whines. They are long drawn out dreams and a few times I woke up from the horror and then when I fell back asleep they continued.

These dreams have been happening for a little over a week. In this same time period I have been experiencing terrible jaw pain. I have TMJ, they changed the name of it over the years, I think it is TMD now, but I am not sure. Anyway the muscle connecting my upper and lower jaw get very sore. I use to have a mouth guard to wear at night that would help, but I have sadly lost it. Another one is over 600.00. I plan on getting a new one, but it takes months. I think this pain and my dreams are connected. Because of the pain I haven't been sleeping well.

Last night I took Tylenol PM before I went to bed. It knocked me out enough to sleep through the night and not have any memorable dreams. But man I cannot handle those one more night.

In other news: We have been spending money like it grows on trees. A new vacuum, a new microwave, out to eat, clothes, and tons of other crap. It is my fault, I don't really keep that great of track of our bank account. I just look online to see how much money we have, log on twice a month to pay the bills, and move on. We both had been pretty careful last month to avoid the bank card transactions and not go out to eat, so when I noticed we had extra money in our account I wasn't surprised. HA! I should have been. The VA gave us $900.00 for S's school that I didn't notice. Now we have a school bill and only 600.00 to pay it with . Oops. I forever do crap like this. I am going to try to get it all taken care of today. I had extra money last month from a refund and I put that in savings, so I am pretty sure that will cover it - but that money was our VK money.... Errrr.... Knowing we have money issues is just another thing that will keep the nightmares coming.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

America's Most Wanted

I think the Herndon honeymoon period might be over.

Friday night C wen to the community center for "kids night out". It is a prepaid event once a month where the kids go and play games, do crafts, and watch a movie. He was looking forward to it. Two month ago he cried and we were called to pick him up early, last month he made it almost to end and then just hung out with one of the kid councilors until we arrived, then this month he was hooting and hollering about how awesome it was going to be all week. So he goes, we get no phone calls and are loving life after a nice night out to Bennihanna go to pick up C. He seemingly was in a good mood and I helped him put on his sneakers. But when I was tying his shoes I noticed he had a black eye. I asked him if he got "bonked in the head" with a ball or something and he just sort of said he didn't know. It wasn't a major black eye, just red on the cheekbone and darkish gray forming under his eye. So on the way we talked with one of the head volunteers and she told me that C was so great and he is so sweet, and I was like "great, thanks, bye-bye" and she was all, "Well, we had an incident."

The incident: Six other boys were taking the hula hoops and trapping other children in them from behind and then pushing them around. At first it looked like they were just playing but as it turns out kids were getting hurt. On kid pulled C's shirt and spun him in a circle and then pushed him to the ground. C yelled for them to stop and then went to get a person in charge who yelled at the kids to stop, but they just continued to be rough and hurt other kids. Eventually there was an incident report and the police came! Now the police have been stationed outside the community center for weeks - so they are just a few steps away, other wise they probably would be called. Anyway the kids were sent home.

Can you imagine having this girls job? I don't even think she was 18 and she had to tell all the parents these things. How terrible for her. I was thinking this trying not to be upset, but I did manage to ask her if this was how he got the black eye. She frowned and said she hadn't seen that develop but "my instincts would say yes". I thanked her for letting us know and we left. C said he had a lot of fun except when those older boys were there, so at least that is good. But I am a little miffed that the problem wasn't nipped in the bud a little sooner. Also the police issue has me a little concerned.

I have noticed when I go to Zumba that the police are always right up front in the parking lot of the community center. It doesn't actually make me feel safe, it makes me feel like they're there for a reason. They have also been in the parking lot of our grocery stores and other area places. Last night when S went to the store he said the cops were in the store sorting something out. I am just getting a little creeped out, especially at the library.

You can tell the weather is finally turning here. At night, almost for a week now we have had the heat on and quite a few days as well. Anyway, you can also tell because there is a small homeless population hanging out at the library. This week there was the usual suspect, the young guy who always parks his luggage by the computers. One wouldn't even know he is homeless unless they say the trash bag covered boxes on the pull cart. The usual suspect wasn't alone this week. There was a lady sleeping in a back corner with her "luggage" all around her. There was a guy sleeping on a chair who smelled so bad I left the section. It seemed like at the end of every row was a pull cart of belongings. Normally I feel sorry for these people. I always want to help but don't know how. I always give them money if they are outside. Damn Doctoro Phil.

One time on a Dr. Phil show he said that he always gives because he just thinks to himself "what if he doesn't buy cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol, what if he buys a meal and it saves his life tonight?" So I give. When we lived in DC both S and I would keep McDonald's gift cards in our glove boxes to hand out on one highway exit ramp where there was always pan handlers and golden arch just steps away. But I digress, back to the library,

There were no cops at the library, but I was beginning to get creeped out anyway, thinking maybe there should be. So I check out my new series (I have a sick obsession with VC Andrews lately) and head to my car. When I get home I settle in to watch TV and catch up on my DVR shows, one of which is America's Most Wanted.

On the show they show case this guy from DC who is young and looks just like my usual suspect at the library. I was totally scared and double checked all my door locks. I don't think I am going to go to the library at night anymore!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Kind of Funny

Whenever I don't know what to do with myself I go to Kohl's. It is close to the house, quiet, and large enough to get lost in for an hour. About two weeks ago I ventured over there after dinner one night. I didn't have anything, other than my insane quest for the perfect boots, that I really needed or wanted I just browsed the sale racks and the ladies clothes. On my final lap of the store I saw a sweat shirt that I knew S would like. He wears these old man half zip sweatshirts around the house at night. When they are new they look pretty nice, but they get old and either stretched out or shrinked up really fast. Anyway, they were on sale, so I pick one out for S to give to him on his birthday.

Fast Forward to Last Night:

It was the first cold night and really it wasn't that cold, it isn't like we had the heat on, we just cannot wait to use the fireplace more! Anyway, we opted to have a fire. S tells me he just wanted to change up first. So he comes downstairs and he is wearing an old man sweatshirt - half zip in the same color I had bought him last week. So I start to laugh and before I knew it I was telling him the story. So tonight, before dinner, I went back to Khol's. They still don't have boots by the way. I came close with a Vera Wang black pointy toe number but alas they didn't have size 10, no one does. I return the old man sweatshirt and exchange it for a Dunder Mifflin Paper Company logo tee. Somehow I think S will like that better in the long run. Now, only if I could find the perfect boot!

PS: They were playing Christmas music.

Monday, November 2, 2009

It is Offical

Well actually many things are official; beginning with:

  1. My job is so lame, G didn't even show up today and I spent an hour or so here and there on facebook, email, lunch, and talking to my mom. My scanner is really slow and I was just filling the time. Except when my mom called, then I just took ten.
  2. My husband raked the front yard. I am still in shock.
  3. Cooper has 4 cavities. I am still in shock.
  4. Cooper is only at level one reading when he should be at a six according to the parent teacher conference we had today. I am not shocked or even a little surprised.
  5. I am all candied out.
  6. Dinner cannot come fast enough tonight, it is already cooking. I forgot about the time change, so we are eating SO early!
  7. The time change is killing me. I was wide awake at six this morning and God knows I am going to pay for that on Wednesday when C goes back to school and I go back to work.
  8. Fairfax County Public Schools are weird. C has off today and tomorrow for teacher conference days. It is bad enough he has a half day every Monday.
  9. According to #4 he needs more time in school. His teacher agrees and now he will have a reading program twice a week for an hour before school. Good thing I have a car these days.
  10. My son is so funny. He made up his first joke ever that made sense. Normally he says things like why do the curtains have stripes and he would say because they blue and laugh his head off. Funny, maybe, but it gets a little old sometimes. Well, this morning he says "hey mom, what do you call chicken in a box?" and I say "I don't know" and he says "Fried chicken!" I thought that was cute. He must have had KFC on the brain.