I took C to his first taekwondo class this afternoon. He hated it. He cried half way through and sat on the side lines. I was that parent with a crying kid, trying desperately to encourage him to try again. He was that child that couldn't be consoled. Couldn't he have had his meltdown before we paid 40.00 for the uniform? My head hurts.
It has been so long since we've had these type of meltdowns. Ever since the IEP went into place C has been happy and worry free. Today everything we've worked so hard for just seemed to come tumbling down. I don't want to get in the pattern of a major pep talk every time he cries. If we do, then he cries more because he likes it. It is so hard to strike that balance. And poor C, he just got upset and overwhelmed and he just wanted to hide.
He's fine now, playing a video game and vying for the next snack. But man, what a day. He had camp, I had a strengthening class, then he had taekwondo. I was back and forth to the community center four complete times. Tomorrow, C just has camp; we're riding bikes, so that should be nice. Since; you know; tomorrow is a new day and all.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Shocking
I totally got shocked to day by the computer. Lighting & thunder were lighting up the afternoon sky and I was running around trying to gather up all the chairs outside when I realized I needed to stop playing with metal objects during an electrical storm. The sounds were so loud and so close that for the first time in a years I was actually a little nervous over it. Normally I love the chaos of storms. Anyway, I head inside and that is when lightning starts coming down in bolts right between our house and the woods on the other side of the gold course! Good thing I got inside, only then I remembered that I was using to computer when I heard the first roll of thunder, so I went to turn it off and ZAP. Frick that hurt. My right hand got a jolt from my middle finger up through my shoulder. It is still sore, hours later.
So after the shock of a life time, other than the time I licked the end of an electric blanket just to see what would happen, I tried to boot the computer back up but got nothing. S gave it a try when he came home too, but nothing worked. Well, I had the magic touch I suppose because I flipped the switch on the surge protector and everything came back to life with no damage. S did the same exact things with no luck at all - poor guy. :P)
So after the shock of a life time, other than the time I licked the end of an electric blanket just to see what would happen, I tried to boot the computer back up but got nothing. S gave it a try when he came home too, but nothing worked. Well, I had the magic touch I suppose because I flipped the switch on the surge protector and everything came back to life with no damage. S did the same exact things with no luck at all - poor guy. :P)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Burrito Burgers
Burrito Burgers:
A pound or more of ground meat or ground turkey
A half cup to a cup of rice (pre-cooked)
A small can of Pinto Beans, or any kind you like
An envelope (more or less) of taco seasoning
Any Tex-Mex seasoning you like. I added Chipotle hamburger seasoning - just because I had it.
Rachel Ray has the same recipe, sort of, but she adds different seasoning and actual Chipotle sauce. She calls them Stretch a buck burrito burgers.
Mix and fry.
Terrible for the grill, they are really messy. But I bet if you cut the rice to just a half cup and the beans to half and add an egg they'd be okay for the grill.
A pound or more of ground meat or ground turkey
A half cup to a cup of rice (pre-cooked)
A small can of Pinto Beans, or any kind you like
An envelope (more or less) of taco seasoning
Any Tex-Mex seasoning you like. I added Chipotle hamburger seasoning - just because I had it.
Rachel Ray has the same recipe, sort of, but she adds different seasoning and actual Chipotle sauce. She calls them Stretch a buck burrito burgers.
Mix and fry.
Terrible for the grill, they are really messy. But I bet if you cut the rice to just a half cup and the beans to half and add an egg they'd be okay for the grill.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Babble Babble
I seem to have a lot to say over the last few days. I think I am going a little nutty because I have lacked adult interaction. Thank God I got to talk to my sister last night or I would be totally off my rocker. S travels so much these days, and this week has been no different. However, some good news. He called late last night to say he was able to get his flight changed and he will be home around five tonight instead of ten. So we're happy about that.
I told C the new this morning and asked him what he wanted to do tonight for dinner. We normally go out when dad gets home from a long trip. But to my surprise he didn't yell out "Red Robin Yum". He wants something at home. I am glad that is what he chose. And, actaully I am glad we didn't go out last night in the end. I was trying to go an entire week without spending money unless it was needed items at the grocery store. Low and behold, we actaully did it, for the most part. Our only expenditure was a Diet Coke while we were out and we shared and the money came from the ashtray in the car (I don't think that counts as real money)So back to my point; We're making dinner tonight.
We can't decide between Mexican style burrito burgers or tacos. They both sound pretty mouth watering to me. Oh well, three hours till S gets home. I suppose I should clean up a little. Maybe do the dusting and pick up the toys that seem to spill into every room as the day goes on :P)
I told C the new this morning and asked him what he wanted to do tonight for dinner. We normally go out when dad gets home from a long trip. But to my surprise he didn't yell out "Red Robin Yum". He wants something at home. I am glad that is what he chose. And, actaully I am glad we didn't go out last night in the end. I was trying to go an entire week without spending money unless it was needed items at the grocery store. Low and behold, we actaully did it, for the most part. Our only expenditure was a Diet Coke while we were out and we shared and the money came from the ashtray in the car (I don't think that counts as real money)So back to my point; We're making dinner tonight.
We can't decide between Mexican style burrito burgers or tacos. They both sound pretty mouth watering to me. Oh well, three hours till S gets home. I suppose I should clean up a little. Maybe do the dusting and pick up the toys that seem to spill into every room as the day goes on :P)
How to save $24.00
Don't go to the movies.
I am a sucker. So, that just has to change. I am tired of complaining about others kids and listening to myself rant and rave on here and my head about them being rude, fighting, and just plain obnoxious, but man - they really are those things! Well there are new rules in the Wagner household. Starting with, the kids aren't coming over unless someone is home at their house. I am not the babysitter. They can play out front in the circle, no in my house eating my food, drinking my drinks, or annoying my puppy.
The straw that broke the camels back: Yesterday after all the hub-bub the boy, A asked if he could sleep over and C was so excited at the prospect that I said yes. So A went home and called his mom and then ran back over to say his mom said yes, but she'd talk to me when she got home. I asked what time she got home and he said 4:30. I know that is what the kids always say, and she really gets home at 7:30 but I thought maybe she'd be home early since they got home at 11:20 from school - last day and all. Anyway, it started to rain a little and every one was back in their respective houses and C and I were looking for something to do, so we decided to go to the movies. I said we could bring A. So we picked a show and saw that it played at 5:30 and 7:30, so I said that when A's mom called I would ask her if it was okay. Well, sure enough she didn't even get home until 7:30 (we saw her drive up). But there was no phone call. So at 8:00 I called over there - they didn't even answer the phone! Needless to say A never came over and we never made it to the movies.
I don't get it. My mom thinks I am complaining too much about it - she's probably right. But in the moment I just don't get it. I just don't remember this much chaos when I was a kid. Maybe my mother possessed more control than me. Or perhaps that is why she was always reading a book - so she didn't hear us all fighting and complaining. Hmmm, now I miss my mommy :P)
I am a sucker. So, that just has to change. I am tired of complaining about others kids and listening to myself rant and rave on here and my head about them being rude, fighting, and just plain obnoxious, but man - they really are those things! Well there are new rules in the Wagner household. Starting with, the kids aren't coming over unless someone is home at their house. I am not the babysitter. They can play out front in the circle, no in my house eating my food, drinking my drinks, or annoying my puppy.
The straw that broke the camels back: Yesterday after all the hub-bub the boy, A asked if he could sleep over and C was so excited at the prospect that I said yes. So A went home and called his mom and then ran back over to say his mom said yes, but she'd talk to me when she got home. I asked what time she got home and he said 4:30. I know that is what the kids always say, and she really gets home at 7:30 but I thought maybe she'd be home early since they got home at 11:20 from school - last day and all. Anyway, it started to rain a little and every one was back in their respective houses and C and I were looking for something to do, so we decided to go to the movies. I said we could bring A. So we picked a show and saw that it played at 5:30 and 7:30, so I said that when A's mom called I would ask her if it was okay. Well, sure enough she didn't even get home until 7:30 (we saw her drive up). But there was no phone call. So at 8:00 I called over there - they didn't even answer the phone! Needless to say A never came over and we never made it to the movies.
I don't get it. My mom thinks I am complaining too much about it - she's probably right. But in the moment I just don't get it. I just don't remember this much chaos when I was a kid. Maybe my mother possessed more control than me. Or perhaps that is why she was always reading a book - so she didn't hear us all fighting and complaining. Hmmm, now I miss my mommy :P)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Not That I Didn't Already
Oh Man. I am right here watching all these kids and they are just so darn rude! I have had to just step back and let them all work it out themselves. Good Lord! I had planned on running on my treadmil while they all played but it is impossible as I have to keep stopping to separate them. One more outbreak in the ranks and I am sending the little buggers home.
And not that my kid is perfect or anything but for crying out loud he is the youngest in the group and is the one sharing all his stuff!
Two minutes later: I sent them home after a huge uproar. Apparently the brother / sister duo were fighting and it just trickled in from there. I think I am going to take C to the movies. I need a real break - LOL
And not that my kid is perfect or anything but for crying out loud he is the youngest in the group and is the one sharing all his stuff!
Two minutes later: I sent them home after a huge uproar. Apparently the brother / sister duo were fighting and it just trickled in from there. I think I am going to take C to the movies. I need a real break - LOL
Critics Corner
SYTYCD is weird this season. They've brought back 'all stars' from former seasons to dance with the contestants instead of pairing them together. The problem is; the all stars way out shine the contestants. It was actaully a little off putting last night. That and the fact that my DVR isn't working and I had to watch it live.
Ghost Hunters Academy proved worth my time this week. They nixed Roslyn which, from the first episode was my least liked 'cadet'. I totally laugh seeing Dave and Tango be hard asses, they are so funny on Ghost Hunters, I never expected them to be any different.
Secret Life has become even worse this season. We're only two episodes in and already another teen is pregnant. Mind you, when this show first aired it was hailed as a modern 7th Heaven! Of the original cast, there is only one virgin left. And they are juniors in high school. Gosh I love me some trashy TV.
Days of our Lives is blahh this month. They are finally killing off Alice Horton. But I swear she hasn't been on in years, so it is rather anticlimactic. However I am glued to the Chloe/ Daniel / Philip love triangle (well not really a triangle) but on Their wedding day Daniel and Chloe find out that Chloe is pregnant. Daniel doesn't know it is probably Philips baby. But here is a soap opera twist you never know. Is Chloe really expecting? Dr Manning, Carly, could have made that up because she Chloe to force Chloe to tell the truth about her one night stand with Philip. Carly doesn't know it is Philip though. So there you have it. These folks have been held up in a hospital room for a week trying to get through an impromptu wedding and keep getting interrupted. Oh, did I mention Chloe was in the hospital because she fell down an elevator shaft after trying to kill Carly but having seconds thoughts so she grabbed Carly out of the way but fell herself. Yes I waste an entire hour on this crap every day.
My newest fave: Pretty Little Liars is proving to be sort of Gossip Girlish with a hint of that 90s' show with Jordon Catalono. I can't think of the name. But you know the one with that girl from Photo Shop, and she has sort of a wild friend and a gay guy friend when that was sort of taboo. Anyway it is full of a big secret, and teenage angst, I don't see where they could go wrong. ... My So Called Life, that was the show. Anyway, they haven't really thrown boys in yet, except a few kissy kissy scenes between a teacher and student. I know - trashy - right? Ahh my new fave.
Ghost Hunters Academy proved worth my time this week. They nixed Roslyn which, from the first episode was my least liked 'cadet'. I totally laugh seeing Dave and Tango be hard asses, they are so funny on Ghost Hunters, I never expected them to be any different.
Secret Life has become even worse this season. We're only two episodes in and already another teen is pregnant. Mind you, when this show first aired it was hailed as a modern 7th Heaven! Of the original cast, there is only one virgin left. And they are juniors in high school. Gosh I love me some trashy TV.
Days of our Lives is blahh this month. They are finally killing off Alice Horton. But I swear she hasn't been on in years, so it is rather anticlimactic. However I am glued to the Chloe/ Daniel / Philip love triangle (well not really a triangle) but on Their wedding day Daniel and Chloe find out that Chloe is pregnant. Daniel doesn't know it is probably Philips baby. But here is a soap opera twist you never know. Is Chloe really expecting? Dr Manning, Carly, could have made that up because she Chloe to force Chloe to tell the truth about her one night stand with Philip. Carly doesn't know it is Philip though. So there you have it. These folks have been held up in a hospital room for a week trying to get through an impromptu wedding and keep getting interrupted. Oh, did I mention Chloe was in the hospital because she fell down an elevator shaft after trying to kill Carly but having seconds thoughts so she grabbed Carly out of the way but fell herself. Yes I waste an entire hour on this crap every day.
My newest fave: Pretty Little Liars is proving to be sort of Gossip Girlish with a hint of that 90s' show with Jordon Catalono. I can't think of the name. But you know the one with that girl from Photo Shop, and she has sort of a wild friend and a gay guy friend when that was sort of taboo. Anyway it is full of a big secret, and teenage angst, I don't see where they could go wrong. ... My So Called Life, that was the show. Anyway, they haven't really thrown boys in yet, except a few kissy kissy scenes between a teacher and student. I know - trashy - right? Ahh my new fave.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
17 Days!
The countdown has begun. Only 17 Days left until our Pocono VK with J,K & Baby A! I am so excited. We are going for an entire week. We’ve rented a cabin that is just across the path from the lake. The décor is totally “gramma 70’s”. But there is a fridge, a stove, and a dishwasher so it isn’t like we’re really roughing it. Also, there is a Super Walmart 9.7 miles away. Yup … ROUGHING IT! But let’s see if we can manage a VK without having to go to Walmart the first day.
I asked C last night what he’d like to do at the lake. He let me know he really wanted to go out on a canoe but that Dad and I could do all the work. He then said “wait, are we like going to eat grill food all week?” to which I replied “we are probably going to eat a lot of food from the grill, so yes” then he gets this really goofy smile and says “Okay, but for one; don’t burn my hotdogs and for two; you might want to wear an apron if you are going to grill naked, you know like the volleyball games.” Then we both started laughing. C just thinks that one ‘clothing optional’ campground is so funny. I asked him if he really thought we’d go someplace like that and he said “Mom, I just don’t know these days, I mean look you won’t let me play Gears of War or Halo anymore, what is next, Naked Land roller coasters?”
In other news: We fixed the school bill issue with the bonds. I can’t believe we had that much money just sitting in our firebox. In the end we had enough for the school bill and enough to pay for the tires I put on a credit card a few weeks ago. I suppose, the money wasn’t just sitting there, so many times we contemplating cashing out the bonds but decided that it really wasn’t worth it at that moment. But this time around we knew it made the most sense.
Well, it is suppose to hit 95 again today and 98 tomorrow. I am going to go set up the kiddie pool and maybe mow some of the yard before the temp reaches its peak… maybe on the second part :P)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
25 Things for June
I love lists. I make them all the time. Cleaning lists, shopping lists, general to do lists, TV must lists, and every other type of list you imagine. For June, the list has been interesting, including two TDY's for S, vacation in Disney, end of school for C ... eventually, and the beginning of summer. I love summer. Without further delay: 25 Things I look forward to this summer:
- Hot weather
- The pool
- Camping
- The beach
- Visiting friends
- The extreme usage of the BBQ grill
- Fires on the deck
- Water gun fights
- The end of the Silly Band craze
- Golf
- Hiking
- Taking pictures of trees and water
- Thunder storms after a really hot day
- Playing board games and watching movies on a rainy day
- Riding my bike down hill
- Having a killer yard sale
- Going to killer yard sales :P)
- Getting to know the neighbors
- Sleeping past 6:30 once in a while
- Coffee on the deck
- Baseball games
- Summer concerts in the park
- The farmer's market
- Harvesting my tomatoes, peppers, basil, black berries, and more
- Eating ice cream
Friday, June 18, 2010
The Climb
Things are on the mend.
We went to the driving range tonight and smacked the heck out of a few dozen golf balls. It was cathartic and fun.
We found the answer to our huge school bill in the back of our closet. Savings bonds. 9 years worth. We are going to open a local back account tomorrow and cash them. There will be some left over to put towards the bills. Vacation funds untouched... the real priority of course.
Vacation at Keen Lake is settled, all the deposits have been paid and they even called to apologize, which I thought was nice, not many places do that these days. I can't believe the trip is in less than a month! Something to look forward too.
The cable sucks. We've had three new boxes in two days and as it turns out it is a wiring problem underground. The company is paying to have the wires dug up and replaced within the week; by their estimate. Then we should be back in business. I am going to call and see if I can get a DVR / HD credit for the two weeks total we'd be without. You never know until you ask - right?
My dog is back to crazy. She ate an entire bag of bagels off the counter tonight while we were out. She ate an entire bag of hot dog rolls this morning while I was walking C to the bus stop. I need to call the damn trainers again - at this point, only God knows what I am doing wrong.
Anyway, as dry as this post is, it is a happier one. Once in awhile I get a little crazy and overwhelmed, that's all. One crisis at a time Jamie, that is all you can handle..
One silly note: I gave C a haircut tonight. I did it on the deck, and let the hair just fall all over him, I figured he'd take a shower after anyway. Half way through the cut he looks down at all the hair on his shirt and says "oh no, I am a hairy beast like daddy! Help ME!!". It was pretty funny.
We went to the driving range tonight and smacked the heck out of a few dozen golf balls. It was cathartic and fun.
We found the answer to our huge school bill in the back of our closet. Savings bonds. 9 years worth. We are going to open a local back account tomorrow and cash them. There will be some left over to put towards the bills. Vacation funds untouched... the real priority of course.
Vacation at Keen Lake is settled, all the deposits have been paid and they even called to apologize, which I thought was nice, not many places do that these days. I can't believe the trip is in less than a month! Something to look forward too.
The cable sucks. We've had three new boxes in two days and as it turns out it is a wiring problem underground. The company is paying to have the wires dug up and replaced within the week; by their estimate. Then we should be back in business. I am going to call and see if I can get a DVR / HD credit for the two weeks total we'd be without. You never know until you ask - right?
My dog is back to crazy. She ate an entire bag of bagels off the counter tonight while we were out. She ate an entire bag of hot dog rolls this morning while I was walking C to the bus stop. I need to call the damn trainers again - at this point, only God knows what I am doing wrong.
Anyway, as dry as this post is, it is a happier one. Once in awhile I get a little crazy and overwhelmed, that's all. One crisis at a time Jamie, that is all you can handle..
One silly note: I gave C a haircut tonight. I did it on the deck, and let the hair just fall all over him, I figured he'd take a shower after anyway. Half way through the cut he looks down at all the hair on his shirt and says "oh no, I am a hairy beast like daddy! Help ME!!". It was pretty funny.
Earlier Riser
It is so bright outside by 6:00 am that I have been waking up really early. This morning around 5:30 I woke up and forced myself to go back to sleep, with minimal results. I suppose that is why I am so drop dead tired this morning. I was so crabby with S this morning that I am surprised it didn't offer to IV the coffee into me.
Our Father's day plans are foiled, and nothing seems to be able to replace what I had planned. Just timing issues, S leaves on Sunday afternoon for work, C has a birthday party midday on Saturday, and I told the kids they could all come over for movies tonight. Oh well, who says every holiday has to be some huge event. I might bring C to the original plan anyway. A concert at our church in the evening, it looked really good - and I don't want to miss out.
Alright - enough complaining. I can barely keep my eyes open. Even though it is only 9:30 I already mowed half the lawn (I did the other half last night) and cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast - homemade oatmeal and fruit. So it isn't' like I haven't been productive, I am going back to bed.
Our Father's day plans are foiled, and nothing seems to be able to replace what I had planned. Just timing issues, S leaves on Sunday afternoon for work, C has a birthday party midday on Saturday, and I told the kids they could all come over for movies tonight. Oh well, who says every holiday has to be some huge event. I might bring C to the original plan anyway. A concert at our church in the evening, it looked really good - and I don't want to miss out.
Alright - enough complaining. I can barely keep my eyes open. Even though it is only 9:30 I already mowed half the lawn (I did the other half last night) and cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast - homemade oatmeal and fruit. So it isn't' like I haven't been productive, I am going back to bed.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Pathetic State
I just wanted to post this quick:
- I went to the gym and feel slightly better
- I had a huge bowl of pasta and feel slightly better
- I organized a toy bin and feel slightly better
- I am lounging in the den watching Days and I feel slightly better
- I am going to find chocolate and then feel slightly better
Downward Spiral
Okay, so I have went from Supermom w/ cape to puddle on floor really fast over the last few days. First, I am still a little batty over the IVF remembrance / friend's loss events, but I am actaully rounding the bend on that. Still, life goes on regardless of my emotional state, and this morning that life seems to be a complete mess. The brief rundown:
- When calling Park University to obtain an obscure GPA for certain set of classes (needed for job application) I easily got the registrar to give me the numbers for my Bachelor's degree, but then I asked, does that include my associates in accounting? And she explains that my application expired for that degree and it wasn't issued. Come to find out I am short three credit in a management finance class.
- I've been telling C for weeks that this Friday is the last day of school. I even checked the FX county website to prove it. Well, apparently the website is wrong. The kids get out next week.
- S called was doing something for his school and found out that they say he owes 3750.00.
- I am so freaking tired of the neighborhood kids and my child's interaction with them! They leave in a week or so for their father's for the summer. But still, last night C invited three kids over for chocolate cake. Homemade cake with real homemade icing that I worked on for hours. He didn't even ask. Well, I had a big talk with him and told him no. Then later he came back inside and was fake crying telling me that I am "making it difficult to keep friends." I seriously yelled at him and sent him to his room.
- The campground we are staying at in July is pissing us off. Not a good sign. I called the other day and paid our deposit, but still didn't get our receipt. Then our friends called to pay their half and weren't treated very professionally. In fact they really weren't treated at all, they were put on hold one time and forgotten about and then another time told they'd be called back. S called and he was told they'd call back too. What the heck is going on?
- Our cable is seriously fucked up. For weeks I thought our TV was dying because we were getting these purple and green lines rolling on the screen. Then our cable box started doing weird things, like loosing the sound, plus a whole bunch of annoying little things like a freezing picture and randomly rebooting. So I called the company and they seemed to fix it from sending a test signal. But the next day it did it all again. So yesterday I had the cable guy here replacing our box. I explained all the trouble and he gave us a brand new one. So yesterday night I sat down to program the new DVR and freaking A, I had the same old problems. So I checked the back of the box and noticed it was a new one, but the cord was used from the old one. So I call back the company and schedule another visit for today. I am so annoyed.
- I need to see a doctor. I have been ignoring a few things, and that plan isn't working. I keep getting these random pains in my body. At first they were like a little pin push towards my skin from a random point in my body and then traveling to a second point. After about a month the pain became more than just the size of a pin and now is effecting larger areas and are actaully stopping me in my tracks. Two days ago I actaully doubled over after having extreme twinging in my right side, that traveled down to my right foot. Yesterday I decided to keep track of the pains, they are really random, and don't seem to follow a nerve pattern. Plus I never feel it in my skin, not always in a muscle, and seriously painful at times; I don't really see any patterns there either.
- I don't have a good doctor.
- I applied for a job that required a very long application and writing test. I think I failed to insert the works cited page. You cannot go back and fix anything. My saving grace is that if it is opened in the newer version of Word the references are there and can be seen.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sunny Side Up
I feel like Bill Cosby is narrating my days with C.
A few days ago C and I were tooling around the internet looking for campgrounds in the Poconos when we came across one that looked kind of cool. So we click the link and see a bunch a green trees, a lake, a volleyball court, naked people on the volleyball court, naked people on the beach, and naked people hiking! We accidentally clicked on a nudest camp! You couldn't see anything but a few behinds, but man did we laugh. Just imagine nothing but hiking boots! C was laughing so hard he was crying. Both of us were giggling and as we went back to the main site and looked for regular campgrounds.
Then yesterday C has a friend over and the boys were watching a cartoon. They both started to laugh and then C says "hey A, you want to hear something really funny, my mom and I looked at naked volleyball pictures on the internet." I immediately said "hey, what are you talking about, don't talk like that." I fully expect this kids mother to call soon.
Later when his friend asked for a snack C told him "No, your on my moms last nerve, she can't feed the whole neighborhood."
A few days ago C and I were tooling around the internet looking for campgrounds in the Poconos when we came across one that looked kind of cool. So we click the link and see a bunch a green trees, a lake, a volleyball court, naked people on the volleyball court, naked people on the beach, and naked people hiking! We accidentally clicked on a nudest camp! You couldn't see anything but a few behinds, but man did we laugh. Just imagine nothing but hiking boots! C was laughing so hard he was crying. Both of us were giggling and as we went back to the main site and looked for regular campgrounds.
Then yesterday C has a friend over and the boys were watching a cartoon. They both started to laugh and then C says "hey A, you want to hear something really funny, my mom and I looked at naked volleyball pictures on the internet." I immediately said "hey, what are you talking about, don't talk like that." I fully expect this kids mother to call soon.
Later when his friend asked for a snack C told him "No, your on my moms last nerve, she can't feed the whole neighborhood."
Saturday, June 12, 2010
On His Way
C and I walked over to the mailbox and McDonald's for lunch. On the way there he warned me about some prickly bushes on the edge of the sidewalk where I was walking. He pointed them out and then said "yah know what, why don't you let me walk on that side, so you can be safer." I almost cried.
Right, almost - ha, I cried.
Right, almost - ha, I cried.
Hot & Steamy
Not to worry this isn't TMI. It is just freaking hot outside. C and S went over to the ball park to hit a few balls and I promised them I'd follow on my bike. Well, I made it, said hi, swatted about a million gnats, and turned my butt right back around. The whole trip was less than 15 minutes. Too hot & way too many bugs. The boys drove over and I'd be surprised if they aren't home in the next ten minutes.
I wonder what to night holds? Last night on a whim we went to the movies. We saw Marmaduke. Super CUTE. I laughed more than the boys, but we all enjoyed it. Not sure it was worth the 32 bucks admission, but it was still fun to see. We skipped the popcorn, making a huge vat of it when we got home. Good times were had by all.
I suppose I could work on my resume tonight. Blahhhh. I so need to go back to work at the end of the summer. I am going to aim for a GS job, but really, I don't have my heart set on anything, I just know I am a good worker and can pick up just about anything business related. Give me a number to crunch, or a program to run, as long as it has numbers I can see and achieve I am happy.
I wonder what to night holds? Last night on a whim we went to the movies. We saw Marmaduke. Super CUTE. I laughed more than the boys, but we all enjoyed it. Not sure it was worth the 32 bucks admission, but it was still fun to see. We skipped the popcorn, making a huge vat of it when we got home. Good times were had by all.
I suppose I could work on my resume tonight. Blahhhh. I so need to go back to work at the end of the summer. I am going to aim for a GS job, but really, I don't have my heart set on anything, I just know I am a good worker and can pick up just about anything business related. Give me a number to crunch, or a program to run, as long as it has numbers I can see and achieve I am happy.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Homecoming
There are somethings we just don't know until we know we didn't know. It makes sense to me, or the emotional mess that has been me for the past two days.
S is home and that helped. I can't exactly pretend I am fine when things are too crazy, and it felt like I could breath again when he called to say he was coming home early. By lunch time yesterday he was back from Florida and we were headed to our favorite pizza place. We were those people, the ones who were having majorly private conversation in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Sometimes you just can't fake happy or put off miserable until after your pizza arrives it just comes out.
Ugggghhh, I gotta go, there has to be something in this house I can clean or scrub and bleach the hell out of.
S is home and that helped. I can't exactly pretend I am fine when things are too crazy, and it felt like I could breath again when he called to say he was coming home early. By lunch time yesterday he was back from Florida and we were headed to our favorite pizza place. We were those people, the ones who were having majorly private conversation in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Sometimes you just can't fake happy or put off miserable until after your pizza arrives it just comes out.
Ugggghhh, I gotta go, there has to be something in this house I can clean or scrub and bleach the hell out of.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Emotions Suck
I am taking something harder than I thought really possible. A friend lost her baby at 14 weeks, and didn't find out until the 18th. She is devastated, as is her family, and this isn't the first time. She now has three children waiting for her in heaven. Three. That is a huge number. I barely function some days knowing one at six weeks is waiting for us and it has been a year.
I never use the M word and I haven't even acknowledged that there was a life inside of me at one point, in fact there could very well have been two, I refer to the situation as IVF, either before IVF or after IVF. Even typing these words caused me to find the kleenex. Scarier yet, I haven't been back to the doctor's since. I can't make myself go back to that clinic. I can't make myself call that phone number. I cannot make myself talk about it with someone, even a doctor, that doesn't already know the situation.
And here is the honest truth: Every time I see someone who has that tell tale "pregnancy" belly, I feel like someone kicked me and that they stole my chance for a miracle. Every time I hear of a person conceiving after years of infertility I feel like someone else stole my chance of a miracle and then sent someone to kick me even harder. Neither offers any hope or faith.
I still just love to hear that my friends are expecting though, because I have awesome friends and they want their children. That may sound funny, but there are plenty of people who don't or at least don't want to be pregnant and tell you that much. I always feel so bad when my friends don't even want to tell me that they are pregnant, they can't even enjoy their good news without a feeling bad for me.
And now one of my best and dearest friends, the one who knows the most about me, the one who can always make me feel like I am a gift from God, like I am smart, and pretty , and funny, and caring, and deserving, the friend that always gave more to me than I to her, the one who loves her children more than life itself, who tries to live by example and constantly carries herself with poise and grace is hurting probably worse than I ever knew possible. Why is life like this? I don't want to be reminded of this pain, and I certainly don't want others to feel it.
Her loss isn't about me and yet it has stirred a whole slew of emotions I try very hard to keep in check. Last night I had a nightmare that my friend and I were walking from her church trying to round up all the kids in her huge car and we couldn't find a little one she kept calling Nate. It was really scary. I wonder if she is going to have a funeral for her child, and what she'll name name him or her. I always like the name Nathan - I wonder how that name came in my dream?
I think I need to plan a trip to Iowa.
I never use the M word and I haven't even acknowledged that there was a life inside of me at one point, in fact there could very well have been two, I refer to the situation as IVF, either before IVF or after IVF. Even typing these words caused me to find the kleenex. Scarier yet, I haven't been back to the doctor's since. I can't make myself go back to that clinic. I can't make myself call that phone number. I cannot make myself talk about it with someone, even a doctor, that doesn't already know the situation.
And here is the honest truth: Every time I see someone who has that tell tale "pregnancy" belly, I feel like someone kicked me and that they stole my chance for a miracle. Every time I hear of a person conceiving after years of infertility I feel like someone else stole my chance of a miracle and then sent someone to kick me even harder. Neither offers any hope or faith.
I still just love to hear that my friends are expecting though, because I have awesome friends and they want their children. That may sound funny, but there are plenty of people who don't or at least don't want to be pregnant and tell you that much. I always feel so bad when my friends don't even want to tell me that they are pregnant, they can't even enjoy their good news without a feeling bad for me.
And now one of my best and dearest friends, the one who knows the most about me, the one who can always make me feel like I am a gift from God, like I am smart, and pretty , and funny, and caring, and deserving, the friend that always gave more to me than I to her, the one who loves her children more than life itself, who tries to live by example and constantly carries herself with poise and grace is hurting probably worse than I ever knew possible. Why is life like this? I don't want to be reminded of this pain, and I certainly don't want others to feel it.
Her loss isn't about me and yet it has stirred a whole slew of emotions I try very hard to keep in check. Last night I had a nightmare that my friend and I were walking from her church trying to round up all the kids in her huge car and we couldn't find a little one she kept calling Nate. It was really scary. I wonder if she is going to have a funeral for her child, and what she'll name name him or her. I always like the name Nathan - I wonder how that name came in my dream?
I think I need to plan a trip to Iowa.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Blinding
A conversation between C and I
C: Mom, did you know if you look at the sun you will go blind?
Me: I think that is true, we better not look directly at it
C: Yeah because if you are blind you can't see
Me: That is right and then things like walking and driving aren't always possible
C: You could walk with a guide dog
Me: Right, but driving is totally out
C: Right, and the ass circus
Me: The what circus?
C: The ASSSSS circus
Me: What?
C: You know, the circus; elephants, jugglers, and the ass clowns
Me: What?
C: Maaaaaaummmmm, you know what I am talking about
Me: Yeah, the circus, the regular circus with regular clowns and blind people can go they just wouldn't be able to see the acts but they could hear them
C: Whose blind? I am talking about the clowns?
C: Mom, did you know if you look at the sun you will go blind?
Me: I think that is true, we better not look directly at it
C: Yeah because if you are blind you can't see
Me: That is right and then things like walking and driving aren't always possible
C: You could walk with a guide dog
Me: Right, but driving is totally out
C: Right, and the ass circus
Me: The what circus?
C: The ASSSSS circus
Me: What?
C: You know, the circus; elephants, jugglers, and the ass clowns
Me: What?
C: Maaaaaaummmmm, you know what I am talking about
Me: Yeah, the circus, the regular circus with regular clowns and blind people can go they just wouldn't be able to see the acts but they could hear them
C: Whose blind? I am talking about the clowns?
Monday, June 7, 2010
Orlando
Vacation was so much fun. Disney World is a such an awesome vacation. We all loved it. We rode every ride we wanted too, some twice. It was hot, really hot, and humid. It rained on us a few times, but after the initial, "oh crap it's raining", we realized we were welcoming the down pours to cool us off. On one ride, Aladdin, we were riding high in the sky and I realized that I was deliriously happy, wishing it could last forever. I love feeling like a kid again.
The trip was short, only three days, two nights, but we sure packed in the fun. We arrived on Thursday morning and went straight to Walmart. What else is new? Scott forgot a bathing suit. After our side trip we checked into our hotel and went to the pool / waterpark. To my surprise C loved the big water slides. So did we! They had slides, a pool, a lazy river, a kids park, and lots of lounge chairs. We all used 70 proof sunscreen. C is dark, like not white dark, and S is burnt to a crisp. I am somewhere in the middle, even after reapplying the sunscreen a few times. The sun was just so bright. After a few hours at the water park it started to rain and storm so we headed out to explore the town. The rain subsided so we stopped at a Pirate Mini Golf place that was wicked fun. After that we went to Medieval Times. C loved it. We bought him a sword and he actaully fell asleep holding onto it that night. The following day we went to Disney World.
Again, Disney was awesome. We had so much fun and loved all the rides. It was wicked crowded but every time it rained there seemed to be less people. Also, because you can get "fast pass" tickets for some rides for a time to come back later, we could go on one ride while 'virtually' standing in line for another. In the end we never waited more than a half hour for a ride and most times it was less that ten minutes. Our favorites collectively were all the mountains; Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain. We stayed until closing and all promised to go back again sometime.
The last day we played at the hotel water park until around 2:00 and then headed out for a late lunch. C ended up falling asleep in the back seat. We arrived at Olive Garden and couldn't even wake him up. S even tried picking him up, but he didn't even open his eyes. So we decided to let him sleep and we explored Orlando a little bit. Eventually C woke up and we made it to an even later lunch at a different Olive Garden and then headed for the airport.
It was all so much fun, we didn't want it to end. Especially since S had to get right back on the plane and go right back to Orlando this morning. Work related stuff, as usual. I suppose I can't complain too much though. He's been a model husband for the last few weeks. The man came back from 6 weeks of USAF school and suddenly he knows how to do dishes, mow the lawn, and make the bed. Now, if only they had taught him to put the seat down.
The trip was short, only three days, two nights, but we sure packed in the fun. We arrived on Thursday morning and went straight to Walmart. What else is new? Scott forgot a bathing suit. After our side trip we checked into our hotel and went to the pool / waterpark. To my surprise C loved the big water slides. So did we! They had slides, a pool, a lazy river, a kids park, and lots of lounge chairs. We all used 70 proof sunscreen. C is dark, like not white dark, and S is burnt to a crisp. I am somewhere in the middle, even after reapplying the sunscreen a few times. The sun was just so bright. After a few hours at the water park it started to rain and storm so we headed out to explore the town. The rain subsided so we stopped at a Pirate Mini Golf place that was wicked fun. After that we went to Medieval Times. C loved it. We bought him a sword and he actaully fell asleep holding onto it that night. The following day we went to Disney World.
Again, Disney was awesome. We had so much fun and loved all the rides. It was wicked crowded but every time it rained there seemed to be less people. Also, because you can get "fast pass" tickets for some rides for a time to come back later, we could go on one ride while 'virtually' standing in line for another. In the end we never waited more than a half hour for a ride and most times it was less that ten minutes. Our favorites collectively were all the mountains; Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain. We stayed until closing and all promised to go back again sometime.
The last day we played at the hotel water park until around 2:00 and then headed out for a late lunch. C ended up falling asleep in the back seat. We arrived at Olive Garden and couldn't even wake him up. S even tried picking him up, but he didn't even open his eyes. So we decided to let him sleep and we explored Orlando a little bit. Eventually C woke up and we made it to an even later lunch at a different Olive Garden and then headed for the airport.
It was all so much fun, we didn't want it to end. Especially since S had to get right back on the plane and go right back to Orlando this morning. Work related stuff, as usual. I suppose I can't complain too much though. He's been a model husband for the last few weeks. The man came back from 6 weeks of USAF school and suddenly he knows how to do dishes, mow the lawn, and make the bed. Now, if only they had taught him to put the seat down.
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