Jack Johnson is one of my favorite singers. I could listen to him all day every day and never get sick of his voice. And I've pretty much been doing that all day while I work around the house. Good day. Happy day. Nothing earth shattering to deal with, no real stress or issues to take care of, just a normal day. I made a cake for C's birthday and the house smells heavenly. I made a homemade card for C to take to a different b-day party this afternoon and it came out so adorable, sometimes I surprise myself there. C got home from school, threw his backpack on the chair and said "great day Mom, I'm going to play!" I love that, when the weather is perfect and the kids can't wait to get outside and run around.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I have been a real tyrant about money lately. I am not just talking about clipping a few coupons or turning the lights off after C leaves a room, no I have been a full blown cheap ass. I have been refusing to go out to eat or spend money on things we can do with out. (Obviously my shoe obsession doesn't count :) So this month is the first time in a long time that we aren't going to be negative 14.00 when all the bills clear. This month we have money. We have enough for C's "way too expensive" Laser tag party. We have enough to buy groceries and put gas in our cars. This means that on the 15th we won't be paying of CC charges from the first half of the month and low and behold we might just have cash then too. We just might be able to leave the money in the savings account where it belongs. Imagine that.
So to keep us in the clear we have a plan. We've done it before, the snowball effect, and it works well. We unfortunately gave up on it during IVF, FET, and me not working full time. I am the main budgeting person in the house but I really could be better at this job. My problem is paying too much. I see a balance on a CC and I just want it gone so I pay as much as we have at that moment not leaving us a realistic amount for every day essentials. It has been a bad habit that has left us cash poor. Now we do have a boat load of debt, but it really is only IVF, FET, Education, and the SUV. At least we know where every penny went.
The snowball is simple. You drop all of your payments down to the minimum due except the lowest. You pay double to triple the payment on your lowest debt until it is gone. When that debt is gone you take the amount you were paying on that and add it to the minimum payment on the next highest bill and so on and so forth. The key is not to acquire more debt in the process. I.e. a new car... got mine fixed BTW - no new car for me.
So our lowest debt is 474.10. That was just from July into August when we weren't paying attention and charged gas and groceries. Lesson learned. That will be paid in full the 15th of Oct. The next smallest bill is one more random student loan (the last one, for real this time) which is just over 700.00. Then the big guns hit; the vehicle, and medical bills. But if we have a plan we might be able to cut our debt in half by this time next year.
Some of my friends who have a mortgage probably think I am being simple. That is okay, I like it that way. The simple facts are: We cannot afford to live like we have two full time incomes, S makes good money and we should be managing it better, Life is too short to owe credit card companies money, We shouldn't have credit cards for everyday use, I am smart and should act like it when it comes to the budget. Simple planning, I got it.
The Big Debt Countdown Begins!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Oh Lord! How is it that we have an 8 year old today?!?!?!?! LOL - we are so excited. Today is C's birthday and we are celebrating. Chuck-E-Cheese after school, and a real party at Laser Tag on Saturday. He is thrilled and so are we. For the last month - two months C has been saving his money for a birthday trip to Toy R Us. To my surprise he doesn't want to go tonight but after his party. 8, wow, I can hardly believe it. I might be the luckiest mom in the whole world.
Monday, September 26, 2011
I need a new car. Over the weekend S and I crunched all the numbers and realized that we could afford one. Funny thing is, once we realized that and he was okay with it I suddenly wasn't. I'll have to shelf it anyway; we are going to have an estimate done to see how much it will cost to fix mine first; then make a decision.
In other news I got the nicest compliment this morning. We had our semi annual house inspection from the rental agency and then inspector said "you keep a very nice house, you make my job so easy." I thought that was very sweet and it made me feel good, especially since it was the second time someone said a similar thing just last week.
Last Thursday I sold some roller skates my sister had donated to the Cooper College Fund. (CCF). The lady who came to look at them complimented me on our furniture placement and tidiness. Then she proceeded to skate on our hardwood floors and gave me a slight heart attack. After that I didn't really thing about her compliment. But you know, that really is a nice thing for a stay at home mom to here.
Doing a good job at the job I have is hard sometimes, especially when we are questioning our budget and looking at a mountain of medical debt. (thanks IVF) I get overwhelmed and cranky. It seems like every time we pull out the family ledger (really just an Excel printout) we are questioning if I should be working full time. It maybe a little simplistic but hearing that I have been doing a nice job here at the house sure gives me focus and helps me appreciate the life I have.
Friday, September 23, 2011
I had the best phone conversation with a friend last night. At one point we were laughing so hard we were crying. Bonding over thick thighs and protruding butts was just what the doctor ordered. K, one of my bestest besties, (I know neither are real words - I've notified Webster's with no success) has asked me to be the matron of honor in her wedding next year. Normally, I decline all of these offers - I've only been in one that wasn't my own and it cost me more money than I could fathom and that didn't include the gift. But this is K; she was my maid of honor and she is so excited to have a real wedding that I cannot help but be over the moon for her; plus she wants hot pink dresses - so how can that be bad? LOL - they may or may not make a movie out of us.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I am reading a book called I Like Everybody (and other atrocious lies) by Laurie Notaro it is an autobiography - which is funny because I didn't know that until just now when I looked at the cover to get the authors name. Anyway here are the best quotes from this recommended funny read:
- "..I plopped my Pull My Finger Fred Doll, my cow that pooped brown jelly beans, and my giant roll of butt floss on my desk..." Honestly the context doesn't even matter. I was rolling.
- "Elevator People!"
- "Canadians are specially bred to be overtly nice... and sometimes they seem mildly retarded"
- "I blew a mammoth orb out of my nose ... A bubble, a big, nasty bubble, nearly the size of Christina Ricci's head came right out of my face."
- "It was nothing short of a miracle that I did not suddenly lay a big brown egg in my pantalones..."
- "Cancer of the upper asshole"
- "Who would steal a cabana? Picnic Pirates?"
I began reading this book yesterday afternoon while C was in an extra curricular activity. (Parents usually just hang out in the halls of the community center while the classes are in session) I laughed so hard at one point that I snorted. And get this, I am only on page 26.
On Monday I finished a book by Ali Vincent, she was the season 4 winner of the Biggest Looser (of which I am obsessed) and her book Believe it, Be it was a nice little cheerleader style read. Maybe 150 pages of her experience on the show and how her life changed after. The rest was filled with lots of pictures and some tips along the way. Nothing I'd read again but cheerful - so it makes my "I read that" list.
Last week S, C and I went to a book store's going out of business sale and really got some deals. On the first day C and I got about a dozen books for $4.00 but that was because we had old gift cards to use up. A few days later we all went back and the prices had dropped to 80%-90% off. This time we got about 30 books for $30.00. So we have a new library wing here at the house.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
One of my oldest and dearest friends has a young daughter who is pregnant. My friend K, wants her to put the baby up for adoption and it is a long shot. The daughter wants to keep the baby. Her mom keeps saying, she has no man, no job, no future, and no plans of a future for this child. I've been asked to contact the daughter and encourage her to choose adoption. My heart of hearts tells me this teenager is going to keep the baby but I can't not try. We have an adoption package that just needs a little updating, and a personal letter to this teen would be easily heartfelt and loving, but the idea of a maybe sure is raw with the potential of being so painful. So staying emotionally detached is going to take some effort.
My intuition says, don't get involved, but I can't not jump in with both feet. If this birth mother chooses adoption she needs to know that people love her and that her child can love her forever too. We are the couple that can ensure that. Adoption isn't a road we were going to travel again, but we know the path to get there, and aren't afraid. Even if this young lady chooses adoption for some other deserving couple or chooses to keep her baby I still want her to know that she is loved and we will always hold a special place for her in our hearts.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
This morning I walked into work and turned on the lights, the only person there was my boss who started my day with "Don't worry Jamie, you are going to have a way better day today." I took the first deep breath in hours and listened to her tell me she figured out which patient I had the mishap for and that everything is okay. This is all before I could even really say good morning. I have had other jobs that really would have read me the riot act for the most honest of mistakes. I am not use to this stuff ... and it is great. In health care you always have to worry about HIPAA laws and I was just assuming because I mixed patients up they'd have to be notified and I'd either be written up or fired. That is the way it seems to generally work right? Yeah - no. Scheduling is totally different from Medical Records (my working history) and I don't work for assholes (also my history).
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I totally screwed up at work today. Royally. I am not sure what I can do to fix it. I emailed my boss the issue and asked for her help. I am not sure but this might warrant getting written up or fired. Truly a mistake but a mistake nonetheless. I feel pretty shitty about it but on the other hand I have so much else to worry about right now.
Prioritizing-ly speaking, my job isn't ranking so high. I do like it. I am good at it and have a degree to prove it, but at the same time it is a part time gig. I'll be bummed if I get fired. But I did mess up, I scheduled the wrong patient in the wrong time slot. When I realized it and removed the appointment I couldn't remember the right patient. So this poor couple out there think they have an IUI appointment on Monday... My only saving grace is that we've got 24 hours to fix it. Hopefully patients and doctors are understanding. And if not, well it was a good run.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Here is the point in which I get tired of listening to myself bitch. The conclusion; that in order to proceed I must put on my big girl panties and deal. Proof: Last night I had a dream that I opened a restaurant and I was inviting celebs to an after graduation party. Eight grade ... yet I was doing shots. It was weird and very long. Disturbing mostly. My life is what is and changing it all at once, fixing the parts that drive me crazy or dissatisfy me, will only create more chaos and resentment. So like I said, big girl panties, or take the stick out of my ass which ever you prefer. Time to take my own advice and prioritize using baby steps.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
My Bullshit Meter is at low tolerance. Although I am feeling better than I was yesterday, the following list are things that just make me want to flip people off:
- My son got a card from my in-laws cat. With money in it. Weird.
- My dog has fleas. We bought the vet prescription preventative stuff and it still doesn't work. Poor thing.
- I cannot seem to find Caffeine Free Diet coke for under $8.00 a 24 pack.
- S is going to call down to some 'orders guy' for his career field and ask for a remote using his clearance today. A remote in going to happen? Great.
- I keep finding crap that should have gone to the yard sale. An old hope chest, a 19" TV, toys, clothes. You name it.
- I need to clean the carpets.
- I think I found the skunk home. I keep filling this certain area with dirt and yet every night it gets dug out. Right between the driveway and the sidewalk. I have a huge bag of rock salt, I wonder if that will make that little fucker move.
- Aflac comercials
- Why on earth are K Cups so flipping expensive. 12.99 for 12 at Wegmans! I really need to get out to the commissary. But chances are my car won't make it.
- My car. We used fix-a-flat in one tire and now I should buy the replacement, but chances are if we get orders that is the first thing we'll sell. So for now, it is in town driving only.
- Christmas. Yup already. I am still going to push for Hawaii.
- My husbands bum foot, the other foot, his leg / knee, and every other health issue. I know, I know in sickness and in health... errr.
- My bum arm. I cannot wait to run again. I actually tried yesterday, I got about 1/100th of a mile before I understood why I can't. OUCH! I walked instead, but that doesn't relieve the stress as much. If I am not breathing like a 1000 pound man in the hot sun then I don't have enough distraction and can think. I need to not think in order to think clearly later.
- I am human. Not super human.
- There are only 24 hours in a day.
- School fundraisers. School newsletters.
- Blah, Blah, Blah. Pity party.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I am mad; not just a little annoyed but really upset. I am angry with C and S. I am angry at Walter Reed for not calling with follow up. I am angry at the stupid Power Wheels for not working when someone came to buy it. I am mad at our house for being so cramped. I am outraged at the amount of paperwork and bills I have to sort through. And to top it all off; I am mad that after a week of dieting I weigh the same. I am so POed that when one of my BFFs called last week, I ranted for like 25 minutes before I asked, So how are you? And no I do not have my period, I was just that overwhelmed with it all.
The highlight real will most likely encourage me to start drinking the sauce so I will just piss and moan about the major one ... my husband. [ Disclaimer: He is amazing. I love him. He loves me. The sex is great. We're a good team. Yada, Yada, Yada ] He infuriates me sometimes. I have been working my butt of the last two weeks to clean out the house and purge the un-needed items. I had a huge yard sale. Me, not him. I dragged all the furniture outside, priced it all, set up the tables, and got up while it was still dark out to do so. S set up a small area of his baseball cards and golf balls. He helped me move the freezer from one side of the sidewalk to other and took a few sales. He made us some money, sure, but the heavy lifting and responsibility was mine. And that was okay with me, it was my yard sale not his.
What is not okay with me is his asshole-ed-ness about getting rid of stuff. His judgemental and selfish attitude about material stuff to me is unfathomable. It is just stuff. Nothing is priced right for him. He gets mad if I give stuff away. He doesn't really think we should get rid of most it. He cringes when I want to donate stuff to the Good Will. He says things like "oh geez" and "ahh, I don't know about that" when I try to change anything. He is the one who tells me we are due for orders. He is the one who admits we have too much stuff. He is the one who keeps saying he wants to get rid of stuff. (And I totally agree, and say the same things) Yet he seems to always be there with a criticisms.
Just last night I had a lady coming over to buy some toys. One was a Power Wheels car and the other a tent. I told S that if she buys the car I was going to give her the tent. And he argued with me. The tent was marked $5.00. The car was $75.00. I was so mad. Just the icing on the cake. At every turn there is resistance. (in the end I only sold the tent because the car stopped working - go figure - I was actaully pretty embarrassed.) Nothing is good enough, nothing is right.
Oh and there is plenty more. After all this cleaning and purging there is a pile of crap the Good Will won't even take. A broken coffee table, a crib mattress, gross and disgusting outdoor items, and the likes were just sitting on the curb. The city does do a Fall Clean Up in October, where they will come through and take your big items, but it is still 5 weeks away and we have all this stuff now. So I called the city to find out how to get rid of all this stuff and they told me I could pay a small fee ($35.00) and they would come by any day and pick up anything and everything. I was thrilled. That is really cheap. So I piled even more stuff out there and bagged up what I could.
By the time S got home from work there was a mountain of garbage out there. I was pretty proud of my accomplishments, I had cleaned out the front shed - really cleaned it out - not just reorganize the same crap, I had picked up the back yard - got rid of ripped tarps and a kiddie pool, I was on fire. But nope, that wasn't good enough either. S doesn't want to spend the $35.00. He wants up to wait until the clean up day with the city. So this morning I hauled all this stuff back into our back yard, piled it as high as the fence and condensed as much trash as possible to go out with the normal pick up. I called the city and canceled our bulk pick up. Now there is a pile of pure shit in our backyard. And in case you were wondering, I still have a broken arm.
I was so mad last night that I could feel my pulse racing through my body. I do not think I have ever been that angry about so many different things. And I am still just that upset. There is more to the story with S. He called yesterday to say that the orders he was expecting from New Mexico were denied and he has to go on a short tour next. He was having a really bad day. A short tour means he goes to Korea for 1 year or some other remote assignment without C and I. My heart sank in my chest when I heard this. Even though you know it could happen, it still surprises you when it does. But to my credit, I kept it light, I said that everything was going to be okay, we'd work it out, that C and I support you (S) no matter what, that we can handle it and he doesn't have to worry about us - just work on getting the best remote for his career that he can and that we'll be here when he gets home.
There was a mini argument between this next one. All you need to know really is that I was right. It was about 6:30, C and I just got home and dinner wasn't even started. The dog was barking, the kid was yelling, S was on the computer, the doorbell was ringing, and I still had my keys in my hands. It was mass chaos. As if all this craziness wasn't enough once dinner was actaully cooked and we ate the boys wanted more and I had only made enough for one serving each. So they were heating up more. We were just watching TV anyway so we paused it and I quickly went to the computer to remove my Power Wheels ad from Craigslist, only to find out that C had been in a fight on the school bus (my email is my start page). So then S and I had to argue about how that was handled.
Later that night once he was home and C was in bed we talked about it a little more and that is when it all just fell to shit. I asked S when he'd go and he said March. I suggested that if that happens, C and I could stay here until the end of the school year and then move back to Massachusetts for the remainder of the time. S freaked. He certainly doesn't want that. He was acting like that was in stone or something and making accusations like "It sounds like that it what you really want to do" as if I wasn't considering his opinion or if we could even make that work. We were just talking in what ifs. I tired to explain my suggested option by saying I'd like the opportunity to explore that option, and asking him to see this from my point of view; I am scared, he might be gone for an entire year and I have no one here. My friends have moved and my family lives 8 hours away. I only have a part time job and no real ties. Furthermore C won't have a dad around, and I thought his God Father and his grandfathers would be good for him. S's reply "don't you think I am scared too?" Asshole, you totally missed my point. Your right - it is all about you, sorry I forgot to stroke your fucking ego for two seconds. But that isn't what I said. I just placated the situation and asked that we wait until he actaully has orders before we make any plans and I suggested we just watch TV and relax.
This is too much to handle. Is it so wrong to want a cleaner house, a kid that doesn't get in fights, a husband that can just let me be right without a fight, and to not just be heard but understood and validated? Apparently so.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Me: "So C how did you like Cub Scouts tonight?"
C: "Pretty good. Casey was there with her brother."
Me: "Oh how is she?"
C: "Good, we played tag. I wasn't so sure about Scouts this year, but if Casey is going to be there, I'm in."
Me: "You sure like her, huh?"
C: "Well, so far this year Augusta is my girl friend, because Casey is in another class, but if Augusta isn't there, then I like Casey."
2nd Grade PEOPLE! 2nd! He is a riot. He also explained that another little girl he is friends with is going to be his girlfriend next. He's a player. Hard Core.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Wow, we just had the mother load of all yard sales. S and I inherited some furniture from my grandparents after they both passed and once we actaully got it into our house (thanks to my mom and dad) we realized their used 30 + year old old-lady furniture is way nicer than our move around the country garage sale and family left over finds. So we got rid of a ton of our stuff including chairs, tables, a bed room set (although we sold that one on craigslist a few weeks ago - it couldn't wait) plus a whole slew of stuff C out grew, including his armoire and end table. So happy to see all that crap go! Once we established that it was the end of the day I loaded my car and high tailed it to Good Will. Now, what to do with the $$$
The cash didn't even last until the end of the sale! Scott had to leave and register C for CCD, that cost $100.00. Then S was like, "hey I need $50.00 for my fantasy football league", and then C was like, "where's my cut?" then S says "oh, and we need $25.00 for the concert tonight and money for parking" There isn't much left over but I'd say it will buy us a nice lunch tomorrow and maybe even a few gallons of gas.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I am not quite sure how I am in, but I' m in. Blogger won't let me log in saying that I have two accounts with gmail and blogger using the same address. Well, yeah - how many email address does one need? I am so confused :)
The latest with my arm: The elbow healed fast, but after seeing the ortho doc it was determined that I had five broken bones in my arm (two are fingers - so those might not really count) and an unconfirmed number of broken ribs. I was too bruised for xrays of my chest. But as the swelling goes down I can pretty much pin point the three if not four that are broken. So if you haven't been counting .. that is a total of 9 possible broken bones, 5 confirmed. All because our neighbors left their dog unattended in their front yard.
Honestly I could have really sued our neighbors. But it was just an accident and the dog was not vicious by any means. So, they ended up paying for a replacement pair of glasses and we called it a day. The homeowner even came over last night to express how sorry they were and to thank us for not reporting them. But you know, accidents happen. We have a big dog too, and what if she got loose and wanted to ride a bike with someone too? I am just trying to add to the karma bank; I suppose.
There is so much to update on but to keep it short: I am trying to stay positive and thankful but the chip on my shoulder is growing so heavy that I am having trouble standing up straight. FET is over, no good news there. My bones are broken and I am sore. We are do for orders but so far nothing. S is freaking. S had surgery on his foot (planned) but he isn't healing properly and the pins that were put in have shifted and caused infections. I could go on and one. But to switch it up, there is some good.
C started 2nd grade today. He looked so darn cute in his new shoes and backpack. Such a sweetie! We had a great couple of weeks with my parents. One week here and one in Massachusetts. I got to see one friend when I was home, Mar - who just happens to be a sweetheart and always visits with my family too. We also had a family BBQ, with full contact Wiffle Ball, it is becoming a tradition.
Well, the to do list is extensive and includes unpacking heading out in the rain for Diet Coke. Good Times:)