Here is the point in which I get tired of listening to myself bitch. The conclusion; that in order to proceed I must put on my big girl panties and deal. Proof: Last night I had a dream that I opened a restaurant and I was inviting celebs to an after graduation party. Eight grade ... yet I was doing shots. It was weird and very long. Disturbing mostly. My life is what is and changing it all at once, fixing the parts that drive me crazy or dissatisfy me, will only create more chaos and resentment. So like I said, big girl panties, or take the stick out of my ass which ever you prefer. Time to take my own advice and prioritize using baby steps.