Monday, July 27, 2009

Like, slow down man

So, they are gone. The stories could stupify, but who care? I've got more important things to dwell on.

  1. Moving is just around the corner. The movers come Thursday. I am so not ready.
  2. There is so much to do, cable, health care, phone, power company issues
  3. I'm working on my taxes. My 2009 DC taxes were never received. It is a pain, but I don't have to pay any fines because I was owed a refund. I just have to refile.
  4. C is bored to tears around here, so I took him to a friends for a while.
  6. Organizing - that might be hopeless
  7. Celebrating, after all we are moving and they are GONE!

So, I know I am way behind on my own blogging and reading all my friends blogs - comments to come next week I hope. This cable should be off tomorrow or Wednesday sometime and the new house won't be set up all that fast. I'll get there. Also, I am over due for some letters.

  • An open letter to Tricare
  • An open letter to Dominion Power
  • An open letter to Coca-Cola
  • An open letter to the new neighbors
  • An open letter to Mother Nature (continued)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I forgot - one more annoying tid-bit during last nights tirade:

L: "I was praying to Jesus this vacation would get better."

During our prayer before dinner:

D: Thank you Lord for this food, and this great day with friends and family

L: And thank you Jesus for answered prayers. <>

Yeah - at least it is 'getting better'. BS -I did nothing today, I wasted a day of packing. For me packing is fun. It is the only week S has off from school - next week he will be working and be back at school. Why can't I take advantage of this? Rhetorical.

F You B

I only have like two minutes before someone is over my shoulder - but I just have to get this one out.

L & D are always telling us that L gets up in the middle of the night, eats a little bit of ice cream and then goes back to bed, but she never remembers it because of her medications. So last night, I am the only one up. It is 11:00 and L sneaks down the stairs. She goes in the kitchen and gets a bowl of ice cream. I ask her if she needs help, if she is okay, and if she is sleeping okay. She doesn't answer. She eats the ice cream, washes her dishes and then comes into the living room and stands in front of me. I ask her again if she is okay and she starts talking a little and petting the dog. She says she has that restless leg syndrome and it keeps her from sleeping.

So, fine, she is up, and we start to watch Army Wives together (I love this show). Maggie, the dog, starts to get a little restless and I comment, "Maggie, you are wild tonight" then I throw her ball. L says "that is because you deserted us tonight." (I took one load of boxes over to the new house) Then she continues to insult me and act like a complete B, saying things like "well, if you weren't so busy..." & "Hmmm, if you didn't just leave me alone..." & "I know you don't really want us here" & "Maybe we should just go home now." I just sort of looked at here with wide eyes. She was talking fast and on a tirade. Then she just sort of makes this Humph noise and says "well, I am going to bed, D is really irritating me too, so I guess it is no different." Then she stomps, yes stomps, upstairs.

And this morning... she "remembers nothing".

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Day 3

They have been here for three days. I officially need a break. Proof:
  • L: Oh you seem so much happier now, what have you been doing? Thought to self: No shit, last time you saw me, I was in the middle of a miscarriage.
  • L: You just look so much better than you have in the last few years, I can see it in your eyes. Thought to self : gee thanks, so I basically have spent the last two years looking like a horses ass?
  • L: We told C it was tubby time. I respond : "I already told him I'd make brownies with him before hand." L : "ahh, don't do it on my account, I don't like brownies." Thought to self : Shut up. What I actually said "Well C does." Thought to self : snap at me, and I will snap right back.
  • L: Worcester schools are so bad, I don't know why any parent would send there kid there. Me: We actually considered it, having me stay with my parents so C could go to Flagg street, I wasn't going to just wait around here for a school. L : Goes on and on about how horrible our hometown is (I love it - Ghetto parts and all) and that she would have paid for him to go to a Catholic school. Thought to self: Shut up.
  • L: Blah, blah, blah, church, church , church (I wasn't in the mood) Me: "If it was up to me I would even go, I don't like the priest." L: blah, blah, blah. Thought to self: Errrr, J, why on earth would you divulge more info than need be - you idiot.
  • L: Eeeww smells like dog in here.
  • L: I was coming down the stairs and all I could smell was dog
  • L: Dogs smell, cats don't really. Thought to self: Cats smell like ass
  • L: ... Does it even matter what she says - my negativity towards it just makes it worse.

Also, they gave me a check for 100 bucks for food. Pretty nice really, but then they brought like two bags of groceries that they are keeping in their room ???

There is such a double edge because basically L is really nice - she just doesn't have a knack for diplomacy. And me being passive aggressive doesn't help.

One funny thing : L & D love one of our area junk / thrift stores. I just donated two truck loads of stuff there after a yard sale. Today we went over there. L is looking around and finds a few books she gave me, with her note to me still taped to the front. I never even read them. I tried to act like I did - but you can't really fake that. Oops.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

And She Lost It ...

8:30 am - walk C to VBS
9:15 am - get home, start laundry
10:00 am - clean bathroom
10:30 am - fold laundry
10:45 am - leave to pick up C from VBS, go to Subway with friends, & walk home (90 + degrees)
11:35 am - Scream as loud as I could for my child to STOP - he didn't stop and went two steps into the street and almost got hit by a car. He was chasing a rock he threw into the road while aiming at a tree, he missed and almost hit the car in front of the one that almost hit him
11:36 am - walk crying kid to Subway while having a "big talk" about safety and listening the first time
11:40 get to Subway, sit crying kid down on chair with other hot and bothered kids while the grownups get food.
11:55 Kids stop fussing and are eating nicely - too hot to go back outside... so
12:15 pm - take C and friends kids into store to look at toys
12:18 pm - pull hair out
12:20 pm- round up kids go outside
12:22 pm - correct boys for running outside before the group arrived
12:22:30 pm - ask boys to stop playing hide-n-seek in the mulch
12:22:45 pm - get boys out of mulch
12:23 pm - tell C to get back out of mulch
12:23:30 pm- tell C that if I need to talk to him again he will have to hold my hand the entire way home
12:24 pm - C races J, his friend. J is on a bike, C is running. C catches up, C pushes J in the back.
12:24:30 pm - I loose all sense of calm and yell for him "C over here NOW!!" Take deep breath, grab his hand and let him know that we do not push.
12:25 pm - C holds my hand and cries the entire way home while screaming things like "I am the worst boy ever!", "You are never going to love me again!", "You're going to bust me." "I hate this day!", "Please just give me another chance, don't you love me?" and other assorted horrible things. I tired to ignore him - tried - being the operative word. When C screamed "Can't we just talk about it?!" for the 100th time I snapped at him and said "No, there is no need, you pushed your friend and that was mean. If I see it happen again you will be grounded, you are old enough."
12:40 pm - we arrive on our street. C screams "What now, are you going to kill me." The mailman was putting mail in our box, I was going to smile, but I am sure that wasn't appropriate. I just pretended he wasn't there. So I just told C "I love you no matter what, and you are going home and taking a nap.
12:45 pm - the fit continues as we walk in the door, he takes his shoes off and cries all the way to bed.
12:45:30 pm - go in his room and put his blanket over him, kiss him on the head, even though he turned away and say "I love you, have a nice rest"
12:46 pm the screaming gets to be ear piercing
12:45:30 - C passes out.

Please tell me someone out there is having a better day.

12:43 am

I just finished mopping the down stair's floors. I also managed to squeeze in 5 loads of laundry between 8-12 and roll up the dining room rug and put it out for the trash which is picked up tomorrow - or today as the case maybe. I wish I had time for more, but I am too tired to lift another pledge grab-it, swiffer, broom, Clorox mop, regular mop, or anything in between.

Today we got the keys to the new house. It was really exciting to know that we will be living there soon. Especially when it took us over an hour to get back to DC - just knowing that drive is behind S - is a huge weight off our shoulders. But back to just me :P)

As mentioned before the house backs up to a golf course. The last time we were in the back yard we didn't see any golfers, so S and I both were thinking that it must just be the back edge of a hole and we wouldn't see all that many. We were wrong. LOL - There are golfers right there about 50 feet away from the deck. C found three golf balls today. I want to keep a running tally. It seems important.

Day 1 - we saw the house, 9 balls found
Day 2- we get keys, 3 balls found

Should be an interesting summer and fall.

Monday, July 13, 2009

What's the Point?

An Open Letter To Discover Card,

What the F is the point of having online services if you are going to flag an account for fraud if the member tries to use it?

This weekend I advanced a large sum of money into my checking account to help with moving expenses. Today the money should have arrived in my bank account, however there was a delay. While researching the delay I logged into my account. The account is 99% paperless. All payments are made online, and I have only used a few checks over the last 15 years. The researching revealed that there was a hold on my account due to an Internet transaction. Well, DUH.

Thanks Ass Holes. You have really through a wrench in my week.

Not sure how I am going to dig my way out of the hole you created.

Dear Readers, let this be a lesson. If your savings account says it takes three days to transfer and you CC only takes 1, rearrange your life and stick with the savings. Stealing from Peter to pay Paul, backfires!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

An Open Letter to the BAFB Catholic Parish

Dear St. Michael's,

For fear of being struck by lighting causing me to plunge into the depths of hell I have avoided this "confrontation" for eight days. I am now equipped with a lightning rod and rubber soled Nike's, so Kiss My Ass.

Currently you employ a priest whom I find angry, harsh, mean, arrogant, rude, and void of empathy, forgiveness, happiness, and over all peace. Putting in lightly, he isn't nice. I would like to offer proof from past sermons to support my feelings. Here are a few memorable phrases he has used in his sermons, and one in which he said to me personally.
  • "If you say, oh I love you, I WILL NOT SAY IT BACK" He proceeded to tell us that unless we show him we love him he will not reciprocate this emotion. Just using I love you as a praise for a good deed or kindness is silly, and disrespectful. My response to this in my head "Well, then fuck you." This was the first or second sermon he gave when he arrived at our parish
  • "If you do not confess to me, you are protestant" This has been a line given mostly during Lent of this year. It is just rude. He speaks with the fire and brimstone and yells at us that we are just going through the motions and should not be receiving communion unless we are pure. Well, excuse me Mr. Theology, but God tells me, yes me, and anyone else willing to read his word that in order to go to heaven you must be not of this world and eat the flesh of Christ and drink the blood. So, who are you to tell me the truth is something different? Well anyone attending with any regularity knows you have a lot to say about it.
  • "Who am I to tell you what to do? I am the priest, I am chosen to lead, I know the truth!"
  • "oh you, J****, you never come to church?" WTF asshole - I hadn't missed a Mass at St. Michael's since Christmas when I was on VK and went at home. It was April. Also - we don't skip church. We go to church. I shake your had every week. I wave to you when I see you around base, I talked with you personally and introduced my son when you were meeting with the children for a special mass. I stood by my husband while you two talked for 15+ minutes about KofC last week and he introduced me then too. - So, I was a little miffed. It doesn't help my cause.

So then last week:

His sermon revolved around listening to the truth. He told us how in his country you have to listen and if not he will have to daze you. He explained this as slapping someone really hard. He told about when he taught the word he would explain the rules to his students and if they did not listen he would have them call their parents in and he would daze them. He said that even now when he calls home to talk with his younger brother, if he does not listen to the truth then he will tell him, I will daze you. And then he says "and I will, I will write it down and the next time I see him, I will daze him, I will not forget". Really - is this what is suppose to guide me in my path? I left feeling like crap, not like I just received the light of Christ.

I missed the message, but I did catch the arrogance and complete lack of empathy for his parishioners. When he explained that if he made people angry he was doing his job, making them think about the truth. No, that isn't it buddy - you just make them miss out on the awesomeness that is Christ. Thanks.

I will not be returning. As you can tell by my letter, last weeks sermon and past experience has not brought out my most Christian attitude. My apologies,


Missing out.

Sunday, Sunday

I have a few letters to write. One is to our church, specifically the priest - but for fear of being struck by lighting and driven into the depths of hell, I will put it off a few more days. The second is to the commissary - yet again. I might get to that one tomorrow, but as for today, I am just enjoying the sunshine.

Our yard sale went great. We sold a boat load of stuff and made over 250.00 which is amazing for here - normally a yearly clean out would only bring in 50.00. But this time we had more room and bigger items like our bar (sold for 50.00) a 37" TV (found on curb a month ago, sold for 25.00) and some odd ball tables & chairs. My neighbor, T, had hers at the same time. Our other neighbors to the right moved out about three weeks ago so we were able to span from her corner lot across three driveways and lawns. It looked pretty impressive. We held the sale on Friday & Saturday, but ended up spending all day Thursday outside preparing. It was sort of fun, in a hard work type of way. I am going to miss T, a lot & her kids. The kids were so good. All of them just played in the toys we were selling. On of T's little ones A pretended she was a puppy for hours one day and was perfectly happy to stay in an old dog bed we had for sale. It was so sweet.

On the 15th we can start moving into the new house. Because the W's are coming this Thursday we are going to ask them to help us pack and take our time getting the little stuff over. Tomorrow I have to set up the movers to come, I am hoping I can hire someone for the 24th or somewhere close to that anyway. There is one company that offers you a truck and two day laborers for only 50.00 an hour - but I am sure they are not insured, so We'll have to keep looking.

S is at church this morning. C & I stayed home. I am done with the on base church. Not to say I won't go again before we go because it is nice to say goodbye to people we know, but there is no need to waste my time. There is no sordid story - just facts, arrogance, and cultural differences that interfere with the idea of Sunday Worship. The letter will explain it all - maybe I better get to that one sooner than later...

Thursday, July 9, 2009


I am in a tizzy, not sure which is up, down, sideways, or inside out. Yesterday we rushed to get the new lease notarized, which was a huge relief - but then we noticed an error. The prorate for the half month is off by 40 to 60 dollars depending on which way you do the math. So, hopefully we don't have to get the thing stamped again, and can just adjust that page. Not that it is a huge deal, but it is a bit of a pain the neck.

We are having a yard sale on Saturday. It is going to be huge. The house is torn up, the garage is inhabitable, basically there is just crap everywhere. All week I have been meaning to get going with the organization but Monday I had kids all day, Tuesday we went to the pool (summer was calling), and yesterday T and I took the kids to a huge park in Wheaten. The park was so cool, it had the biggest playground I have ever been too, a train ride, and a carousel. But, alas that means I have a ton of stuff to do.

Last night I watched one of my favorite movies, Pump up the Volume - don't ask me why it is a favorite, I just love it. It ended around midnight and for some reason I had a second wind and started cleaning. The kitchen was first, then the dining room, then the bar, then I started on the hallway and noticed it was past one. It was nice to wake up to a clean down stairs. Not that it was filthy, there was just yard sale piles everywhere and S cleaned out the back of his car and there was T ball crap all over. Funny, but I will probably make an even bigger mess today when I get up the energy to organize the "merchandise".

Hmmm, also C has bible camp next week - the in laws are coming next Thursday - We have to go get keys to the new house on the 15th, Get the utilities turn on, return library books, pack, and return DMV tags from my old car - OOPS - then we will need to register the new car in VA, call DC to find out where my tax return is (pain in the ass!), and we have no food. Tizzy. Frenzy - call it what you will.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


We got the house I wanted. Yippee. A cute, split level, three bedroom with a nice kitchen, family room, and big back yard. It is all ours for the next two years. Happy Me.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Keep it Short

A conversation between my mother and I.

Ring, ring.

Me: Hello

Mom: Hey J did you guys get the house?

Me: We don't know yet, we should here tomorrow. So how was your 4th?

Mom: It was nice we had a picnic, we missed the parade and everyone else went to the fireworks because I had a headache.

Me: Oh, parts of that sound like fun, how is your head.

Mom: Oh it's fine.

Me: That is good, if it makes you feel any better, I saw great fireworks but got bitten by chiggers.

Mom: Well you know I changed planes.

Me: Yea ??

Mom: Well that is why I missed the fireworks, my head hurt from an ear ache. So hopefully my head will just feel better in time to get on a plane this weekend.

Me: But your better, and it is Monday?

Mom: Well, gotta run it is breakfast time.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Second Time is A Charm

Dear Mother Nature,

Fine, be that way! At least things were productive this time around.

Signed - the BIG O FACE

Friday, July 3, 2009


We found a house. We put in an application and now we wait. It is the nicest one we have looked at, a little on the smaller side, but quite nice all the same. It has three bedrooms, living room, family room, office, kitchen, dining room, and a big laundry room. The back yard is huge, fenced in and get this - overlooks a golf course. One more selling point - it is like 450 bucks under our USAF allotment. I kept asking the Realtor, D, what was wrong with it. She said she hadn't shown this before but that there were two issues she could see, one it is a managed property so people need good credit, and two it has three small bedrooms and most people with a family in need of the yard have more than one child. "Oh" was my patented response to that. Then after viewing the house a few times S asked if we could see the garage, and D and I were both like, "there isn't one?" But S said there was a door for one out front. (there was a car parked there from another agent when we pulled up) So we all trek out front to see a garage door - but here is what is wrong with the house. Someone built the "office" where the garage would be but never blocked up the garage door. LOL so the garage is only eight feet by two feet. So there, that is why it is cheap - and it doesn't even matter to us.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

An Open Letter to "Mother Nature"

Dear Mother Nature,

WTF? You'd think I was new at this! For the sake of over sharing to the point of making you throw up in your mouth, I'll explain. No worries, I'll keep it brief, after all I am pissed at you and don't really want to hear your lame ass excuses in return.

For over four weeks you had me hemorrhaging and cramping. For eight weeks before that I wasn't allowed to have sex. So for the sake of argument, I haven't gotten my kicks since April! So finally the attempt is made, and it sucks.

Yes, sex is now sucky. I repeat, WTF? The bang did not produce a big bang. Things are wound so tight that {as said before} you'd think I was new at this. Yes, I mean literally tight, as in small, as in no room down there, as in OUCH.

That covers my complaints today. I would appreciate it if my anatomy could return to normal.

No O Face For Me!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Tanner Than You'd Think

C and I walked to the pool today and were there for three hours. It felt great. Right after we got in the pool a group of day campers arrived. Fortunately the councilors did a great job of playing catch with them and other water games in the low end so we just moved to the deep end. C is getting to be quite the fish. The rule for the pool is the kids have to wear a life vest while jumping off the diving board until they pass a swim test. C can totally swim, and very well, but he won't take the test, which only consists of the child swimming two laps without touching the bottom of the pool. Anyway, he wore his jacket the whole time and probably did sixty jumps in three hours. He had a blast. What is great about it too is that I can actually swim while he plays. I sort of like this age, although I sooooo miss two, super cute, NAPS, no talking back .... ahh toddlerhood. LOL.

So, we bought new sunblock a few weeks ago. It is SPF 85. Has anyone noticed the big numbers out there? I figured the bigger the better. WRONG. We reapplied every hour and still I am wicked dark. Granted I did have a slight tan from last week when I forgot sunblock for the first 45 minutes in the pool, but still. It is so funny to see the difference between my arm and my stomach.

I could go on and on - and tell all about the "sexy" 10 year old (super gross -aren't her parents concerned?) or about the plump kid that needed all his friends to be watching as he dived off the board (he took forever to jump) but who cares - we had fun - although the parents of that girl better get on track soon.

Anyway - we looked at houses yesterday - they were gross. One was moldy, one was smokey, and two were on busy streets. I contacted a rental agent to help us. She sent some ideas but only one would really work. We should be going to see it tomorrow. House hunting isn't all that much fun. You think you can do it by just looking online, but really online is never the whole story. Oh and in one place yesterday the realtor yelled at C. How weird. He said he didn't want C to touch the mold on the wall and was sorry - but he scared the crap out of my kid. We aren't yellers and he was stunned. What a dick.

The new girls ideas: