Thursday, December 31, 2009

An Open Letter

At what point did my blog turn into a boring account of each day with an occasional fart story thrown in rather than a ranting raving collection of embarrassing stories and passive aggressive letters to those who had wronged me? It seems I have lost my edge. Such is life I suppose. But I do have a new one... to my MOTHER IN LAW.

Last night I was watching mindless TV after the boys went to bed. My mind kept going over my time with the W's. Really - the visit did go okay, but you know - I am going to take major credit in that. The woman is so damn negative that it literally can make me ill. When I think back to some of the things she said I am dumbfounded that I let these words pass without a peep. One thing that keeps bugging me is her insistence that 2009 was a terrible year and she is happy to see it go. How rude. Maybe it is because I hold self acclaimed Jesus Preachers to a higher standard, but seriously - a bad year? Hmm lets think about that:


This year you and dad were able to go on a few vacations. You had a nice trip to one of your favorite old spots Plymouth, MA, you also got to visit the DC area two times in 09 to see your grandson. Both times you were invited into a warm loving home. Both times your family prepared their home with the food you like, the softest sheets on the bed, the best bath and body works trinkets in your room, and plenty of ideas on entertainment for the week. It isn't our fault that you were a complete bitch the first visit and consequently over compensated for that on the second.

In the Spring you were in the hospital for over a week with a sever intestinal issue. You were so fortunate to be able to get to a doctor. Your insurance and Medicare paid for your visit and you were well cared for. A few of your medications were altered as the physicians tried to figure out how to heal you and that did cause some discomfort but the end result was LIFE and with in the next week you got to go home. Praise the Lord!

In late fall Dad went in for a scheduled surgery. He healed so fast and was back to work with in a week! Praise the LORD! A bonus blessing, because you were in the hospital first Medicare covered your high insurance family deductible for the year. If that hadn't of happened Dad's copay for surgery might have been over 2500.00. Praise the LORD.

This year you lost a friend in two ways. The first, you realized after a long struggle that your friend wasn't really a true friend. Sadly you discovered the she wasn't being truthful in many aspects of life and you began to cut ties with her. Shortly after she passed away. Grieving isn't an option yet because you are still bitter over the friendship. The situation is not ideal and it is a little hard to see God's plan as of yet. But Praise the LORD, he will show you the way. In the mean time stop being selfish and pray for your friends soul.

This year you came to a self professed unwritten and unspoken agreement with your mother in law, she finally has stopped the snotty comments and hurtful ideas about you and Dad. Honestly, you are over sensitive, but still I praise the LORD that you do not have to feel that hurt anymore. Mother in Laws know not what they say!

In other news, your son turned 33. He is doing great in the Military, has a successful career and loving family. He even went back to school this year. Your grandson turned 6 and lost all his front teeth, he looks so sweet in all his pictures. He is so excited about life, full of energy, caring, and wicked smart. Your daughter in law, well she is a saint. With in your immediate family there was also a lot going on.

Your mom unfortunately broke her hip this year. She slipped at the hair dressers and was rushed to the hospital. Praise the LORD she didn't fall at home by herself! Gram had such great insurance that the cost didn't cause major stresses and she was able to recover in a high quality rehab center. She recovered well and can still walk and drive at 86! Praise the LORD! Your brother K went in to remission from bone cancer, PRAISE THE LORD! Plus he was able to take care of your mother when you weren't able. He had stepped up as a savior of sorts to the family by declining an offer to move out of state with his company and accepting a layoff instead. He was offered a great severance package and was able to keep his insurance through the year and still see his cancer doctors. Moreover when he told his doctor that he would be loosing his insurance soon the doctor said "You will always be my patient and continue to see me - we'll make it work." PRAISE THE LORD!!! Your other brother continues to work hard and make sure that the family three-decker is cared for and that your mother and possible your other brother always have a rood over their heads. PRAISE the LORD! No one in your family has been put out in the cold, left alone in need of medical care, so broke they cannot buy milk and bread, no one has been left without hope or goodwill. PRAISE the LORD.

This year your section of Massachusetts was hard hit by a tree beetle infestation. The beetle worked its way into the center of the trees and hollowed them out. Thousands of trees in your neighborhood had to be cut down by the city. But Praise the LORD, the trees in your yard were not affected, leaving all the beautiful foliage in the fall and shade in the summer for you to enjoy.

This year you made the decision to pay off your mortgage early. Praise the lord, you are able, and during a recession while you are on disability. The disability that has continued and social security which has continued without much of a fight because you again were well insured and have amazing doctors. You were also able to make some home repairs and improvements in this time. The Lord just kept blessing you in these ways. PRAISE THE LORD!

So far I see a few unpleasantries but certainly more blessings. I see God always being there for you, always watching out for your family, always making a path to the light from the darker shadows. You cannot be that blind! You cannot claim him as your savior and then dishonor him by saying it was the worst year. You cannot claim and accept his grace and then piss and moan poor me. That is what a blog is for - get one - and stop voicing to others how horrible your life has been. You are influencing others to complain and be ungrateful. Stop preaching Jesus' love and live it. Be an example. Let us be the children and you the parent!

Praise the Lord for a wonderful and healing year, Praise the Lord for wonderful family and friends, Praise the Lord for your unborn grandchild and pray for more.

Basically - you can just shut up now.

Lots of Love

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Vacation Week

It is Vk week for C. Today is Wednesday and I am all ready out of play ideas. What is a mom to do?

Yesterday we went to the movies, we saw Alvin and The Chipmunks. As far as kid movies go - that one was perfection - sort of funny, lots of music, and a simple plot that even a six year old could follow. The best parts of the movie were one line jokes - after each one I could hear about twenty kids in the theater repeat it - it was so cute. I was really impressed with the crowd, a movie packed with mom's and dad's and vacationing kids and not one whinny, crying, screaming, or even talking to loud child. Might I say - it was all actaully enjoyable, so much so that I wish there was another movie C wanted to see.

In the afternoon we played Lego's together and did a lot of school work type stuff. Because of the snow days the teacher didn't send home any homework type projects and I don't want C to loose his momentum. He was just starting to make bigger strides. So, we worked on phonics and a few math workbook pages. I was surprised that he added twenty math problems on his own. In the past he would have only done one or two and then just waited for someone to help him. I'll have to pick out some more stuff for us to do tomorrow afternoon. I was also thinking we should do something fun but am undecided after a few events yesterday. What to do, What to do?

I have a coupon for Chuck-E-Cheese. It is the same one I get every month, 100 tokens for 15.00. Each game is one token, so the deal is great. We can go in there for two hours and C will come out with tons of tickets and small prizes - he loves it. However, I am not sure I want to go just yet. I am thinking I might tell him we can go tomorrow if he is good. I don't like dangling a bribe in front of him, but I am sort of at a parenting cross road over behavior this week.

The Dilemma:

My son has been angry lately. He is fine and happy when he is doing his own thing, running around the house playing war or making a mess with Moon Sand. He is perfectly happy playing a video game or watching iCarly. He is even happy to be in his room and play with stuffed animals. But the second I ask him to go out of the house or play a game or get dressed he starts with the annoyed sigh and then begins slamming things down instead of laying them down. C will just get so mad and it really is a struggle to keep patient and kind. For the first time EVER yesterday I sort of yelled and called him a name. I am not a screamer and certainly never have I called him a name.

Yesterday I didn't tell C I was going to take him to the movies, I wanted to surprise him. The movie started at 10:15, so around 9:30 I asked him to get dressed. He fussed a little so I told him he could play for ten more minutes. After that I followed him upstairs and helped him pick out clothes. He was acting so rude and angry, slamming down his toys, grunting with exaggerated sighs and just plain grumpiness. I asked him to turn around so I could help him with his shirt and he ignored me, so I asked again and this time when he slammed the drawer of his nightstand I just lots my composure. "Darn YOU! All I want to do is surprise you by taking you to the movies and you are just acting like a turd!, Get your self dressed and DO NOT come out until you are all the way dressed!" Then I left his room and went to mine. It took all my energy and might not to slam the doors.

When I was in my room I could hear him crying. I felt horrible but stuck to my guns and about ten minutes later he came to me all dressed and with a big apology. We talked about it, but I didn't feel confident that he understood the consequences of his behavior. He knew it made me upset, but he didn't grasp the idea of being respectful, and he completely ignored the explanation of Jesus teaching us differently. In the end I explained that we had to return his sneakers (his feet got bigger between Black Friday and Christmas day) and we had to go to the post office.

We got in the car and C says "Mom, can I ask you a question about a bad word?" and I reply "Go for it." And he says "What is a turd, and is it a bad word?" I said it isn't a bad word but we shouldn't say it and I am sorry. I didn't tell him what it meant. After we exchanged the shoes we went to the movies to the later show. C was very nice while we were there. When we drove up he said thank you and apologized for being angry earlier. He then said "Mom, you don't have to buy popcorn, I will just have the stuff you sneaked in in your pocket book" Of course he said this as we were buying tickets. LOL

In the end the day turned out good but I do not want to get in a cycle of bad behavior and rewards. It is a funny place to be and I am not exactly sure what to do. Stepping back and taking a look from the outside - C just seems spoiled. I'll have to work on that.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Cookies & ...

I gained nine pounds in a week. Is that physically possible? Well, yes it is, and I did it. In my defense I do make the world's best oatmeal raisin cookies and I am an amazing cook - the proof is in my new jiggle. Oh well, nothing like a diet for the new year. Cheers to that, or maybe an Amen.

On the 11th of January S and I leave for Vegas. I am super excited. I am planning my spa package and activities this week. I am trying to talk S in to seeing Holly's Peep Show, but he is not feeling it. Ironically, you'd think it would be the other way around, but no, I am the big Girl's Next Door fan. That is I was. I am not in love with the new set of "girl friends". I suppose I will live regarding that. But back to Vegas, my mother and aunt are coming down here to watch C. Isn't that awesome? They aren't really sure what they are going to do with themselves all day while C is in school so I though I would set up a few activities for them. I figure I can make manicure appointments, hair appointments, then leave gift cards for those and maybe a few eating places.

Last nights nightmares were subdued, thank God. This time I was just jumping of cliffs and while my life was flashing in front of my eyes I heard someone yelling at me to wake up. At one point I did wake up a little shaky only to hear my husband rip the loudest fart anyone ever did while they were snoring away. I went back to sleep only to work that in to a funny dream where S was telling me that if a tree falls in the woods how do you know if it makes a sound and he further explained that when someone farts in their sleep it is the same thing. That didn't wake me up but in the morning when I was trying to remember all my dreams and make note of them like the doc said, I started to laugh out loud and almost choked on my oatmeal. Apparently I am not unlike my six year old son. Farts just make me laugh. Poop stories do too.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Holidays

The Holidays are upon us. And as far as holidays go, this wasn't too bad. The W's behaved themselves, for the most part. L complained a lot, and I just ignored it. Consequently even I thought I was being a bitch when she'd talk and I just wouldn't respond. But my sanity seemed more important.

Christmas was rather fun. C was a blast to watch and he loved his gifts. Funny - his favorites are one that he actaully bought for daddy (Gears of War game) and one from S a four pack of play dough from the dollar store. The hundred dollar Leapster 2 - well, I think he has forgotten about it already. Maybe he'll grow into it. LOL.

Christmas morning C woke up at five-thirty. I was able to convince him to sleep for another thirty minutes, but even six felt like the middle of the night. So him and I got up and checked out the gifts under the tree. I put breakfast in the oven and we turned on Cartoon Network and watched our seven or eighth version of a Christmas Carol, this time it was the Flintstones. We snuggled up on the couch and C talked me into letting him open his stocking before everyone else got up. So he was chewing away on chocolate by fifteen past. When the cartoon was over we read from the bible. It was pretty cool because the sun wasn't up yet and all we had on for light was the Christmas tree. Finally around eight the rest of the family was moving around and we started the festivities. It was a really nice morning.

On the 23rd we went into DC to Ford's Theater to see a play, A Christmas Carol. It was a really neat version. C, Scott, and I had amazing seats and were really excited. All the singing and dancing was wonderful and the acting was brilliant. I wish we could do this every year. Certainly an awesome event.

In other news, the nightmares continue. A few nights ago I had the worst dream I have had in my entire life and it seems to be repeating just in slightly different forms. Christopher Walken and play dough haven't showed up in a while which is nice, but after the last few nights I wouldn't mind him trying to kill me again. Basically the dream is I take a pregnancy test and it is positive and I am so excited and praising God when suddenly the test starts to bleed ink everywhere and I know instantly that the test is broken and that I am not pregnant. It isn't just scary it is heart breaking. Last night I had that dream and woke up crying only to go back to sleep and dream that my old IVF doctor called to tell me I was idiot and will never ever in a million years have any more children. Then she laughs and sort of hiccups as she hangs up the phone. It is just so emotional and crazy. One day I couldn't get it out of my mind at all and S just pretty much guessed exactly why I was so upset. He knows I've been having crazy C. Walken dreams but somehow he knew exactly what was bothering me. Good Husband.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Little Sleep

The night before last I had to worst nightmares of my life. They were so frightening and sad that they haunted me all day yesterday. Even today I found my mind wondering towards them. Thankfully last night I was able to sleep without nightmares, but I did wake up every two hours or so.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Pushing My Luck

I just wanted to blog quick.

Amazingly the kids are being so good. Last night was a piece of cake. I had the little guy in bed by 7:30 and the big kids in bed and fast asleep by 8:30. I felt pretty accomplished. After all A doesn't go to bed until 9:30. But I swear she was begging to begin the sleepover at 7:00. I'd rather have kids to bed early and rise early than the other way around. But really the kids were up around sixish and just watched cartoons. I heard C tell A that they could wake me up at 7:00. Isn't that cute? They were so sweet.

Yesterday I got most of the cleaning done. Really I relented that most of it was unimportant and just did a few extras like the stairs and walls in the stairwell. The rest of it I just did as normal. Something funny; I almost wrecked my living room shelves, desk, and side table. I was dusting and thinking that it smelled so good. I thought I was using this pledge stuff that I like but in the end I realized it was Fabreze Spray. I don't buy air fresheners normally, but I have a stock of six that were under the sink when we moved in. Anyway I went back over the furniture and the spray had already started to soften the stain on the wood pieces! But alas, most of it came from somebody's trash anyway - still it is my treasure.

Once I was done cleaning I had time to read Malachi, which I probably haven't read straight through in years. I used an old bible and found a plethora of Joy of Living bible study pages in it. I used to belong to that group in Minot! What fun I had re-reading them. One one there was a prayer request for JM as her and her family tried to buy their first house, there was another for our leader's daughter to slow down in the boyfriend department, and another for S to be safe overseas. All of which were answered. It was really cool. As I ended the reading and all just as I zipped up the old blue case my friends arrived with their kids. Perfect timing. .

So much for quick.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Door Mat

I swear I am such a baby sometimes. I offered to babysit all night two kids. Sort of, more like I was told a friend was cashing in a favor. Anyway - I've got two extra munchkins tonight. Some parts might be fun. I worry about them with the dog though. It is a handful. Anyway - they are coming at four and I have so much to do. Then I just got a call from their dad (second time today) asking if they could come earlier because they want to go out to dinner early. And sure I don't really mind - I do love these kids, but actaully it isn't convenient and I am only allowing this IOU to happen because C has no school. But after this we are even. I will not feel guilty about past babysitting. They have two kids, it isn't the same when the watch C. I feel slighted, like it isn't acknowledged that their children might be a little more to handle.

Funny huh - I have so much to do but have been on the phone for hours and now and blogging about my misfortune timing. I better get to work. I want to mop the floors and steam clean the steps.

The In Laws

They get here tomorrow.

I hate when the house is messy or disorganized when company is here. Especially my mother in law. It isn't that the house has stuff in piles or dishes in the sink - I just have Monica closets. Especially the hall closet where the towels are. Also the guest room is atrocious with baseball cards everywhere. S is going to move them to our room tonight - oh joy. The boxes of cards are crazy and overflowing. But that I can relax about, after all S has to do it. If I dare touch his cards the earth might open up and swallow me. Granted if he actaully did house work the earth might actaully break open causing hell to freeze over.

I can say this because I suspect it might be true. My husband, although dearly loved and an overall good guy happens to be a stinker. Last night he remembered around 11:00 that he had to iron clothes for today. He comes into the computer room where I am wrapping up my eBay sales and asks where is the ironing board? And I let him know we don't have one and haven't had one since we moved. He freaks and starts ironing on the table, with nothing in between his shirt and the table! When I walk by I ask him what he is doing and he is so angry and annoyed saying "well what am I suppose to do?" My friends he was pissed off. Which really started to make me mad. It is NOT my job to iron his clothes. I do it out of the kindness of my heart. He could have worn something else -although he claims that every thing needs ironing. I hadn't seen him all day and now he finally has five minutes and he is whining about ironing and that his shirt won't loose the wrinkles. The steam was beginning to escape from my ears. If you ask him if it is my job or if he expects me to do any type of house work he'd say "no." But that certainly isn't how he acts when things get a little inconvenient. In the end I handed him a spray can of starch and he put a beach towel between his shirt and our table. But he huffed and he puffed and practically blew the house down in the mean time.

Oh well - such is life. And now I must clean the house for the company and try to keep C happy all day - I fear it will be a long one.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Bubble In Which I Lilve

So, crazy, crazy snow and endless hours of shoveling and watching the news report. But alas both S and I are hearty New-Englanders at heart so were just enjoying it. The roads aren't that hot but still C and I managed to go shopping for awhile to give S some peace and quiet as he worked on school. The side roads were rough but the main highway wasn't too bad. I figured there wouldn't be school for C tomorrow as none of the city sidewalks have even started to be cleared and the side roads didn't look too "bus friendly". But boy was I surprised when S checked the school website and found out school has been canceled for M, T, and W - and of course there is no school Th or F for the holiday. C is certainly in 7th heaven.

Here I am just now sitting down for the day, after snowball fights, shoveling, shopping, making cookies, talking to friends and family, and goofing around with C. It was a good day. Anyway - I check facebook and find that Brittney Murphy died. Isn't that crazy? She is my age. She was super crazy skinny and died of a heart attack of sorts. That is never a good combo. TMZ mentioned something about her having diabetes, but they can't confirm it. Sounds like speed or diet pills to me, hopefully for her family's sake I hope my amueture Dr G report is false.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I Heart Fridays

You know; I have had quite a few nice Fridays in a row. Today for example, I made my mechanic very happy, was able to do a lot of chores, watch TV, eat cookies, talk to my sister, make an awesome dinner, wrap the last two presents, walk to the dog, talk to my mother, and read - plus it is only three. Life is good.

So the mechanic; he called today to explain that he ordered the part for my car wrong and he was really sorry but the car won't be ready this afternoon unless he is able to have to right one delivered right away. He sounded so upset and worried that he wouldn't have my car ready. So I explained that I am a stay at home mom and can stand to be without a car for a few days and that I wasn't in the least put out by it. Then I told him to enjoy the weekend and get home before the snow hits. He sounded so relieved and kept telling me thank you and have a great weekend and have a good snowball fight. The car breaking down stunk, but only for a few hours, the estimate isn't too bad, I have the money in savings - Christmas is paid for - so really it is just inconvenient and nothing more.

Something funny for today: My dog looked so funny this morning, again spooning the big stuffed panda bear. She loves this darn thing and sneaks it out of C's room any chance she gets. It is a riot. When she starts humping it - I am sending it to the Good Will.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Karma- Sharmma

Sooooo I quit with no notice. Then this morning G calls and leaves a message for me to pick up the checks at the office and bring them to the bank. Apparently he missed my resignation letter. In response, I text him. I know - oh so grown up.

I go to the doctors and she tells me that stress is the main cause of nightmares, DUH, and that I seem to be dealing with it well, but it is still there and to take melatonin. Then she adds: "Give it until after the holidays, if it doesn't get better come back to see me and I will give you a referral for mental health." Of which I respond "Can I just have the referral now?" and she said "No." So there you have it, I have to take a natural supplement, I don't like them, they are not FDA regulated and they scare me.

After the appointment I went shopping on base. Loaded the station wagon up to the brim with holiday food and headed home. half way there I started having car trouble. I didn't make it home. Called a tow truck and eventually was able to have S pick me and all the groceries up. My ice cream is melted, the turkey started to defrost a little, and the frozen juices leaked. But other than that there wasn't much lost. I am so thankful I was able to get to the side of the road and not have an accident. I lost all power and function to my car, couldn't turn left or right, no gas, no power - no nothing. It was scary there for a few minutes. Thankful a friend of mine was able to help me by looking up phone numbers and offering to come and get me if needed. Thank God for her.

Also, I ate half a bag of combos for lunch. My MD appointment was early 9:50, so I didn't have breakfast. Then I was in the broken down car at the real lunch time. It wasn't until my friend called to see if I had been rescued yet that I realized I had a car FULL of food. I could have had my cake and eaten too! But alas, all I could really see were Combos. LOL - I am a mess.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I Quit!

I quit my job. There is a whole background story - but quite frankly I am tired of telling it. Simply stated: G was an ass one too many times and I decided that the job wasn't for me.

In other news; life is good. Christmas shopping is done, most of it is wrapped, and the craft projects are complete. Calenders, Iron-on transfer T's, A scrap book, Self Addressed & Stamped Envelopes (for my hubby - he sends away for a ton of autographs and inserts these, so I thought it would be cute to make him some off the computer), and tons of cookies are all ready to be enjoyed.

L has been on better behavior the past two weeks. I am not holding my breath to much, but there is hope. A despite all my jokes of staying completely lit while they are here, I have been praying on the matter quite a bit. Things are looking up.

I have an appointment tomorrow with the MD about the nightmares. That would be the end of the good news. Last night I had the worst nightmare of my life. I swear I can still smell it, and I have kept the bathroom light on all day. Wait -that doesn't really sound right.... It isn't what you think.

Last night I was sinking in Play Dough and Christopher Walken was trying to kill me. Both of which I have a real life fear of. It isn't fair - my sister is afraid of trolls - at least that is a normal fear. I would assume most people would be afraid when something is scary, and lets face it, trolls can be scary. Play Dough is not. But I hate it. The smell alone can, will, and has induced vomiting to the point of lost meals followed by dry heaves. Christopher Walken is probably my biggest scary phobia. He is my version of the boogie man.

History Lesson : When I was six we lived in a house where I had my own room. One night my parents put me to bed while there were still other kids outside playing. I fell right to sleep, but didn't think I did. I started dreaming, I suffered from terrible nightmares as a child until I was 7 and a half, I would even keep my sister up all night (we shared a room on and off as kids) trying to get her to play house with me after our parents went to bed just so I could stay awake. Anyway, I dreamed that I looked out my window and the kids were all running home and out of the bushes popped the boogie man in a trench coat and a brown fedora. Years later I came to realize this man was Christopher Walken, who much like my dream seems to pop out in unexpected places, in movies, weird videos, talk shows, commercials, and my dreams. Oh the man scares me.

So here I am dreaming of Christoher Walken tying to kill me and as I was running away, he was only walking yet was never more than 10 steps behind me, I get stuck in quicksand which turns out to be purple play dough with sparkles. The smell is causing blindness and extreme heaving and I am screaming. Next thing I know there is a knock at a door but I am in the woods. I just shake my head and I get out of bed to go see who it is. But no one is there. I pet the dog, turn out the night light and head back up to bed. I figured it was the paper guy, I think they come about three or four, anyway just as I pass the bathroom I notice someone is up. I figure it is S so I peak in to tell him I heard a noise downstairs but when I look in it is Christopher Walken! I really thought I was awake. And this ladies and gentleman is how a grown women practically pees her bed. I woke myself up screaming and trying to break free from my blankets. S was snoring away.

I have been screaming so much at night that I have kept a bottle of throat spray next to the bed because it gets so dry and hurts. Cough drops work too but I fall asleep with them in my mouth and I also worry about cavities.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Not a Forward Person

So I am not a forward type of person. I normally only read them from people who don't forward very often. Some friends and family just automatically forward messages and ill advised jokes. Anyway - this one I read and would have forwarded if I had any email address loaded into my account. LOL. So here it is:

Some Christmas Cheer

Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year
Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.
Kind of feel like I gave in to the man by taking him down but my neighbor did confirm to near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I made him too real this time

So it was fun while it lasted

Sunday, December 13, 2009


Just a few updates:

  1. The nightmares continue. I am calling the doctor tomorrow for an appointment.
  2. The VC Andrews kick is over. I have read them all, some twice. I just finished the most recent one that came out this year. Sick, twisted, incestuous, and predictable; and I loved every one.
  3. C is showing a little improvement in the phonics department. He is getting more sounds right and more sounds together. Today he spelled love; wuv; but last week he spelled it al;kdjfal;skdf; so we are getting better.
  4. I bought a tape dispenser. No, I haven't ever had one at home. I tell ya that 5 bucks was well spent. Wrapping presents for Christmas was never easier.
  5. I miss my Mom, Dad, and Sister - I watched a Paula Dean cooking show today and the host said that her friend asaparagus was the best way to "eat your veggies in an unhealthy way". It made me think of my dad. He'd never eat that - fried or not. LOL
  6. We need a new mattress. Last night I felt a spring in my butt. No - not up it just stabbing in the side! Really must we be so childish? ... Probably ... after all I don't seem to go a week with out blogging on some fart, ass, or crusty issue.
  7. I may have turned my husband to the dark side of life after 11 1/2 years of marriage. He is starting to have an addiction to Diet Coke. Up until recently he wouldn't touch the stuff unless we ordered pizza. Now I find myself hiding my cans in the bottom drawer of the fridge behind the batteries.
  8. Work is weird. I am milking it for what it is worth. G is strange and so is his business. It isn't a bad thing, he is just strange. He is called in two Fridays is a row and told me not to come in.
  9. This Friday I had lunch with a stranger. A man named John in his sixties from Fall River, Massachusetts. With a son named Victor and two other younger children a boy and a girl. His wife was from Thailand and that is where they met during Vietnam. He was so nice and his stories were fascinating. It was a good thing because the restaurant service was horrid and we were there for almost two hours. Long story but I'll keep it short (for once) Since I didn't have to work, I went to a grand opening of a restaurant near by. I got talking to the man in front of me as we waiting for the freebies they were giving out (free wings for a year) we didn't' make the cut off - no wings for me - but decided to stay anyway. In the end the place gave us free wings on our next visit. Stocking stuffer for S I suppose :P)

The Outlander

I joined a new book club. The first book I need to read is called the Outlander. I am 100 + pages in and already have three problems with this page turner. One, they just told me the year and the main characters name - weird. Two, I do not know where it takes place, Midwest either north near Montana, Dakotas, or Southern province of Canada maybe Manitoba or Alberta. The third is a biggie, in the first 50-75 pages ish, the author mentions that the "widow", the main character cannot really read. That in fact she marked her bible with symbols and characters to help her remember scripture. The author drives that point home when a kind Samaritan takes the women in and notices these symbols and remarks how well the widow recites. Then fast forward to page 100-120 ish and the widow is found by an outlaw in the woods who takes her in and while he is out she rummages through his stuff and reads his journals with out a problem??? Did I miss something?

This book is wicked good, but gosh this sort of stuff bugs me. Sort of like when a movie and a book don't match up on a just a small detail. Like in that movie with the girl who jumps backwards wishing she wasn't pregnant and then names her daughter Americus or something like that. In the book she was frighted on the number 5 and in the movie it was the number 7 - dumb details. In My Girl the main character gets her period and tells he little boy friend to come back in five to seven days and in the movie she just yells at him to go away. In Twilight Bella's room is yellow and just the way it was when her mom was there and in the movie it is blue and her dad buy new bedding for her arrival. Small details annoy me. I remember the stupidest things. Cant' remember the name or book of the first one, can't remember the characters in My Girl, and only remember Twilight because it is recent. How bizarre.

So, back to the book club. I have been trying to start my own however with the holiday season happening around us - the interest is on hold. I have been in contact with a few ladies in the area one is a ministers wife and two of her friends and the other is a women living just a few miles away. I advertised it as a Christian Book Club. Although now I am wondering what the heck we will read. There is a recommended series out there that is pretty new about a Christian Woman's club that I might try out but there is also a lot of boring crap out there. I might nix the project. I do not know any of these women personally and it might be for the best. I will have to keep mulling that one over. Anyway - the book club I joined is through a neighboring town's library and the books are free. A girl about my age from S's work invited me. She even got the next book for me when I wasn't there. Pretty nice.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Who's the Crustiest of all the Land?

C's Butt.

My child is gross. He is also stinking funny. Literally stinking. This morning C asked to take a bath so I filled up the tub. I hadn't had coffee yet and was anxious to get downstairs so I asked C to stick his head under the faucet to get his hair wet so I could wash it. So anyway we wash his hair and I take a seat and wait for the tub to fill up. For some reason this new bathroom freaks him out and he no longer will turn on a faucet or turn it off by himself. Anyway the water is running and C says "Mom I won't forget to wash all my stinky parts like my toes, my armpits, and my butt." I just sort of smile and say "Yup" and then my son turns around and sticks his butt right in the stream of running water. He looks up at me and says "What - I like to do this, it gets all those dry poops off that line in my tush"

Yes son your crack is crusty, use toilet paper. It isn't a job to be done later. Ironic isn't it since I have one who uses half a roll every time and one who thinks the stuff is poison.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I'm NOT Laughing!

Tonight during dinner C says "I have to go potty" and I reply "Well, what else is new - just go." Then S gets all indignant and starts fussing at C telling him he has to use the downstairs bathroom. C is just looking at him and asking why and S is getting more and more defensive and aggravated. As C leaves the room I ask S what the deal is and he just says "Don't worry about it." I figured that he left the door open to the guest room where the Christmas gifts are hiding. But I was soooo wrong. C returns from the bathroom and says "ha, ha Daddy I went upstairs." S starts yelling that C should do what we tell him and so on and so forth. Both C and I are just stunned and keep asking what is the big deal. Whatever; we finished dinner. I was all ticked off anyway because S just sat at the table going through paperwork while I was scrambling to get dinner served. No help - NADA. I get his drink, C get's the silver wear, and I serve him dinner. ERRRRR.

So anyway - dinner ends and the mystery of the off limits upstairs when S asks "Uhhh hunny, where do we keep the plunger?"

Normally I could just laugh this off but I swear I could be a fortune teller sometimes. I bought new toilet paper this week. It is the good kind and it is thicker than the Costco brand we normally get. So I tell my husband early in the week to be careful and do not use gross amounts of it or we'll have a problem. What do you know we had a problem. The man uses half a roll every time he goes. He refuses to go Cheryl Crow on me - but geez he could at least cut back! BTW we didn't have a plunger. I went to Walmart and bought one after dinner.

"Good Evening Walmart; I am a wife of a toilet paper abuser and I need a plunger please, oh yeah and this milk and peanut butter"

Monday, December 7, 2009

Are You Kidding ME?

The Monday bus deal happened again. I went to the stop 15 minutes early just to be sure. So I arrived at 1:20 and by 1:50 - no C. I rushed home, called the school in a panic just to learn he is now the last stop at will be there at 2:00. He got there at 2:06. I emailed the school with a large complaint about it. I also noted that I am not happy that C told me some kid pushed him down and he hit his head on a chair. Then he was crying so he had a time out by the door while the other kids were working on their math tests. The whole day was mass chaos for him. This can't be good.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Christmas Snow

It snowed today. I love it, love it, love it. We had so much fun playing outside and getting soaking wet, just to come inside get warm, change clothes and do it all over again.

We had snow ball fights, built a snow man, and chased the dog around a hundred laps just to try and get her to come back inside. The dog LOVES the snow more than we do! It was so cute and just plain fun.

Later on in the afternoon it was still snowing, C was off in our room watching TV, the dog was completely exhausted curled up in the living room and S and I were just chatting when I mentioned it would be a great night for a movie. With in a half hour we had the car brushed off and were on our way to see a Christmas Carol. We went to this really old junkie theater that only sat about 60 people! Junkie but really kind of cute and quaint considering the weather. It was the only one in town that was showing the movie normal and not in 3D. Anyway - it is S and mine's favorite Christmas story and it was so cool to see a new version of it. One funny thing; C and I had to take our shoes off when we got there. Our sneakers and socks were completely water logged because we both stepped in a huge slushy mess outside the parking garage - It felt so weird to be barefoot. C even ended up taking his socks off. At the end of the show each of us had a hard time getting our shoes back on because they were so wet.

After the movie it had stopped snowing so we headed out for a bite to eat. Which brings us here - hanging out in the den as a family, and all with new clean dry socks and slippers. C really should be in bed, but none of us really want the day to end. I love family days. It has honestly been so long since we had a day that wasn't planned or filled with obligation that I almost missed the opportunity by filling it with errands and small jobs around the house. Thank God for the snow - it slowed us down and helped us enjoy life.

Friday, December 4, 2009

What a Nightmare Part 2

I dreamed that my sister punched me as hard as she could in the forehead. I dreamed that someone, I don't remember who, punched me in the stomach and tried to kill me. I've also had nightmares about the house, the dog, the trees - and yes they were all trying to kill me.

I need to figure out why I keep having all these dreams. Last month they were about the same time so it could have something to do with my period and hormones. I was so tired last night due to the fact that I got no good sleep the previous eve that I went to bed at 8:00. I slept until 7:30 this morning. Which means that I missed trash day - second week in a row because we were away last week - and of course my husband doesn't even know when trash day is! Errr, but I digress....

I woke up at 7:30 and felt like crap because I spent the entire night running from killers and drug addicts trying to rob me and then - kill me. I never woke up but I felt like I did. At one point in a dream I was thinking "this is only a dream I can change it to butterflies and chocolate" but then it just went back to me running away from a guy trying to pull my legs off.

I haven't watched anything scary or even PG lately. What the hell is wrong with me? I wonder if I need new meds?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

In Rare Form, or Just Par for the Course?

Today I have done several things in which I am still deciding if they are out of character or not. Apparently if these actions are in character than I am a thief, quite vengeful, and as always my mother the martyr. The story is as follows:

Tuesday I cleaned my room. There was a pile of laundry to fold that made its way to the floor because we were in need of a basket for the actual dirty laundry. Anyway - I headed up there to fold it, change the sheets on the bed, dust, and vacuum. Four hours later I emerged. The laundry, the dusting, the vacuum, and the changing of the sheets took less time that sorting through all the crap my husband seems to pile behind the chair, on top of the dresser, to the left of the dresser, to the right of the fireplace, under the bed, beside the bed and up his ass. Just seeing if your paying attention....

So I clean up after him. I sort all his papers, put away his nick knacks and paddywacks, I repair a few toys sitting in his box under his nightstand and put them back in C's room, put the baseball cards back in the guest room (ohhhhhh that is a whole other ball game in there) and continue to clean up all his crap. The majority of which are clothes. Not surprisingly I found a basket of clothes (been there at least three weeks) under a blanket under some binders, under a bag of miscellaneous shed items (tape, a screw driver, some telephone cords - hello cordless since like 99???) and on top of that there was a few days worth of pajama bottoms. His clothes were everywhere. He takes up more than half the closet and his won't throw anything away. So today, my day to run errands; I returned all the clothes I got him for Christmas. Bye, Bye good GAP pajama pants, bye, bye, comfy t-shirt that matches. Revenge! Hmmmffffff. Ladies and gentlemen my mother, the Martyr.

I also had some other stuff to return, a Leapster to Kmart, bought the Spanish one and it doesn't play English games, to Old Navy because a shirt I bought didn't ring up as the sales price and I didn't notice, and then to Target and here is where the thief like behavior comes in:

On black Friday I bought C five shirts at 3.00 each. The sign said three but they rang up nine, I complained and got for three - yeah me. Then today as I am pulling all of S's Christmas presents out to return I see that one of the shirts I got C is smaller than the rest. So I bring it with my receipt back to Target. But there is a problem. I wasn't charged for it and there is no tag on the shirt. So as the sales girl and I are inspecting the shirt I see that it is a second anyway - the printed tag on the inside is half on the inside and half printed on the outside back. (Weird) There are five things on the receipt at 3.00 and I know one of them must be the shirt. So I say, well maybe the cashier rang up another shirt twice or rang in something else that is three dollars. The clerk was pretty nice and said something to the effect that there are no doubles on the receipt and in order to give a gift card back the shirt needs a price tag. So I just sort of shrug in disbelief and she says "well, we can take it off your hands if you want." and I reply "well, maybe it came from Wal-mart - I want to check all my receipts." and then I leave. When I get to the car I scour the receipt and notice that yes there are five things at three dollars but one is a mistake. When the original cashier fixed the nine dollar price tags to three buck she accidentally changed a pair of jeans to three. I wasn't charged for the shirt and I got a pair of jeans for three bucks. I left the parking lot with the shirt. Thief.

On a good note, I had over 95.00 in returns. I am rich.