Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sour Grapes

So, I am still a little ticked, but today was good - so that is something.

I had kids today. Lately they don't get along and I end up refereeing the entire time. But I figured since they are going to be here three days this week, I better make the best of it. So, I scheduled our time. We had an activity planned for every minute and I didn't falter. We played cars and built towers, read stories, did puzzles at the table, painted, did school (What's one more kid anyway), and danced. When their mom got here we all went to the playground. The kids got along great. Of course, I told them their only other option was to sit in the orange chair facing the wall if they didn't want to do the activity. We even used a timer. It worked well, and we are doing the same thing tomorrow. I was thinking of setting up an obstacle course for them while the baby slept. After all three more days of rain are coming.

So now, C is sleeping and I came upstairs to take care of some paperwork. I fixed the whole what to do with my 401K deal - which lost 300.00 since last time I wrote about it. ERR - that thing was a bitch to rollover - so I didn't. Who cares, taxes shmaxes. Then I got a letter from DC saying my taxes were wrong because they didn't have a copy of my W-2. Darn Jackson Hewitt. This is like the third time they got DC wrong. Oh well. Next was Jury Duty. I was suppose to have it in April, but I delayed it because of IVF. Then I attempted to deposit a check at home with USAA but for some reason my new scanner isn't picking up when I hit scan and then if it does things are blurry. I think I need to recalibrate it or something. Anyway I just ordered deposit slips instead. I get back to that someday.

Well off to make dinner. I have been dieting so dinners have been dull to say the least, maybe I will spice it up tonight, I was thinning Mexican Spaghetti or maybe a recipe my friend posted to facebook about sloppy joes and crescent rolls. Yum, they both sound good. TTFN.

Why Bother?

Focus or no focus, life isn't an easy. Joe wouldn't even look at the house with an open mind. He said it "surprised him". Only God knows how, since I have been looking at houses for months and sharing the news with him. Also two days before I looked at the house I emailed him asking what he thought. The owners wanted our application by today. Joe said we could talk about it sometime but he couldn't guarantee it would be before the application was due. Why bother? He is so unnervingly content with just waiting things out.

There is not much more I can say that wouldn't hurt his feelings. There is so much more I could say - but basically things are really bad and I hate it. USAF # 1, family a long distant 2.

You know, I don't ask for much. I really don't, but everything I do ask for has to be such a damn compromise.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Name of the Street is Funny

Today is better, C was really good while we ran around town today, and I seem to have found some focus. Elborations might bore the average reader, but what else are blogs for?

So, Cooper needs a new bike. He out grew his over the winter and it is really in disrepair, so even if we hike up the handle bars and the seat, the tires will go flat and the training wheels are premently rusted on. So, me being either practicle or stubborn - you can decided, decides that we are going to look for a bike under 45.00. Yesterday we went to six different places. Three thrift stores, the BX on Andrews, Wal-mart, & Target. Only the BX has bikes his size (16") but they were 74.99! That is nuts! I promised C I would teach him how to ride with out training wheels and I am not having him learn on at seventy-five dollar hunk of metal - the seat will tear the first time he falls, the handle bar covers will get scapped - Just nuts. So yesterday was kind of a bust. Although we really weren't out all that long, and got some other stuff done too.

So this morning there was this huge consignment sale at a local church. Everyone talks about this place as "the best place to go" for used kid stuff. So this morning C and I treked out to Alexandria, VA. What a nightmare. There had to be 400 people in a church gym litterally plowing through clothes and toys. If they didn't want them they would just throw them. I checked out the section of size 5/6 but there was nothing. Litterally it was an empty table, which was wierd becuase there was sooooo much stuff. Anyway, we left, but not before we got a look at the line - it had to be 100 people deep. Some people were going threw their bags and if they didn't like something they were just thrwing it on the floor. It was crazy. And to C's dissapointment they only had one girl's bike.

After that we went home and relaxed for awhile. I told C if we didn't find a bike today he could pick one off the internet tonight and he was actaully okay with that. He had me spell bike for him on a piece of paper and went upstairs to Google it. But I did have one more trick up my sleeve, actaully 2 - one giant thrift store that is about 45 minutes west which I new had bikes, and Toy R Us. Eventually we ended up at the far away thrift store and got the kid a bike. A really good one, for 24.99. They had three different ones for him to choose from. One was only 9.99 but the tires were flat - so who knows if it needed new tubes, tires, or both. His is a mini mountain bike. It is really cute.

So, in other news: I had been searching for homes to rent for months. I show them to Joe and he says some look good but he never wants to really go see them. Well, I found on on Craig's List the other day that looked perfect. C and I went to check it out today. It is a house, but the old garage is made into an apartment - and it is rented. But really you can't tell from the house at all. Inside is three bedroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, and huge screened in porch leading to the massive backyard. The home is a bi-level so when you go in the door you need to choose either upstairs or down. Downstairs there are a few storage closets a small den, fireplace, and laundry area. There is a four car driveway, and if we rented it we would share half with their other tenant. There is plenty of street parking. Also you can see the school from the kitchen window and backyard. The rent is 350-500 less than every rental in that area and the landlords will add it the average utility bill if you don't want to pay monthly for everything - and they gave me two years worth or bills as proof of the cost. The house isn't huge, in fact it is way smaller than this one - but it has a yard, is five miles from Joe's work, and it is in a really good neighborhood. It is on Kamputa Street and I want to live there.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Is it Me?

C and I are having a rough week. Between meltdowns, disrespectful actions, and down right disobidance I am at my wits end. I have been turning for guidence anywhere I can get it and the guidence sucks. Every Pro-Parenting resourse advice, I already do it, and do it consistantly. And it seems that no two Christian authors provide the same framework. I am not a spanker, never have been, so that is out of the question as a normal happening - it is not something I would be able to stick to or to consistantly apply. We have used timeouts and they have really worked until recently. Here is a quick run down;

In November I took C to the doctors and explained that I felt he was aggressive and lacked attention. She assured me that he was not ADD or ADHD and said it was a phase, that he could be coerced out of it with even more positive re-enforcement. She offered a plan which we are still following. The aggression has subsided, but seems to be lying just under the surface. Now it seems that the all the positive attention has created a really ... I can't even think of a good description, he is just either testing us to the nines, or is suffering, it is so hard to tell which. The other day he had a fit at the bowling alley - a really loud one, then today he took food from the fridge that I specifically told him not too. (He was sent to his room) It seems I need to up the ante, but with what?

Then there is the guilt. I have enough for a whole boat load of people. I know C would be happier at a real school. He longs to be other kids without me on the sidelines. He begs for it. I feel awful and defeated. First, there is not an opportunity to drop him off at an activity and pick him up later - it seems all home-schoolers around here hover over their children - plus each event they plan mandates that you be there. Second, the school here is too dangerous, period. His safety and his education would be in danger, and as a mother, I could not allow it. Why not move you ask? I want to so badly, but Joe just never complies. I can't take it anymore.

I think it is just the guilt that has me so worked up. I think I am just going to start taking away TV, by the day, it is really his only true currency.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Letter to the Bowling Alley

An Open Letter to the Bolling AFB Bowling Alley:

To Whom it May or May Not Concern:

I would like to take a moment to thank you for your dedication to the Bolling AFB, Services standard of mediocrity. Yesterday, 3/25/08, our family and friends had the opportunity to meet at your location for bowling and pizza. Upon arrival you informed us that the "kiddie" lanes weren't working and that it could take anywhere from 15 minutes to "maybe 2-3 hours". Some day I hope to return the service and inability to explain why this has happened today. Now, we do applaud your MANAGER for letting us know it was not his fault, and it was the compressor - because it wasn't turned on. However, at this time I would like to ask that you reemploy the soft spoken / whispering associate, although we could not hear a word she said, she did know how to turn on the compressor when she opened.
As you are aware, after waiting nearly 45 minutes, my child, age 5, began to have a melt down. I would like to apologize for having my child sit on the side lines screaming "I wanted to go first!" for a half hour. As you may of guessed I was hoping the fit would last a full 45. Again, so-so-so sorry it was a short meltdown.

Yours Truly,
A Fan!

P.S. I would also like to add that because of our location on Bolling AFB, I have had to edit this letter twice in order to spell Bowling correctly - But I know, I know, it isn't your Manager's fault.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

That's It!

I grounded my son to his room for the day. I haven't ever done that before, and I am not entirely sure it is what your suppose to do - but who cares! I am the Mom!

This morning was busy, but not so out of the ordinary. C and I traveled to Walter Reed to pick up some prescriptions, the drive is 45-60 minutes each way, plus a wait at the pharmacy. Round trip took us about three hours. But we were home by 11:00. He was really good during the wait in the hospital, but then on the way home he started yelling about McDonald's. It was only 10:15 AM. I didn't pay much attention. Normally when C is crabby, I just respond with extra happiness. When I said, no, we are not going to stop there, he responded with "YES! _ I _ WANNNNNNTTTTT TOOOOOOOOOOO!" So I just said " Oh, I am so glad you understand that we are going to have lunch at home, it is going to be great." He rolled his eyes and went back to singing along with the radio. I find this tactic avoids a lot of back and forth.

So, then we are home & I make us lunch, put his favorite radio station on, and we make a plan for the day. The day involves two repair men coming, cleaning the kitchen, going to the ball field, and school. So I clean, C plays. The he asks if I will play Life, which I do and the repair men come. (there is more to that story too) After the repair men have left I tell C that it is time for school. And I tell you it was a battle. He just decided that he wasn't going to do the work and that was that. Far from taking his hand in mine to complete the writing, I simply told him that if he didn't write his name he would not get a green light for the day in school. (that is our reward system) He wouldn't. Okay fine, we move on. The next task is to make Y's on a line. He refused. Not only did he refuse, he stuck his tongue out, made faces, yelled, and .... well you get the idea. I think I may just be trying to justify my actions here, because seriously I was really mad. I didn't yell. I told C that if he needed to stop this behavior because it was disrespectful. He let me know that he didn't care. So I gave him a choice, complete school or get sent to your room for the day. And now he is in his room. And I feel a little guilty, but darn it, I am standing my ground. And after dinner we will be doing school, not fun stuff like we normally do.

In other news, repairmen came today. One was suppose to fix my dishwasher - as usual, he cannot and will return with a new part next week. Anyway, half way through his task he gets up and says - I'll be back, then calls a person on his cell and walks out of the house. He drives away. About 30 minutes go by, and I decide I am going to let the dog out of the laundry room - I mean who knows how long this guy will be. Well about five minutes go by and I hear a crunching noise. Come to find out, it was this headlamp thing that guy must of left in the kitchen. I scold the dog and go into the kitchen to inspect all the damage. And you know, I was actually a little peeved at the repair man. He left all of his personal stuff all over the floor. A bag, watch, beeper looking thing, tools, not to mention dishwasher parts. Originally I thought the dog got the lamp off the counter - but no, it was all there smelling like old smoke. Gross. So then I realize the dog actually ripped the back side of the light where this padding is that would rest against your forehead. It was wet and sticky, so I grab a paper towel and try to dry it. Then I hear my front door opening. It is the repair man, he didn't even knock! So the dog charges him, I throw his lamp thing on the counter and get the dog. I go into the kitchen to tell the guy about the lamp, and he starts complaining about the work, the light he can't find (Hello! Look Up!) and my dog. So I just hand him his light and walk out. Screw him, I won't buy him a new one. Sorry I made you do your job and that you are so rude that you find it hard to knock. My bad, asshole.

Monday, March 23, 2009

So Not Funny & Then A Little Funny

So, Friday after my commissary trip ...

I put away all the cold stuff, then got a phone call. While on the phone with L I wrote on my blog, and started to clean the kitchen. Then unexpectedly Joe came home early. He just said, "we'll talk later" and headed up stairs. I knew something was wrong. The man carries a cloud with him when he is either in a bad mood or not feeling well. I swear, I could be in the farthest room from the door and I can tell something is up just from the way he walks in the house. The problem with my sixth sense is I can't tell if he is sick, upset, annoyed, or just plain in a bad mood.

Anyway - Friday he was sick. In fact, we ended up calling the paramedics to take him to the hospital. His arm and part of his face were numb, he was violently throwing up, had a raging headache, and had labored breathing. We spent the night at the ER. Some ding-a-ling nurse told him he just had a headache and should have drank water and taken a Tylenol. We pretty much wanted to give him a swift kick to the shins. In the end after loads of testing including a Spinal Tap to rule out a bleeding in the brain, the doc guessed that it might be a severe form of Migraine and put in a consult to a neurologist. Joe is fine, he had lots and lots of different meds at the hospital because nothing was working - and then was having some trippy thoughts and feeling for awhile, but by Sunday he was up and running.

As always I seem to have embarrassing moments in everyday. Friday was no different. Once I spoke with Joe and convinced him that we needed to call the paramedics I ran down stairs to grab a phone. I called our on-base emergency number and reported teh issue when it was done I pressed end button and the phone rang. It was my friend A who immediately starts telling me about a show, Jesus Christ Super Star that we both wanted to go to on Sunday. I let her go on and on, and then say, "uhhh, actually we have kind of an emergency-emergency over here, can I drop Cooper off over there?" She then says yes without hesitation and instead of hanging up I proceed to tell her to make an executive decision about the how. God knows why I felt the need to have a conversation! Okay, so then I hang up the phone and run upstairs to get Joe.

He starts telling me he needs a shirt, and socks. I respond by opening his dresser drawers and just throwing stuff at him. Not mean or anything, just tossing it his way. At this point I can hear the ambulance and become my mother in split second of flashing strobe.... I look at the floor and realize there is laundry there. So I gather it up and run downstairs. I coax the pup into the laundry room out of the way and then ... Here is the Mother part ... throw in a load of whites.

Next C says "Mom we called 911 and they are here, it works, it really works!" He then goes outside and flags them down, and holds the door open. I add fabric softener. Joe sits in a chair and becomes a little disorientated. I then check to see if there is anything in the dryer.

Then the phone rings, A calls and says she is coming over to get C. Then finally I get back to reality and start doing useful things -like giving the EMT's the right info for Joe and moving my unpacked dry groceries out of the way. Oh Lord, thank God A called back, or I might have started dusting, ironing, painting, or some other inane unimportant thing.

BTW Jesus Christ Super Star was wonderful last night. The singing was amazing and the story just perfect for the Lenten season.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Kind of Funny

I am a total math geek, however I cannot count. Today, C and I ventured over to the commissary. Which has been doing much better since my ranting letters about poor service, well, not that they read them - but still they have been better. The store was crowded, but I was able to buy what I went in for. Also they had Cheerios, Cookie Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Fruit Cheerios on sale for .99 ¢ which was great and some other great sales. Also I had like 22 bucks in coupons. Anyway one of my coupons was for gum, by one get one free. So I pick out four packs. Then after the clerk has rang through half my crap she points to the gum and starts up a dialog, her words are in red.

"So, you ain't use-in two doe-z?"


"Da gum, you ain't uses two tix?" She then hands me two out of four coupons

"Oh, no, I want to use all four coupons, thanks." I then hand them back

"Da gum, you can't use all these." She then hands me two coupons back again.

"Why not?" I then look at the coupons and start to hand them back.

"It's two fer un." She then gives me a look as if to say - you dumb ass.

"Oh oops, sorry I will get the extra packs of the rack, thanks."

On my defense, at least I speak in complete sentences and do not use Ebonics as a GS job standard. But as you all know making fun of others is just a defense mechanism, really I was the dumb ass in this scene. LOL.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Not Funny

You know, I am in a really crappy mood. So much so that I would like to unplug the phone: to keep all the perky people from calling, send the boys out: No, I don't want to go to the circus, it smells: and take a nice hot long bubble bath in a clean bathroom.

All three of which are impossible. One, the phone could be unplugged, but perky people leave messages, I have to go to the circus with the boys and our friends - I got out of Disney on Ice last month, and third, my husband uses my bathroom - so it is never as clean as I want.

Also, I have been in constant contact with my IVF nurse, who seems to keep changing game plans on me. My husband has announced that he needs to be in Denver in two weeks (which I new about) but then after that needs to go to San Diego for a week - so not pleased with that because it happens at the same time IVF does - it is just four days before - sooooo what if they change things again - I will be alone.

Then I get this Washington DC tax bill for 250.00 from my old work! It is for them, but my name is on it because when I worked there I was the only office person with DC residence. Now, I could just mail it over to the boss and tell her to fix it; but she won't. It will sit in processing for a week to a week and a half before it gets looked at. Then it will get sent to the accountant's office. Then it may or may not be touched for two weeks before it is shoved under the bosses door. Then when she rolls in around 11:00 she will step on it, then throw it in either her black tray with her daily catalogs or her accordion file which she will never touch. Either way the bill will be late, and my name will be attached. I have to make contact. I am sick over it.

Next I had kids today. Now mind you I have kids every Thursday, and some days are great. Today should have been fine. The baby slept (Yipppeeee) but A and C were not sharing, crying, throwing fits, and tattling, plus an array of other annoying kid behaviors. I need a break - a quiet break.

I seriously could keep bitching up a storm. OHHHH and one more thing: surprise, surprise we didn't get into any DC schools that have passing marks again this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Darn lotto system for school seats is crazy. However we did get wait listed this year - so you never know. NO, really YOU NEVER KNOW. I want to move and I want to move now. I am seriously having thoughts of moving home for the school year next year. This isn't fair, and I don't know what else I can do to make it any better. NEVER MOVE TO DC _ EVER!

Really I could keep going -but I am just pissing myself off even more. Now I must go, because I have baby pee on me from 12:45 and dog blood on me since 9:00 when the dog lost a tooth at the playground this morning. Not my day.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It's a Battle

This morning C got out his pop out tent. [ side note: this tent is a big red oval looking thing that we got a yard sale for 2.00 years ago, and it is a favorite toy; we even take it camping with us in the summer] So he is in his tent in the living room and he announces he is going to have a battle. He begins hollering and making popping noises and his tent starts to bounce up and down. Then he falls out of it and says "Mom, I'm shot. Get a medic." The ends of my mouth began to curl into a grin and C says "Mom, it is no time to laugh, call a medic, call 911, get me a nurse!" Next he pops back into his tent while moaning and grunting and says "make her a hot one!"

HE IS 5! I am not positive where this fascination with HOT girls is coming from. I am pretty sure he just thinks it is funny because he sees it on TV, and I am pretty sure I shouldn't think it is funny, but man do I. I started laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Then just to prove that he really is five and not sixteen C calls out "wait, can the dog me my nurse?" So I sent the dog in the tent. The two have been there for over an hour while I showered, made my bed, and got dressed.

LOL - nothing like a dog to lick your wounds in battle.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

It's not you, it's my house!

I feel so out of touch lately. While on VK/ Medical Assistance (ha ha) I actively stayed away from F/B and all my blogging habits. When I came back it seems I have been really busy and just can't seem to get twenty minutes to update all my online commitments. I have started three different posts and not finished them. Don't worry you are not missing anything - I mostly complain about C being sick and it being my in-laws fault and then there is more intentional bitching about life in general. Anyway ....

Today I got dressed in front of the dryer. A continued habit of mine. While sliding on my jeans, that are now a little loose (yeah me), straight from the comforting warmth of the "more dry" cycle I felt this hot, I mean really hot, like freaking burning coals hot spot on my stomach. Ahh yes, I now have a bulls eye looking burn mark on just below my belly button thanks to the button on my jeans being on fire after coming out of the dryer. I never cease to amaze myself.

Also, in the embarrassing segments of my day - yesterday's segment anyway, a friend knocked on the door. Normally I open the door wide and welcome her in. Yesterday however while opening the door I noticed a bra, two pairs of panties - one hot pink the other purple - and pair of C's boxers in the front hall. Mind you C doesn't always get right in there - thus I wash his clothes separately - way way way separately. And since I was in the middle of opening the door when I saw this mess I couldn't shut it and then go move the clothes the dog dragged out of the hampers - so I just sort of stood between the door and my friend. She sort of started to step in and then asked "do you have an egg?" Oh thank the LORD - I DIDN'T!!!!! Could you imagine if I did, I would have had to let her in, and as nonchalantly as possible kick my neon panties and C's crap stained ones as far away as I could; as only a mother could. Needless to say we cleaned the house and I did all the laundry yesterday.

Monday, March 9, 2009

It's That Time Again

Every year I do all my annoying appointments right before my B-day. Dentist, Gyn, and the Investment Banker are all set. Granted the Gyn will most likely tell me a random culture has expired and I will have to go back again. That is just the way the seem to be.

So, here I am spread to the nines when the doc all bubbly and cute announces, "Oopsie, forgot to do your breast exam." And she leaves me in the 'position' to complete the OOpsie, which TMI - tickled??? That never happened before. I was really laughing and not because I was embarrassed, It friggin tickled. Then bubbly doc says, "well those are weird" and then didn't elaborate. So I say "what are weird?" Bubbly doc that laughs and says "Oh nothing, lets do the pelvic next." ... Strangest appointment ever...

The banker issue was a non-issue this year. My 401K lost 9,000. Which leaves me with only 1,000 left. I am taking the cash rolled over into an IRA, but only because I have no choice. I mean I could take 700.00 of the 1000.00 and call it all quits, but then I am actually paying taxes of 30% which is just more loss. Mom said it best when she said "Well, it is 1,000 bucks you will never have to save again if you roll it over." And there you have actual lucid, valid, and intelligent advice from my mother - that I am actually taking.

Next is the Dentist. I am late this year, not going until the end of the month. They just couldn't fit me in. Which is a bummer - I actually like going on my B-day - then my teeth are extra shiny in pics - oh well such is life.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Great News!

Not that I have a million followers, or that even one of my followers would be reading every word, but still I feel the need to live vicariously through others, and report it to what few faithful readers I do have.

So, a little while ago I mentioned that our friends were going through IVF at the same time we were. Well, apparently they had a positive result. So for the first time ever, and I do mean ever, in my married life, I am really truly excited for someone else being pregnant. Now normally, I love hearing news of a new baby on the way from my friends, but somewhere in the initial "we are pregnant" speech, as I am preaching my excitement, which is genuine, I feel a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Although I am always happy for the families, I start to feel sad that it isn't us. But this time, not so much.

I just really happy for them. Maybe I am just getting older and wiser, or maybe I just feel like our turn is around the corner, I don't know. Either way it is great news for them and for me.

In other news, I am back from Massachusetts. Mom is doing just fine and was really happy C and I came up. We stayed really close to home to help her out but we did sneak away to see my cousin E play soccer. It was awesome. Also, as always we had Sunday Dinner at Mom's. Only 12 of us this time around, but still fun. Just sitting around talking about nothing and everything while we eat some great home cooking. It was nice. I wish Joe's family would get together for no reason sometimes - might be nice to see how the other side of the family lives. (more on that subject later - I've got lots to bitch about there)

TTFN - JJ (as my sister calls me)