Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Baby Factory ... Take Two

The highs and lows of working at a fertility clinic continue. Today two couples "graduated." Two OB ultrasounds in a row with positive results. Although continuously struggling with jealousy I truly am so happy for these couples. But then there is what we call a "bad OB." Normally the nurses or the doctors escort these patients through the back door so they do not have to be cheerfully greeted by us up front while we ask for their co-pays and offer to make additional appointments. But then there are some that make their way up to the front desk. It is so heart breaking to see myself in these patients eyes. And I swear it is me, there on the other side of the counter, trying not to cry too hard, trying to function but really just completely ready to crawl into a dark hole. I just want to give them a big hug and tell them everything is going to be okay. Even though those words offered me no solace when I was in their shoes, I just want them to know I was there too and I know it sucks, and I am so sorry they have to endure this crap, and I know it isn't fair. 

This job is hard. I am not sure I can sugar coat things too much there. I've been going strong for about six weeks and still do not think I could function through 8 hours alone. I just never know how the day is going to go, it ranges from everything in between hormonal bitches that assume they own me because they are paying the clinic fees with their hopeful first-born's college fund and the actual sweet as pie sweethearts that probably fart rainbows and butterflies that you cannot help but love to piece the second they walk through the door. It is hard to balance what I hold onto and what I brain dump at the end of the day. It is also way harder than I though it was going to be to brain dump the unwanted memories. 

It is also hard to brain dump the happenings of the employees. BFGG coughed on me today. She also spewed more chips into my general direction, although this time they landed on the counter not my shirt. Thirdly during lunch she not once took a breath in or out of her nose, complete mouth breather... icky! Carmen is good - she is growing on me. The judge is back from VK, thank God, I really do work best with the old ladies - must have been one in a former life :P). The doctors are ok, I am still not in love with either one of them and it is obvious the feeling is mutual. All in all, I would say I'd rate the job a 6. Considering my up bringing and the Constantine family motto of "It's work, it's suppose to suck," a 6 is a pretty high rating. Hopefully I will start to feel a little more comfortable there soon.

Friday, February 17, 2012

IVF ... ??? Again...???

I just signed up for better health insurance through work. IVF is COVERED! Seriously - I'd only have to come up with a few thousand dollars to cover a yearly deductible. Makes the wheels turn my friends. I am a little freaked out, but in a good way. S is all for it ...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Please Enlighten Me


Seriously, I have plenty of friends and family that struggle with the real thing and this is in no way about that.

But obviously, I am either Bipolar or Manic or just clinically nuts. 

Today was a good day at work. Herb is on VK, out of the country, Doctor 2 basically left me alone and BFGG was actaully nice to me. Crabby nurse was still crabby but I am learning that everyone else thinks so too and they all just ignore her :P) At lunch I got to talk with one of my besties and took an awesome walk in the sunshine. By 4:00 I was on the freeway with my sun roof open & thanking God that my day was so pleasant. And then by 4:45 I was almost in tears over an email from C's teacher.

Apparently he kicked a girl between the legs after she threatened to do the same to him. Unreal. I had to rewrite my response to his teacher three times to keep myself from using phrases like; "Good God this never ends" & "You've got to be kidding me?!" After talking with C at length I was still at a loss and told his teacher so - I have no idea how to handle this. Every single day there is an issue. Sometimes small and sometimes really large, but always there is something. 

Each day he gets a report saying how his day was behavior wise, it is all part of his IEP. But even though there are good things on the report there is always something negative too. Today's playground incident didn't even make it to the report because the teacher didn't know about in time. Today's report said, he went to the water fountain too much and talked back to the teacher. Great. He cannot be in trouble every day, he just can't. And I am not such a horrible uncaring parent that I let it all go with zero discipline and accountability.

My head hurts. Moreover, honestly this time I think I am going to let this one go with zero discipline and minimal accountability. He was antagonized into the kicking and his teacher foretold the entire ordeal, telling C and another boy before recess that maybe they "shouldn't play with her because you always get into trouble when you do." For crying out loud is it to much to ask that a teacher or aid or volunteer watch these kids on the playground? This wasn't a 'fast' thing - this happened over the entire course of the outdoor break. 

On top of everything else, his homework is half done because he had scouts tonight and he has to go to daycare early tomorrow because S is out of town. So unless he stays up late or gets up before 5:30 that work just isn't getting done. Another great note from his teacher is sure to come. 

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Sunday, Sunday

C has pneumonia. All week I've been sending him to school only to learn the poor kid really is sick and it isn't "just a cough."  The good news; our clinic was open yesterday and fit him in with in hours of me calling & they gave him an antibiotic that is already working! Thank goodness. 

So today we are having a stay at home day due to the sickness. But it has turned out to be somewhat busy for me. Somehow I managed to get the grocery shopping done before 9:00 this morning, the house cleaned before 11:00, lunch made, served and cleaned up before 12:00, ran out to return an item, spend a gift card, and fill my gas tank all before 2:00, then watch two episodes of Vampire Diaries while ironing clothes and folding clean laundry. Somewhere in there I was actaully able to talk to my sister for an hour - which is always nice, rather enjoyable, and always a good laugh.

Life is generally good. The bills are paid ... paid AHEAD! Thank you!!!! The abode is sparkly. Valentine's Day has been celebrated - so fun! (S is TDY this coming week, so on Saturday we exchanged cards and went out to eat ... in between going to the doctors and getting the dog groomed - LOL, priorities don't ya know.)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Yada, Yada, Yada

Oye ve. Went to the doctors today, my hip has been bothering me. Anyway, no running for at least three weeks. I am so bummed out over it. I love running and have really been on the band wagon lately, running in the mornings and sometimes in the evening with C. But alas, I am back to walking on flat ground after injuring my hip flexor and possibly wearing out the cartilage in that joint. The PA said to rest it for three weeks and return. If it is better than great, if not they'll send me for a CT or and MRI depending on what is going on. Well, thank goodness for great medical care!

In other news - work is way better the past few days, although BFGG was eating Doritos yesterday and talking to me and when we walked away I noticed Dorito flecks on my shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so grossed out. She makes my skin crawl. Plus she's a little mean and sarcastic. Me no like.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Check, Check, & Check Mate

Taxes = Done. Get this, out of all the darn medical expenses last year, and there were a lot of them. We still didn't qualify for more that the standard deduction. We had over 10K in doctor receipts and still - bupkis. Oh well, at least we get a refund. That should help the countdowns pretty well. 

Super Bowl party = done, even the clean up. Even though our home team lost we still had a fun time. S invited three sets of neighbors over and a former coworker of his. Surprisingly everyone made it. We all had a great time visiting, watching the game & commercials, and watching the kids play. I can't wait for the next block party!

Work = sucky today. It is bound to happen once in a while but man was today bad. I bet I took 75 phone calls today plus regular scheduling, a doctor meeting, new patient registrations, and whole slew of other tasks I am sure I did a less than stellar job on. One patient actaully screamed at me and told me that I had no compassion, wasn't on her side, didn't care, was "stone walling" her, and making her feel like she wasn't important. I did no such things, I was kind, understanding, and tried so hard to help her. In the end I took my Diet Coke and went into the bathroom where I proceeded to bawl just long enough so all my eye liner would run down the center of my cheeks. All this because the doctor had no open appointments - even though I offered to confer with the doctor to see what our options were - and to call her back, nothing seemed to appease here. I can take the yelling and the frustration, but I cannot take when people accuse me of being mean and unkind. I did everything I was suppose to and still the person felt it was necessary to inflict emotional damage. I just don't get it.

Friday, February 3, 2012


Wow, what a week.

To be FB redundant:
Quote of the Day. "Mrs Wagner, your repair bill in on us; next time feel free to overlook the carfax."
My A/C doesn't work in the new car. (Thank goodness we had a hot day otherwise I wouldn't have noticed until late spring and then that might have been too late to do anything about it) So, I dropped the car off and this morning I get all call stating that the repair is $1400 because there is a broken air compressor. My warranty - which I negotiated doesn't cover this because it isn't power train. I ask you my friends, is anything covered under power train? But to be nice they say they can get the cost down to $600. I agreed, that is better than the original quote but... and a light bulb actaully appeared over my head in mid-air, "Wait a sec, this problem was noted on the carfax report before I bought the car - so I assumed it was fixed." The man was speechless and although expertly nice gave me a song and dance about me having to talk to the manager and my sales rep. I of course agreed and was just as nice as pie back. An hour later I got the call with the above quote left on my voice mail. I of course cheered, but also saved the message. It is quite funny.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


Man I slept great great last! I woke up chipper and ready to go. Which is great because yesterday at this time I was still trying to keep both eyes to stay open :P) So, up and At'em. Then I realized I don't have to be at work until 7:00,  but I already had my running sneakers on. Oh well, always nice to have a little time to relax in the morning anyway. I only ran a mile, my hip flexor is killing me, I am going to try to stretch it out more before I hit the treadmill tomorrow and even before I head to bed tonight.

In the mean time I downloaded some songs that I've been meaning to put on my MP3 player for a while now. Lately I am obsessed with TobyMac. I've even got C turning up the radio when "City on our Knees" comes on. My favorite is an older acoustic version our radio station has been playing a lot called "Made to Love". Lately I've been so sick of the regular pop stations. The swears & sex references in the music are so gross, it is embarrassing. I am no prude, but man, how many times do I need to explain to our son that just because they say it on the radio doesn't me we can talk about it or use those types of words. I've finally had enough and have just stopped putting them on in my car. Family friendly radio only. Our compromise is my MP3 player, I have only clean versions of all songs on there - that seems to satisfy C. 

Alright - enough hanging out, now I really do have to get ready for work. I am hopeful it goes well. I have asked to train at yet another satellite site in order to gain some perspective and learn the little details. I even set up training for Carmen and I next week when we have someone from corporate coming to our office to give instructions on scanning. I am all in folks, all in.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Sort of Awesome ... When You Think of It

So, yesterday kinda blew at work. My co-worker made a mistake on the cash that was accepted the day before and it all sort of hit the fan. Her paper work was really messy, so in an attempt to clean it up and help find the missing funds, I redid portions of it. In the end we couldn't find the mistake and the days tab was five dollars short. Totally a mistake... it happens. So after we crunched and crunched and the numbers still didn't make sense Carmen called the big boss up at the main hospital. Time to fess up. Well over the phone everything was okay, it was a problem but one that can be fixed. But once the 'messy' paper work got to where it was going and was audited, well then it wasn't such a small problem. Needless to say Carmen and I both went home yesterday a little frazzled. I was particularly upset because I wondered if I was getting thrown under the proverbial bus when I really had nothing to do with this money. In fact, I actaully fixed some of the paperwork, but since neither of new the 'proper' way to do it there were so missing parts. 

Last night, I fell into bed exhausted. My only prayer "please help me see the best qualities in Carmen tomorrow." 

This morning sort of started out rough. I could not get moving and I just wanted to curl up with a book and shut out the real world. But alas, 5:40 came and it was time to leave for work. Once I got to work and things got moving it seemed that the "boss's" were pinging about this or that - but there was so much work to do that it didn't seem to high on the priority list. Then it hit me. Carmen and I were working together. Not at opposite ends of the desk trying not to do more work than the other person, but together. When I had a patient trying to drop of a cup of sperm when he should have been rubbing one out at his reserved room in another office Carmen stepped right in. She called several offices to find out which one could take his "specimen" and got him to agree to drive it there with relatively no upsets. She was smooth and professional. (Our office only takes the "goods" on M, T, & F - just so you know.)

Later on in the day she helped me coordinate an appointment, offered to make a difficult phone call for me (I declined, but so appreciated it), and when I accidentally threw paperwork away in the secured shred box, she helped me find the keys. 

Life is good my friends. Sometimes you just need to know what to pray for.