Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Please Enlighten Me

**Disclaimer** 

Seriously, I have plenty of friends and family that struggle with the real thing and this is in no way about that.

But obviously, I am either Bipolar or Manic or just clinically nuts. 

Today was a good day at work. Herb is on VK, out of the country, Doctor 2 basically left me alone and BFGG was actaully nice to me. Crabby nurse was still crabby but I am learning that everyone else thinks so too and they all just ignore her :P) At lunch I got to talk with one of my besties and took an awesome walk in the sunshine. By 4:00 I was on the freeway with my sun roof open & thanking God that my day was so pleasant. And then by 4:45 I was almost in tears over an email from C's teacher.

Apparently he kicked a girl between the legs after she threatened to do the same to him. Unreal. I had to rewrite my response to his teacher three times to keep myself from using phrases like; "Good God this never ends" & "You've got to be kidding me?!" After talking with C at length I was still at a loss and told his teacher so - I have no idea how to handle this. Every single day there is an issue. Sometimes small and sometimes really large, but always there is something. 

Each day he gets a report saying how his day was behavior wise, it is all part of his IEP. But even though there are good things on the report there is always something negative too. Today's playground incident didn't even make it to the report because the teacher didn't know about in time. Today's report said, he went to the water fountain too much and talked back to the teacher. Great. He cannot be in trouble every day, he just can't. And I am not such a horrible uncaring parent that I let it all go with zero discipline and accountability.

My head hurts. Moreover, honestly this time I think I am going to let this one go with zero discipline and minimal accountability. He was antagonized into the kicking and his teacher foretold the entire ordeal, telling C and another boy before recess that maybe they "shouldn't play with her because you always get into trouble when you do." For crying out loud is it to much to ask that a teacher or aid or volunteer watch these kids on the playground? This wasn't a 'fast' thing - this happened over the entire course of the outdoor break. 

On top of everything else, his homework is half done because he had scouts tonight and he has to go to daycare early tomorrow because S is out of town. So unless he stays up late or gets up before 5:30 that work just isn't getting done. Another great note from his teacher is sure to come. 

2 comments:

Becca B said...

((hug)) I feel your pain. Do they have a plan in place where they reward good behavior instead of just reporting bad. I have had some good success with D and a plan called "Behavior Bucks". It takes a lot of planning out right and saving toward a goal, but takes some focus of the negative. (I can email it to you) There is alot of truth in the self fulling prophesy theory. The teacher could have planted the seed with her comment, and always reporting bad behavior can work opposite of what you want. You are def not uncaring, it takes a tool on you. D was just officially diagnosed Autistic Spectrum and he just can not make those social connections on his own. Its a struggle.

Don't sweat the homework. No matter what the teacher says. Sometimes the struggle to get it done is not worth it. It's second grade....

You always lift me up.... would love to do the same for you ((hug))

Chickenpig said...

My son also gets rewards for good behavior. BUT he gets a check just for getting annoyed for having to move from one activity to another. (for example). For crying out loud, he's six! As long as he does the activity, does it really matter if he pouts about it or rolls his eyes? Having a para professional with him at all times is sometimes not helpful, because his behavior is actually really good...if you don't count every time he voices displeasure at something or whatever. I'm sure if all the 6 year olds had an IEP they would be getting the same treatment. And he only has an IEP to begin with because he ran into the building last year because it was so cold and he didn't want to be outside.