Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Vacation Week

It is Vk week for C. Today is Wednesday and I am all ready out of play ideas. What is a mom to do?

Yesterday we went to the movies, we saw Alvin and The Chipmunks. As far as kid movies go - that one was perfection - sort of funny, lots of music, and a simple plot that even a six year old could follow. The best parts of the movie were one line jokes - after each one I could hear about twenty kids in the theater repeat it - it was so cute. I was really impressed with the crowd, a movie packed with mom's and dad's and vacationing kids and not one whinny, crying, screaming, or even talking to loud child. Might I say - it was all actaully enjoyable, so much so that I wish there was another movie C wanted to see.

In the afternoon we played Lego's together and did a lot of school work type stuff. Because of the snow days the teacher didn't send home any homework type projects and I don't want C to loose his momentum. He was just starting to make bigger strides. So, we worked on phonics and a few math workbook pages. I was surprised that he added twenty math problems on his own. In the past he would have only done one or two and then just waited for someone to help him. I'll have to pick out some more stuff for us to do tomorrow afternoon. I was also thinking we should do something fun but am undecided after a few events yesterday. What to do, What to do?

I have a coupon for Chuck-E-Cheese. It is the same one I get every month, 100 tokens for 15.00. Each game is one token, so the deal is great. We can go in there for two hours and C will come out with tons of tickets and small prizes - he loves it. However, I am not sure I want to go just yet. I am thinking I might tell him we can go tomorrow if he is good. I don't like dangling a bribe in front of him, but I am sort of at a parenting cross road over behavior this week.

The Dilemma:

My son has been angry lately. He is fine and happy when he is doing his own thing, running around the house playing war or making a mess with Moon Sand. He is perfectly happy playing a video game or watching iCarly. He is even happy to be in his room and play with stuffed animals. But the second I ask him to go out of the house or play a game or get dressed he starts with the annoyed sigh and then begins slamming things down instead of laying them down. C will just get so mad and it really is a struggle to keep patient and kind. For the first time EVER yesterday I sort of yelled and called him a name. I am not a screamer and certainly never have I called him a name.

Yesterday I didn't tell C I was going to take him to the movies, I wanted to surprise him. The movie started at 10:15, so around 9:30 I asked him to get dressed. He fussed a little so I told him he could play for ten more minutes. After that I followed him upstairs and helped him pick out clothes. He was acting so rude and angry, slamming down his toys, grunting with exaggerated sighs and just plain grumpiness. I asked him to turn around so I could help him with his shirt and he ignored me, so I asked again and this time when he slammed the drawer of his nightstand I just lots my composure. "Darn YOU! All I want to do is surprise you by taking you to the movies and you are just acting like a turd!, Get your self dressed and DO NOT come out until you are all the way dressed!" Then I left his room and went to mine. It took all my energy and might not to slam the doors.

When I was in my room I could hear him crying. I felt horrible but stuck to my guns and about ten minutes later he came to me all dressed and with a big apology. We talked about it, but I didn't feel confident that he understood the consequences of his behavior. He knew it made me upset, but he didn't grasp the idea of being respectful, and he completely ignored the explanation of Jesus teaching us differently. In the end I explained that we had to return his sneakers (his feet got bigger between Black Friday and Christmas day) and we had to go to the post office.

We got in the car and C says "Mom, can I ask you a question about a bad word?" and I reply "Go for it." And he says "What is a turd, and is it a bad word?" I said it isn't a bad word but we shouldn't say it and I am sorry. I didn't tell him what it meant. After we exchanged the shoes we went to the movies to the later show. C was very nice while we were there. When we drove up he said thank you and apologized for being angry earlier. He then said "Mom, you don't have to buy popcorn, I will just have the stuff you sneaked in in your pocket book" Of course he said this as we were buying tickets. LOL

In the end the day turned out good but I do not want to get in a cycle of bad behavior and rewards. It is a funny place to be and I am not exactly sure what to do. Stepping back and taking a look from the outside - C just seems spoiled. I'll have to work on that.

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