Best Quotes

I am reading a book called I Like Everybody (and other atrocious lies) by Laurie Notaro it is an autobiography - which is funny because I didn't know that until just now when I looked at the cover to get the authors name. Anyway here are the best quotes from this recommended funny read:

• "..I plopped my Pull My Finger Fred Doll, my cow that pooped brown jelly beans, and my giant roll of butt floss on my desk..." Honestly the context doesn't even matter. I was rolling.
• "Elevator People!"
• "Canadians are specially bred to be overtly nice... and sometimes they seem mildly retarded" 
• "I blew a mammoth orb out of my nose ... A bubble, a big, nasty bubble, nearly the size of Christina Ricci's head came right out of my face."
• "It was nothing short of a miracle that I did not suddenly lay a big brown egg in my pantalones..."
• "Cancer of the upper asshole"
• "Who would steal a cabana? Picnic Pirates?"

I began reading this book yesterday afternoon while C was in an extra curricular activity. (Parents usually just hang out in the halls of the community center while the classes are in session) I laughed so hard at one point that I snorted. And get this, I am only on page 26. 

On Monday I finished a book by Ali Vincent, she was the season 4 winner of the Biggest Looser (of which I am obsessed) and her book Believe it, Be it was a nice little cheerleader style read. Maybe 150 pages of her experience on the show and how her life changed after.  The rest was filled with lots of pictures and some tips along the way. Nothing I'd read again but cheerful - so it makes my "I read that" list. 

Last week S, C and I went to a book store's going out of business sale and really got some deals. On the first day C and I got about a dozen books for $4.00 but that was because we had old gift cards to use up. A few days later we all went back and the prices had dropped to 80%-90% off. This time we got about 30 books for $30.00. So we have a new library wing here at the house.