Today has proven to be quite productive and somewhat annoying. Let's just start out with the disclaimer, I love my husband. He is kind, loving, supporting, generous, and so on and so on. All that being said, he is really on my nerves. Why on earth does everything have to be over analyzed and beat to a pulp? It is just life people, just life. There are times when I just do not understand the compulsion to understand every detail in every corner of every minute detail that pertains to you!
Recently S put in for a job in England. He heard back today that they did not choose him. I am so relieved. Really, if he'd gotten it I would have been excited, but on the other hand I feel like I am just starting to gain momentum here and the selfish part of me is glad we are not headed across the pond. But I digress, he calls to tell me this information and he is a little bummed out, understandably, but he just keeps harping on the "why". Really? It was on the equal list, and Air Force wide job opening list. That means every one else who fit the requirements was up for the job too. Someone else probably had a year on him and hadn't ever been overseas. It isn't like it is rocket science to draw that conclusion. But NOOOO, he wants to call over to the job site and ask why he wasn't chosen, email them to let him know if there are anymore openings, see what he can change so he can get picked for these assignments, and as previously pointed out beat the damn thing into the ground. I would so mark this in the "Oh Well" category of life. I just don't get it.
Deep breath, Diet Coke.
Meanwhile I have been on the phone all morning trying to procure daycare for C when I go back to work. I got the call yesterday with the official offer and benefit information. I start in the next two weeks. I was so excited and still am, but finding care is turning out to be rough. Plus I get the impression that my husband doesn't really want to help. That sucks. Before I even applied for the job I talked to him about the hours and asked if he could work with that. He says yes, but then doesn't really seem like he means it. Yesterday as we were discussing the after school care I offered up a scenario and he agreed that it was worth a try, but then totally went back on saying yes after explaining that he misunderstood. Okay... But then still he had no real ideas himself that involved him helping. And he said like three times "Well I still need to go to the gym". Yeah - I get it, your important too! I offered probably seven or eight different ideas and he just kept saying things like "we'll see" and "I need to go the gym". Really?? How about I am going back to work and you need to just step up and move your schedule around a little bit, go into work later, go to the gym during work hours at the end of the day (that is totally allowed in the USAF) and we will just eat dinner a little later and cut back on a few TV programs to make time for other stuff. I am not asking the world. I am asking that he go to work for 8:00 and leaves at 4:30, goes to the gym and leaves around 5:30 or 6:00. And BTW just to let you know, it was never mention that I would get to go to the gym or have any time to workout what so ever it was all about him. But you know, "we'll see". Right, come by our neighborhood around 4:30 in the fucking morning, you'll see me walking the dog, that will just have to do.
Here I am trying to fit it all together and he is so selfishly acting like the world revolves around him. I swear there is no consideration for the things that I put high on the priority list. For crying out loud, he'll spend half the day whining about not getting an assignment he wanted and over analyzing every detail about it but won't take ten minutes to look up possible day cares or ask around at work if anyone else has a provider they like. And just to be clear - I am really mad at him. He promised me if I went back to work this time would be different. He promised. So far - we're right on the same track. I become responsible for everything and he becomes responsible only for the bare minimum.
I'll be cleaning and making more phone calls if you need me. I have already managed to get a ton of laundry done amongst the daily things. But man it feels good to let all this out. I really do love my husband. I just wish that today he'd left work at work. Well better get back on the horn. Apparently there is some martial arts place that offers busing from school in the afternoon for kids at C's school. We'll just see how expensive that one is, although at this point know one else has an opening anyway.