I am tired. Really tired. Also, I am kind of annoyed at all the holiday cheer at the moment. I am only on 10 milligrams of stinking Provera, which is just a simple female hormone to induce a period, and I am already stressed to the max. I can't even remember to take it at the same time every day, how am I ever going to handle all the IVF drugs? Do you know that the nurses actaully told me to bring a large shopping bag or three grocery bags to my appointment in order to take all the meds and needles home?
Also, I spoke with L yesterday. It is so hard not to tell some people. I tried to hint at the ordeal, but at the same time remained vague and distant. She stated that it "really is okay if you guys just have one." Which you would think is supportive, but really it is salt on an open wound. One! Just ONE! NO!!!!! Go forth and multiply, for crying out loud it is in the bible. But really, just one. Anything with just in front of it, always needs some sort of justification later in life, anything with the word just in front of it, sounds like an issue, or better yet adds an attitude of selfishness to it. Sure, anyone can prove me wrong here, but moreover I am a wreck. I am emotional, tired, and really scared. Isn't there anyone else in this boat? Seems like we're it. Adoption first, IVF second, it just isn't the pecking order.
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