Today and OB ultrasound tech found two sets of identical twin with heart beats in the same patient! Quads. Only two embryos transferred! Everyone was talking about it. The miracle, the unbelievable miracle. And then there was the "reduction" talk. Oh My God, I almost started to go into a full blow panic attack mode complete with dry heaves, ugly crying, and fits of rocking back and forth while trying not to inhale my own copious amounts of snot. I still might, but I just keep reminding myself that this isn't me, this isn't my miracle. ***Side note, I am the only one using the term miracle, most are calling it a coincidence, what a crappy word for a MIRACLE ***
So here is the break down: A patient and her husband check out and we were wondering why they were smiling yet didn't need a second OB ultrasound. (that is the norm, scheduling a 2nd one, otherwise they've typically miscarried) So, the patient explains that they've been referred out. Just as they leave we hear the scoop, 40 fingers and 40 toes! (although not developed yet :P) ) And then suddenly our front desk is a social gathering and an open discussion forms on what the couple should do. Everyone was talking about reduction and safety and health for the babies and the mother. I could feel the tears welling up and I just said, "It is a miracle, two sets of identical twins, I know I could never even think about a "reduction". And then thank the Lord, three other women agreed with me and my hyperventilating self was able to breath.
I never thought about that side of the job before. Things like this are so rare now, doctors are so careful and aim to only have singletons if it can be helped. Although I've never met a fellow IVF'er that doesn't at least secretly want twins just a little bit. I am not sure what the outcome will be for this couple, I don't even know their name, but I've been praying for them all day. This one is so heavy on my heart. It is so easy for me to romanticize the idea of multiples, but I do know all the risks, all the potential harm, and all the heart ache that can come from this. I know I couldn't, not even for a second entertain the idea of stopping a heart beat so another could live.
This job really is too hard.