Sunday, November 13, 2011

Just One - A Real Zinger

Alright here it is, the one I cannot resist to share. I feared I'd be struck by lightening today at church ... it is that good. 

My in-laws are here. I am obviously in the middle of some 34 year old crisis and as stated previously my bullshit tolerance is lower than usual. With all that being said the visit has been trying. The hubs is on some super diet and it has been the talk all week, it is grating on my nerves. No so much that he is dieting just that with his surgery recovery and all his job woes it seems all that anyone is talking about is worrisome issues. I need positivity. I need a damn cheerleader. Thank God for my mother! Seriously - she has talked me off a few ledges this week. But I digress. Here is the juicy part:

Today after getting home from work, and saying friendly hellos to all,  I brewed a nice hot cup of coffee. My family was outside with S's parents and I just needed ten minutes to unwind before I had to entertain, and lets face it, be the life of the party because everyone else would be too busy complaining. So, I take my coffee downstairs and put it on the table and proceed to the bathroom where I STEP IN PEE! The smell was so gross! I started gagging while I washed my foot off in the sink. Seriously - sock and all. There is a shower in that bathroom but there is a nice medical seat in there for S, because apparently he has the body of a 99 year old. So I threw out my sock - and scrubbed. Next I went to the cleaning closet and got all the appropriate gear to clean up the missed target. I was repulsed and so upset. I understand that C is 8 and that S is basically one legged but a toilet bowl is pretty big - I think I could hit the blue water standing up! So I clean and I am mad. I finally get to my coffee and it is cold. I was now really really mad. 

Now there were a few exchanges in between the next part of the story but basically that is the background. I was in no mood for anyone's shit, or pee for that matter. Later in the day we go to church. S doesn't go because he is still recovering. C, S's parents and I went to an afternoon Mass. It was actaully a very good one. But at the end I notice L (S's mom) is basically weepy and teary eyed. I ask her if she is okay and she says in a tone that sounds like she is going have her heart wrenched out of her chest at any moment "It just feels like there is a is a hole in my sole without my boy here." to which I reply "Well he isn't dead"

I was ignored for hours - it was a little slice of awesome.


Chickenpig said...

BWA HAAAAA haaa haaa haaa!!!! OMG you ROCK! :)

Jamie said...

LMBO!!!!!!!!! Oh man thats hilarious that you said that!!!!

Becca B said...

HA .. you actually said it and I bet it felt good! L will get over it, and I feel your pain, same exact thing happened to me in the bathroom when I got home from work yesterday. And the big boys are just as bad as the little one. And you were certainly justified!!! I have to agree.. you rock!!