Saturday, August 21, 2010

Dear Procter & Gamble

Dear Procter & Gamble,

I am writing you today to inform you that your Crest brand of Glide dental floss is defective. Yes, my pearly whites are gleaming, and yes, I floss daily, however today I have discovered a defect.

I enjoy flossing my teeth in the evening. Last night I opted to floss while having a "seat" in the bathroom. Normally it isn't my practice to kill two birds with one stone (or turd as the case maybe) however, last night my better half was also at the sink brushing his teeth and it was crowded. Before you get all grossed out on me, yes we do all those things in front of each other. But I digress, so there I sit; flossing away when the secondary business ends. So I leave the container of floss on the side of the tub, take care of some paperwork and proceed to the sink to wash my hands and use mouth wash (sorry, that is Target Brand).

Fast forward to this afternoon, when I again use the bathroom and notice that the shower is dripping. As I fiddle with the handle for the water I notice my container of floss. Hmmm, flossing - that sounds like fun I think. (I ate popcorn) So I grab the container and attempt to pull out a huge string, only to find it has adhered to itself and can no longer be pulled through the little hole. No finagling in the world could make my floss unstuck. It is obvious that the mint flavoring was way too sticky for the floss and when it got wet from the shower it dried in one big lump. I would like a refund please.

Also, you may want to write a warning on the side of the packaging that reads "Do not get wet" or "Do not use while pooping" or "Don't be a dumb ass" or "Jamie, don't be a dumb ass" which ever you find most fitting.

Your Loyal Un-flossed Customer.


I hope life can only get better said...


Jamie said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!! Abby is looking at me like I'm crazy because I can't stop laughing. I don't even know what to say. Oh J you crack me up :)

Darlene said...

Jamie you are too funny. At least you didn't floss in between the paperwork business and washing your hands:)