Thursday, May 13, 2010

Afternoon Confession

I told a pretty big lie today. Like morally big. Now, I am drowning my sorrows in microwavable burritos. It isn't working. Starbucks is next.

So, I spoke with K this morning and I miss her so much. Normally we'd talk 1-2 times a week and catch up with all the new stuff in our week. But since she moved from California to Montana she dropped down to a cell plan that doesn't allow her to talk all that often. So in the last three months I have only talked to her a few times. Today she told me that she had a new boyfriend and I said "I am so happy for you." Big Fat Huge LIE.

I am not happy for her. I mean she is welcome to live her own life, so my judgment means squat I am sure, but still I feel so bad. Really, I am not happy for her, I think she is really making some mistakes. She just left her significant other after 10 (ish) years and she just arrived in Montana in February with her kids. It seems so soon. Maybe not for her, since I am sure the relationship was over way before the split, but not for her children. My only saving grace in the conversation was "just be careful you fall so hard so fast and I don't want to see you get hurt." But really what I wanted to say is "you are going to screw up your kids, stop and be a grown up, they are more important, are you sure this is okay for your family?"

There is more ... Then she says her daughter is going to see her father in Maine for a month once school gets out and "at this point I (she) doesn't care if she decides to live with him." and me, the two faced liar says "Do you think you've done all you can with her?" But I don't press the issue, I just let it hang their and sound like I agree.

So am I just being supportive and agreeable or am I being a two faced lying hypocrite? Well, if it warrants a confession than I suppose I am going to have to make the phone call back to her. But can I really warn her to slow down and do everything in her power to keep her daughter living with her until she finishes high-school? You can't exactly tell people how to parent. And it isn't like I have ever been in her situation, maybe I don't know all the facts. (that would be justification for taking the easy way out)

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Wow. It's so sad about her! And its so hard to speak your (meaning me, its not hard for everyone) mind to people. Maybe she just needs some good, sound advice. Then again she may not take it, but it couldn't hurt to let her know you're concerned? I don't know...thats a toughie!