Saturday, May 29, 2010

It's a Gene Thing

Saturday Morning News sucks. I have seen the same stories all week. It is like nothing happens on a Friday. When did I become such a news junkie? I don't know, it is in my blood I suppose. My Pop-pop is known to watch CNN for twenty hours at a stretch, lets blame genes.

Other things to blame genes on:
  • Excessive cream in my coffee
  • I can smell a casino from fifty miles away
  • Thinking McDonald's is a food group
  • Hair that turns orange at any given dye
  • The uni-brow
  • The development of the white woman's fro
  • One crooked toe on my right foot
  • An ability to watch hours of TMZ and call it news
  • An ability to watch TV for hours in the first place, just an over all love for the boob tube
  • The ability to justify any money needed or wanted for a vacation
  • The overall ability to justify the use of any money for recreational purposes
  • The overall ability to loose a bill at the bottom of my pocket book, even though I pay everything online
  • A true 'natural' ability to exaggerated at the drop of a hat, a big hot pink hat with spikes
  • The ability to believe that hitting a 22 on hole 17 yesterday was good, not as great as my 18 on hole 11, on the back nine I managed over a hundred strokes ... genes certainly
  • The ability to believe that tomorrow is going to be the best day ever
  • The ability to believe that the nasty service worker really does have their panties in a bunch
  • The Un-ability to say panties without laughing
  • The natural sixth sense to notice any dog taking a crap out of the corner of my eye, then of course I always have to look
  • The ability to sleep through a fire drill but wake up at the slightest drop of a pin if C is sick
  • My overall awesomeness

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