Here We Go Again?

Let's face it, the stork is never showing up. I had some prelim testing and procedures done to see if my body might be ready for another IVF cycle. Despite the huge probing penis wand the saline sonogram went well, and the blood tests looked good despite the Thryroid. The doc says we have to get that in check before we start again. Plus S needs to redo all his testing. God knows why... it isn't like you can teach those little guys to be better swimmers. There are two cycles in the next five months that we could join. One is at the end of the this month and the other in the spring. We aren't jumping in and running ourselves into the ground to make it into the first one, if it happens great, if not we will be there in the spring, maybe.

Our lives have been really screwy lately. S is traveling all the time. A few months ago his boss promised that there would be no traveling in January because the office needed some serious attention, but when he went back to work on Tuesday (after his VK) there were plane tickets on his desk. He leaves Monday night. Then at the end of the month he goes to CA again for 6 days. The idea of him being here for a month straight is what tempted us back into the IVF deal. But the timing now couldn't be worse. I spoke with the doctors at Walter Reed about it and they said it is possible to fit me in at the end of the cycle which runs into the first week in February, but either way, S may or may not be here. I don't want to set us up for disappointment.

It has been a long time since we attempted IVF. In fact, we are still paying for it. But there was a point that I realized that owing money is just that owing money. It isn't as daunting as a car you can't afford, or a credit card's charges that you cannot explain. It is a more or less part of our family planning and we do not need to feel guilty or overwhelmed by that. Looking at the bill every month does not mean we failed, we just aren't done. So we're open for another round, we'll see how all our cards fall.