While reading 1st Peter this morning I was smacked upside the head with logic. Chapter three focuses on inner beauty. It is apparent that I have let this quality, which is there for the taking, escape.
I sort of have this funny way of categorizing everything. If you read my blog and not met me I doubt you'd put me in the nice and kind category. If you met me and not read my blog I doubt you'd put me in the raving lunatic category. I do not intend to be two different people, I just like having a place to be a lunatic and still be able to function in normal society with out my frustrations and resentments being apparent to anyone else. i.e. two different people, but my point: I stick all these labels on issues and compartmentalize them so I don't have to deal with two or three "hard" things at once. I cannot function contently knowing that C is having school trouble, my in-laws are difficult, and my faith is tested all at once.
So, 1 Peter, beauty is from within. Having a reverence and submission for the Lord will result in a peace, a contentedness, a glow that will have to shine because that is the only way beauty from within works - you cannot mask it, you cannot hide the fact that you are pure and reverent. So, I'm in.
This isn't to say I can't be a hormonal nutcase when the moment presents itself. After all I am still Jamie. I just realize there are bigger things than my problems and if I let them consume me I will loose way more than I gain. And even though those rants can come off as silly there is some therapeutic quality there that allows me to let it go and not bring it to light in the whole world. Could you imagine if my in-laws ever knew how I felt in those moments? It would crush them. What if C knew I think the school issue is one big pain and I wish we could just resign to the fact that he should stay back and not have IEP? That isn't' exactly logical or in his best interest. I cannot always go around speaking my every thought or thinking that all my thoughts are exactly right. But I like spilling it all here. And today, I am pretty happy that Peter was able to explain to me what is important in my life today.
1 comment:
I am so glad you wrote that, I am going to read that passage tonight! It is like we are on the same wave length. What you wrote here also made me think. sometimes we have to take the high road so to speak. I am actually getting a little teary here! Big sap that I am!
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