Transferring Fears

Today I had some very irrational transferring fears.

This morning at approximately 11:00am I may have become pregnant. For anyone wondering, compared to the whole IVF process- having sex in front of an audience would have been better than going through an IVF transfer. Just so you know. But on the bright side, we made it this far!

So here is the brief rundown of the "show". First I "undress from the waist down." {I swear that is their favorite saying!} and then I go into the transfer room. It smelled and instantly brought back the memory of dissecting earth worms in biology class. It was like this formaldehyde mixed with Lysol stench that seriously was making me ill. So then I assume the position in the stirrups that I love so much and the doctors totally take the "privacy sheet" and lift it up over my stomach. One explains that they need to do an ultrasound. Right..... a regular ultrasound. I was thinking the who-ha kind.

So randomly I have never had a real ultrasound like this one and it was one of the most painful things I have ever felt. Anyway, one doc puts all the "equipment" in me and the other begins this ultrasound. The one with the equipment is yammering about not seeing the right spot, the one doing the ultrasound is putting all her weight onto my pelvis and pressing so hard that my bladder was spasming and I was practically convulsing from pain. I was crying and could barely talk when they asked me "what's wrong?". Then as if to answer my prayers they switched places. The next ultrasound didn't hurt at all. The lady just slid more goop around and used the wandy looking thing to show me my uterus on the screen. She just kept saying "wow your bladder is still spasming, we never really see that".

Oh right! That is becuase You just had the bionic women pressing all 175 pounds of her into me and I am quite sure she may have been trying to kill me! Granted I didn't share these thoughts.

And the first doc that was killing me with that found "the spot" with out a problem. This was good, because just two or three minutes later I watched on the screen as they injected two embryos into the "sweet spot".

I guess that wasn't that brief.

The next step is just to lay there for ten minutes and wait for the embryos to "stick" and that is when all this irrational fear started to overcome an sense of logic and education I brought with me. I actually made S ask the nurse if they could "fall out." She told me know, but that just didn't sooth me, so I asked her when she came in the room: "what if I sneeze really hard?" She said no and I just continued "what if this ...." "What if that..." and then she smiled and said "think of it like a grain of sand and your uterus as a tablespoon of peanut butter - the sand isn't going to fall out" So I relaxed for a few minutes and finished off New Moon.

As I was leaving I realized that while we were waiting for the transfer I had heard someone mention peanut butter in another room. This was after another lady was wheeled out of the transfer room. Ha, I wonder how many times a week they hear the same questions I asked?

So we have a test in about two weeks to see if the transfer worked. At this point we have a 50/50 shot. Both embryos were day five blasts which is just IVF talk for "pretty". Each one has a 25% chance of implanting on their own. We are really hopeful. Still, we are having the left overs frozen, for two reasons, one we can try again if it doesn't work and two we can try again if it does :O) Go forth and multiply my friends!