IVF Part One

Maybe this should be part two / or maybe Part One Round Two. Whatever the title, We started again this week. And for any new readers - I warn you - if you continue reading you most likely at some point will laugh hysterically because I am sure to do something that is ridiculously insane in the next two weeks and then at some point you would likely make a face and yell out "oh that is gross." because at I will be sure to offer too much information.

So part one today was fine. This time around the big honkin' probe didn't seem like a porno prop. Although the newer Doc caught me off guard by asking "how was your weekend?" Actually the conversation was more like this:

"Number 5, follow me." {when you get there you just take a number similar to the deli counter}

"Here for a Sono?"

"Yeah, it is our baseline appointment." We enter an exam room - and the doc prepares the porno prop.

"So, just undress from the waist down and have a seat."

"Oh sure, it is our second round - I know the drill." Then I oh so eloquently explained that I was still on my period. Which is so weird. First, I had no idea what to say and was actually worried about it - Of course it is normal, I mean they plan out what dates you will be ovulating by giving you meds so of course they know exactly when you will be. But I just kept wondering do I say, I am menstruating, I'm bleeding, I have my period still, I am on my period? - I was a freaking mess. (TMI TO FOLLOW)Not to mention that on Friday I actually called my nurse because it was black.

What you ask? Ummm yeah - my period - it was black - no red, no brown, no flowing tablespoons of blood you hear about in health class. Black gross globs. I almost went to an emergency room. I kept making deals with myself that if the nurse didn't call back in an hour, I would call the IVF emergency line. When the nurse called back, she was just like "oh, that happens, it is just an old uterine wall and the eggs from last cycle." OH SO GROSS! Anyway I was still crazy over it and was never so happy to see red blood this morning before my appointment - at least that could be normal. So back to the appointment...

So, after my awkward explanation the doc was like "Oh - that is totally normal, so how was your weekend?" and I so eloquently was like "ahhh, yeah good I guess."

"I went to a friends, it was a great Easter."

Oh shit - that's right - it was Easter. Sorry Jesus - dropped the ball there.

Then doc leaves and S was like - hey do you want me to wait out in the hall for a few minutes. And me - who is so not shy - did not hesitate a big YES. So strange, and out of character - I am still not sure why I would do that. Errr, I make stories so long. Okay - so S goes in the hall, I take off my jeans and underwear and decide I should wipe "the area" clean before the doc comes in, and I look for the standard baby wipes in the room - but instead grab the Lysol / Clorox wipes. - OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

I suppose it was better than the time I mooned the other doc. And it wasn't as bad as when I sneezed during an exam and thought I had peed on the porno prop. (I don't think I wrote about that one - there has to be some privacy right? LOL ) Plus no one had to know about this one. Sometimes I am such a moron - So I disinfected my who-ha and stumbled over what I did for a major holiday - not just a major holiday - like the most major one. Oye-Ve, I really am a mess.

Next appointment is Next Monday. Unless they call sooner - which happened last time. And as an after thought - the appointment actually went just fine. The new doc is really nice, and she didn't feel the need to relentlessly stab me with the honking probe, she was quick. Hopefully we get her again, but I am sure we will end up with the interns by the second appointment.