Perks

I must warn any readers - I have just taken two percocets. I could fall asleep at any moment, or just get even sillier than normal. But lots to tell:

1. There was a male nurse yesterday who wasn't wearing any underwear. I noticed. It was gross. The very robust and slightly feminine man needed a shave and a hair cut. His teeth were sort of yellow so I just looked down, and then HELLO, free balling it to the left in a pair of light blue scrubs.
2. When getting ready for the surgery I was told to grab a bag of clothes and change then proceed to the waiting room with the other surgery patients. So I grab a bag and tie on the gown. It was sort of tight, but I didn't really think much of it. So then I put on the little socks - S was so excited about those. Next there are a pair of pant and I was thinking "well, I don't need those, considering where they are going for this surgery." So I just put them back in the bag and took out the next article, a robe. I tried to put the robe on but it was way too small. I couldn't even put two arms in at once. So I look at it and realize it is a size XS. Oh, so I look at the gown, it too is a XS. Granted I wear anywhere from a large to an XL depending on the size, so these must have run big in parts if I could get the gown on. So, I sort of shuffle through the changing room door and back over to the cart, holding the gown closed in the back and look for a bag with the right size. I grabbed it and changed out the robe. Then went out to the room where the cart was to sit with S. I look around and there are like fifteen other people waiting in there and they are all wearing the pants! I sit for a few minutes but then figure I better get the pants. Well, I go and grab the bag I left under the counter and pull out a pair - of course they were smalls! So back I go a fourth time into this changing room in front of everyone just to get the sizes right. I was a mess.
3. The doctor thought I was an idiot, of this I am sure. So, it is finally my turn in the surgery room and they give me the sleepy drugs. I just burst out laughing and can't stop. They strap my legs into these bootie type holders in the famed GYN stirrups and I am hysterical. I can't stop. I am laughing so hard I am crying. I ask the doc "is this normal?" and he says "well, not exactly - most times people just giggle." Well, eventually I fell asleep, but man was I laughing hard.
4. The nurse who was in phase one recovery said to me "you are my favorite patient this week." But sadly I can't remember just what I was saying - but it must have been good. I have a slight memory about asking for popcorn - but that is all.
5. The nurse in Phase two recovery said "Ahh, I have heard about you." I just sort of smiled trying to think of something witty - it didn't work. Of this I am so glad because as it turned out she wasn't talking to me. She was talking to some load mouth IVF lady next to me.
6. The loud mouth: While we were in the waiting room this women was really loud. At one point she was laughing like a hyena - or me in surgery - your pick. Her husband was just a loud. They were really a funny looking couple. The woman, large, black and loud - the man, Small, white, and loud. Anyway - afterwards when we were in the same recovery room my nurse asked me if I wanted cranberry juice or apple juice first. My answer - "cranberry please." and then suddenly loud mouth says "I want the apple juice, hey can you hear me?" and there went my apple juice. Hmmm, big o' loud apple juice stealer she was.

Today I slept all day. I had the following dreams:

1. I was in my sister's book. I found my dad after the earthquake but he wasn't my dad he was the cross dressing queen in hers - I was freaked out.
2. I was looking for Edward in Italy - I couldn't find him.
3. I was in a library trying to borrow a copy of the CD with Shiny Happy People. [i just heard that Michael Stipe worked on an album with somebody recently - maybe that is where that came from]
4. I was running a 5k and my doctor was yelling "NO, DON'T! Your test was positive"
5. I was running a 5k and my doctor was yelling "GO Jamie GO!"
6. S and I stuck in a tornado and yelling for our dog.
7. I was eating gross food and called my mom to complain - she just told me a story about Home Depot.
8. I was drinking a coffee and wishing it wasn't laced with roach pee. [woke up screaming there]
9. Then there was one where I was trying to read a map, but couldn't find true north. Then from there I was looking for my bra in a pile of clean laundry while wishing I could find clean socks too.
10. I was dreaming that I was dreaming. It was weird, really weird.
11. I was having sex, lots of it. I couldn't exactly see my husband - but he was there. I am not sure he had a big part - I seemed to be flying pretty solo on my adventure. While "having fun" I was patting around the floor looking for the camera. - GO AHEAD - Make fun now. I know TMI. I had this dream like five times. I just kept thinking when I woke up "doesn't my body know that this is not how I make babies?" LOL

So there you have it. Tonight I feel better after the double dose. S and I are babysitting tonight. Well, S has to do all the hard parts - like getting all the kids to sleep - LOL I can't life the baby, so he's been Mister Mom. Still the big kids had fun. A and C painted - we did a bunch of puzzles, watched Wubbzy and made a pumpkin cake. It was nice for C. After all he has been shuffled between so many babysitters the last few weeks and even today while S and I were both home I was passed out and S had a paper to write. So the poor kid was on his own for entertainment from like noon to five. I am still surprised that he didn't destroy the place or hit the fridge all that much.

One kind of cool note: Last week S and I decided that C was getting a little to influenced by TV. So we opted to unplug his TV from cable. The first day he noticed and told S his TV was broken. We told a parenting lie - "Hmmm, it looks like your cable went out during the storm last night." The next day C asked me if I could fix it. I brushed it off and said maybe tomorrow. He hasn't asked about it yet. In fact, he hasn't even been watching cartoons in the morning lately. Tonight once the kids were winding down I said I would put a show on for them and C was like "I want sponge bob!" and I just said, "you know, A is too young for that, I am going to pick a Noggin show instead." So, Wubbzy it was, and there was no complaining, only a happy kid who got to watch a cartoon. I love when TV works for me!