Here is the deal. We haven't told the parents on either side about IVF. S's parents have been hounding us to visit. We looked at the calender and May is going to be crazy too. We wrap up IVF the first week, then second and third weeks S has travel booked to Denver and Vandenberg. I really wanted to go with him to Vandenberg - but it seems this might be the only week his parents can come down that he would actually have some time to see them. (Memorial Day) It sucks. They pile on the guilt and don't even stop to think about our feelings. I am pretty upset over the situation. If IVF works then company would be great - if it doesn't things could go down the crapper really fast.
The thing is you can't just tell them, listen we have been going through a rough time that we do not want to talk about and need a little space, we are happy that you are here and we are glad you are visiting but please give us some understanding. It just isn't fair. We may have to have that conversation and it may have everlasting affects on the relationship. They are so damn fragile. By them, I totally mean L, But D doesn't help.
We didn't tell them so that we would not have to consider their feelings during the events. We didn't tell them so that we could focus on us and not hear words meant for encouragement that actually cut deeper than a knife like "it wasn't meant to be" or "did you try this..." The facts is we have a better chance if we stay as stress free as possible. I really thought if we kept them at a distance we /I could keep that stress at a distance.
Two hour later ...
So, I talked to S about all of this. He did make me feel better. Basically saying his parents are his problem. What ever we need to tell them he said he would take care of it and I don't have to worry. It helped. He is a little bent about keeping it from them. He is an all or nothing type of guy. We either tell everyone or no one. Now, in his defense he said this isn't the case here - but I know he is concerned that his parents will find out that others knew and their feelings will be hurt, and that is quite admirable. None of us really want to hurt those who only want the best for us - even if they generally cause a huge pain in our ass. LOL - so much for sentiment. For the record, I am still not happy about the situation - but such is life. I am scared it won't work and my hormones are really screwy this time around which has me all wacky - for lack of better description.
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Also, there is a darn mouse under the server in the dining room eating a piece of dog food. At least he could be quiet! And you know - the dog could care less. Last night there was one in right in her food dish and she just looked at it and walked away. So - not too happy about this situation either. My neighbor said I could have her cat for a few days - I am seriously concidering it. The base obviously can't help.
Wow, I can't believe all the mouse & other critter problems you have! Gross! Maybe I won't consider visiting you, lol;) I get enough of those things at my parent's! jk
So sorry about the whole situation w/his parents. It really stinks that they are so needy. And I bet if you told them they'd turn it into about them (if that makes sense). It wouldn't be about you and what your going through and how it all affects you but about them. I think your making the right decision. You've dealt w/enough crap, you don't need any more, especially when you're trying to create a precious LIFE! Love you girl!!! (((HUG)))
Mice are really gross. We are not living on a base again after this. It so isn't worth it. Our house is concidered "New" but the construction is crap - the dry wall doesn't even go all he way to the floor in the laundry room or the kitchen so the critters just come right in. We've steel wooled everything - set traps - poisons - and foam cored the crap out of the walls and holes - but eventually they make their way back in. ERRR. I killed one with a broom last night - it was not fun - but the darn thing kept getting into the dog food bowl and making a ton of noise - so I couldn't ignore it. Ths morning when I woke up there was one floating in the dog water bowl - so he drowned? Then last night right before I was going bed I heard a noise behind the TV - I just turned out the light and went upstairs - The exterminator is coming Tuesday - but he has been here before - I have no confindence in the situation.
Geez sounds like the rodents are overtaking your house.I hate mice! I totally agree with Jamie's comment. YOu need to be stressed free at this time and be a little selfish and think about yourself not what others want. I know how you feel though, you don't want to make any tention between you and them. Good Luck.
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