Venting.

I am so mad. MAD, MAD.

Currently my son is in his room, with no possibility of parole. And really, I am over reacting. I know I am over reacting and I don't care. I need time to process life at the moment.

There is a whole back story, which I will bore you with.

I thought C was hording paperwork in his cubby at school. He's also gotten sick two times (throw up) just before school activities. I suspect it is either a lactose issue or nerves. I am leaning towards to latter.

Some very old work has come home in abundance in the last week. It is all bad. In fact, it looks like a preschooler did it. On math pages he is asked to draw a four inch line and he zig zags and draws a man. On a story page he is asked to write about a tree and there are letters everywhere and nothing is readable. On one quiz he got two out of twenty five questions correct. I felt that these items should have been coming home in a more timely basis so that I could re-do them with C.

I emailed Miss T, his teacher, and informed her of this suspicion and expressed my concern for the papers not making their way home. She emailed back, first thing this morning (to her credit) that she can send the papers home daily, but that she kept the majority of C's work for "reference". Miss T also says that she will call me today to talk about the concerns. Yup, great, no, still not to my point, but I am getting there.

So C comes home today. The bus is 7 minutes early and the bus goes half way past the stop because I am a few steps away! I started waving my arms and finally they stopped. So aggravating! C said he was yelling at the bus driver that he could see me and to stop but she said, "sorry, she'll have to pick you up at school". But then she saw me and did stop. I was less than twenty steps away!!! So he was upset, I was annoyed and the dog was, well she is always crazy.

On the walk home I asked C how school was and he said it was not good. He said that the class was taking a test and he didn't want too because he likes "my own schedule" and he left the class room to go sit in the little seating area. His teacher came out to have a talk with him and told him he cannot take a break. C also said she called him lazy. Now, I always side with the teacher. I know parents are suppose to be on their child's side, and I feel guilty there, but honestly - he can't just get up and leave because he wants a break! Then again, he could be making himself sick because he is so far behind the others. Everything is getting harder for him, even stuff he use to do without trouble. I am sure Miss T didn't call him lazy, and I am sure to C that is exactly what it sounded like. She most likely said that she can't allow him to have a break during a test because that action would be lazy and she probably explained that he had to do the hard work too. But I digress...

So we're walking home and I feel horrible. C keeps begging to be home schooled and is whining about everyone being mean to him. When we get into the house C says "Oh and I bought lunch today."

Here is where I am so pissed off. He has done this three our four times over the last month when his lunch is perfectly fine in his backpack. All morning he annoyed me with the what I was packing him. And you know what - the darn child didn't even open his backpack when he got to school. Homework - still in there. Report card - still in there (has been for two weeks). I am mad. Obviously I may have kept my cool if I'd heard about a better day. Guilt, sadness, and slight annoyance has caused me to over react, specifically:

"You what?"

"I bought my lunch"

"Did you even open your backpack?"

"Well you didn't pack my lunch"

"OPEN Your Backpack" Said through a clenched jaw.

"Oh"

"CJW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT!" Angry mom voice, or you know, yelling.

I was hoping that his teacher would call all this while. I don't love the idea of her calling while C is running around. I suppose I need to go talk to him. I don't even know what to say. Maybe I should just mumble something about PMS and anxiety over therapy tonight... Maybe I should show him the commandments and guilt him into honoring and obeying ... Maybe I should just hope he's fallen asleep and wakes up happy ... Maybe I should ground him from TV or the likes for disobeying me with the lunch deal ... Maybe I should just leave him in there until S get's home... Maybe I'll just go take a hot bath...

I was hoping Miss T would have called so that I could feel better about his school situation so that I could in turn be motivated to help him into the right direction. Soooo, not Miss T's job.